Learning to make choices

No doubt, I'm the most useless person. What can I do other then to piss those ppl who r considered close to me. To break the hearts of those who care for me. When I'm at my lowest point, they are the ones who stood by me. And when things are fine, I seem to have amnesia and become a dog who turns around to bite its own owner. What a beast, isn't it?

I'm such a stubborn person. I don't care how I get the stuff I want, undertable means, overtable means, underhand or overhand methods, I shall get what I want. But what do I achieve at the end of the day? I just become some cold-blooded monster who doesn't know what "gratitude" means. Sometimes as I think ahead, I can't imagine what kind of person I will turn into when I go to work next time. Somebody u wish u will never bump into perhaps? I don't know. And I don't know if some sacrfices are really worth in order to pursue what u want?

To pursue your dream, is it worth sacrificing my family, my relatives, my friends, and whoever that I know>? And at the end of the day, what if I realise that perhaps some things are just NOT worth giving up... But you realised that it's too late. And what happens next is you will be filled with regret and be trapped in that vicious cycle? You are just a farking miserable person who doesn't have anybody to share your joy or sadness with. You regret that WHY did you have to pay such a HUGE price in order to fulfill that FUCKING dream of yours. Everybody has their own dreams. But at the end of the day, why must you create such a big havoc until it seems as if your dream is some "BIG SCALED" dream. If you are farking capable, then you wouldn't need to rely on others to fulfill ur dream. But the fact is, I'M NOT.

So what if I make it big in Japan? So what if I can graduate with a good degree in Japan? So what if I can get a high-paying job in Japan? So what if I can have all the materialistic wants I can ever think of? Will I feel satisfied? I will just feel so miserable. When you see others can share their joy with their family, I can't. When others still can return to a place they called "Home", I can't. When others are able to go through thick and thin with their family, I can't. For all the satisfaction that you get from attaining your dream, you shall pay a price of losing something called "Kinship" which you cannot buy even if you are a farking millionair.

So at the end of the day, everybody has to make choices. Every choice perhaps comes with sacrifices. So the problem is, is the choice you make WORTHS more than the sacrifices you make? If not, did you make the wrong choice?

I think I have made my choice.

Next week 3 working days. Next next week ATEC stage2, waste of time. Then after that.. Donno do wat also. Sianz... Although is 40 days, it still seems VERY LONG away. One more month of duty... And it's sayounara... Haiz. Realised alot of ppl in camp also like bochap attitude. Everyone just thinks of faster ATEC finish then fark off. But I still no ORD mood lar. Piangz. Okay lar, I think when ATEC finishes in 2 weeks time I shld be "bochap" also. Hopes the battalion don't come up with any stunts or wat again. If not really SIANZ 1/2.

I'm tired. Life sucks.

So yesterday's was Emperor Akihito's Birthday. Owellz, "Banzai!"

I really feel I have lived my 20 years in vain, achieving nothing. What a blardy waste of time.

So I went to the Japan Embassy today to find out more about looking for schools offering EJU, aka "Japanese A-levels". Then it's like from what I know, the GCE A-level Cert which I took in Singapore is REDUNDANT lar. Fuck man. Wah laoz, I abit buey song y I wasted 2 yrs studying in JC lar. If only I can be MORE rebellious when I'm 17 after my O-levels, then maybe I can straight away go there to study. Like what the embassy person say, they also don't care whether u get AAA or EEE for ur GCE A-levels. After all, u r gonna take the EJU which matters ultimately. HAIZ. And yaz, I spend another 2 years serving this wonderful country. Thanks arz SAF. And so in total I just feel that I have spend 4 years of my LIFE in VAIN lar.

Because for me, I think age is very important leh. I mean like wah laoz, u wanna graduate at the age of 27, whereby other ppl maybe grad at the age of 22 or 23? Fuck sia, REALLY waste of time. I just feel that I'm no different from some ITE student who go to polytechnic then after that go to uni to realise they r gonna grad at the age of wat 26 or 27? O gosh, what a BLARDY waste of time man. Really lorz. Just now, the more I think of it, the more I felt pissed off lar. I just felt life is not fair lar. I mean true lar, life is NEVER fair.

Haiz. I donno why I just feel ANGRY to be in this small island called S*******. Really lorz. Sumtimes I really wish I can just leave this place and never come back at all. I really don't mind giving up my everything so that I can start from scratch in Japan.

And then my father insist that I shld at least complete my degree in Singapore so if I "CMI" in Japan, then I at least got a degree to fall on. Haiz, but then if my heart is not even here, I also won't do well. Because while I was chatting with consultant from the embassy, she also told me that perhaps I shld study in Singapore first, since studying for degrees like Engineering or Science in Japan and Singapore are abt the same. UNLESS u r gonna study Business or Econs then the content of ur degree will be abit different in the 2 countries. And when I heard that I was like "Hmm..Yaz, actually I'm thinking of doing a Biz/Econs degree." and the consultant was like -_-''' . And so my father just feel that even if I can scrape thru this EJU, he feels that I will drop-out from Uni in yr1 or yr2. It's so depressing to hear such things from my father. Am I really so stupid?

If my Dys1 can get AAAB for A-levels then also can grad from Osaka University with a Electrical Engin degree, I really don't see y I cannot make it there as well lar. Yaz, true, I admit I'm not smart. My Dys1 from RJC, I from lousy JC. He is PSC scholar, I am nothing. Ppl read 2 times can understand, I need to read 10 times. But wellz, does it matter whether u smart anotz>? If that's the case, I will put in EXTRA work lar. Ppl study 5 hrs then I study 10 hrs. I think I will really do that if I cannot catch up with the lessons if I'm in Japan.

There are 120 million ppl in Japan. IF THEY CAN SURVIVE in Japan, why can't NG WEI YANG do it? Don't tell me that Japan cannot even accomodate ONE extra person? Don't tell me that my intelligence or EQ n stuff is LOWER than that 120 million ppl in Japan? I'm confident I can find a way for survival in Japan. Even if let's say **touch wood** like my father say I really Uni halfway drop-out, don't tell me that that's the end for me? I'm sure that is a way to survive, is just how resourceful u r and how determined u r.

I'm really tired of living my life to one's bidding. Serving my 2 youthful years with NO MEANING, NO PURPOSE. And to be frank, I really feel VERY sad that I have to use my parents' money if I wan to go Japan to study. Yes, I know it's exp. The sch fees alone already headache. Then consider accomodation I know is not a small sum. But I REALLY REALLY got no choice but to use my parent's money. I wish my parents will charge me 50% interest rate at least make me feel better. And I also don't know when will I be able to return them this large sum of money. By the time I start work I'm perhaps in my late 20s liaoz. Haiz. I really feel very guilty that my parents have to fork out money. I think I will strive to do well for EJU then hopefully I can try to find potential Japanese companies that can sponser me money, like "financial grant" like tt then I won't mind serving bond for them for a few yrs.

Owellz, nvm. I managed to hold of some brochurs and guide pamphlets regrading studying in Japan. I think it's time I start looking for potential Japanese school offering EJU course. And the next application period is from Feb 2008 to Apr 2008, in order to start sch in Oct 2008. Owellz, got the whole of January to dig out info from the THOUSANDs of Schools offering the Japanese courses in the whole of Japan.

Which city will I end up in, I also don't know.

I need advice

Haiz. I really don't wish to study in NTU or NUS or SMU. What's the point of studying in Singapore when everything that I study will be Singapore-based. What's the use of studying in Singapore if perhaps a S'pore Uni Degree may not be "as good" as compared to a Japanese Uni Degree in Japan(I mean in terms of finding a job). And best is why shld I serve f***ing 2 years when I don't intend to work here.

Nvm, I will find a way out. I don't believe that I CANNOT get into a Uni that I want. Even if let's say I have to work for 2 years full-time to earn money to pay for my Uni fees next time, I think I will. Even if I have to loan money from foreigh bank for my sch fees, I think I will. Even if I have to start school at the age of 23 or 24, I think I will. And even if I have to go for a one year Intensive Language Course prior to studying at Uni, I think I will.

Perhaps I should really consult the Japanese Embassy this coming Friday. And then I have to start going to different Univerisity websites to check for admission. Check the tuition fees will cost how much. Check cost of accomodation. Enquire for whether got loans or stuff anotz. Check for the different kind of Visa application. Luckily they have this "Studying in Japan consulting session" at the Embassy every Friday.

Haiz. Some of my camp friends were shocked that I like make such a "mad" thinking. But then it's like for those who know me since sec sch, should know that I really LOVE Japan alot larz. Even if I can't study in Japan, at the end of it I think I will still go to work in Japan lorz. Either way I also won't stay in Singapore. My parents also abit "pissed" with my decision when I propose to them abt my plan. Not really pissed lar, but they just say that I very "unrealistic" and stuff. Haiz, it's so demn sad to hear these from my parents lar. Haiz, but at the end of it, my father say if I can come out with a "detailed proposal" and show him, then I can carry-on from there and discuss. And now that I'm gonna ORD soon, I think it's really time I start planning and stuff like that.

Actually as I was telling my parents, even if I were to study in SIngapore Uni, I will confirm also enrol into Japanese course, and then I will also CONFIRM put my Japanese Language Course before my Uni work. EVen if I get wat C or D grades for my all my modules, I THINK I WILL still choose to put more time on Japanese Language. And of cuz I think my parents nearly vomitted blood talking to me. Like my parents said, they SERIOUSLY think that I "reincarnated" into the wrong country. I think so too.

But my parents really warn me that if I were to go Japan, then they won't expect me return till I have some accomplishment. Haiz, of cuz arz, I man can't possible that I spent so much of my parents' money and then after 1 or 2 yrs drop-out. Wah laoz, like that I will be no difference from thrash man. So I swear if I really CAN get the oppotunity to study in Japan, I will REALLY cherish 100% of my time to study. Even if I have to study 15 hours a day to understand, I think I will. Even if I have to give up all my entertainment and free time to do well, I will. Even if I have to start learning EVERYTHING from scratch in Japanese, I will. Even if I have to retake perhaps my "A-levels" standard pre-u entrance test in Japanese, ranging from learning knowing to do differentiation & integration to doing calculating mole concept to writing an essay on photosynthesis to calculating voltage and current and ALL in Japanese, I think I will be willing to put in the hard work, IF I am given the chance.

And of course, my parents told me if I were to make this decision, I will have to learn to solve ALL problems myself. No family, no relatives, no friends to seek help. Having to use Japanese in my everyday lifestyle, from going to supermarket to buy stuff to interacting with neighbours to watching TV shows/listening to radio programmes, ALL in Japanese. Of course, it really needs a high level of tolerance in order to maintain the "sainity" when all things fail. What happens if suddenly I face BIG financial problems, then kana chased out by the landlord. Then maybe I to sleep in the streets of Tokyo? And I have to do housework ALL myself. No more "mother-cum-maid" to cook for me, to wash my clothes, to clean the house, as my mother said. Of course, my parents have to LET me know the harsh reality of going Japan to study.

And at the end of the day, I have to admit that my life studying in Japan will not be a bed of rose. But wellz, if I have choose to take this route, then there will be NO turning-back. To be frank, I have been quite stressed just having to find out info and do planning and stuff. And of cuz money is a BIG issue. It's not as if S'pore govt will sponser me to Japan to study. And my GREATESR nightmare is what if I cannot even enter Japan Uni based on my horrendous A-levels result or sekali I study one or 2 yrs then I really cnt understand Japanese then kana kicked out due to my "not-that-bright" brain. Ogosh, that will so terrible lar.

HAIZ. And I also donno whether I can make it to GOOD uni like University of Tokyo or Osaka Univerisity or Kyoto Unversity. Sekali I kana some donno wat "kns" uni then also NO POINT lorz. If not sekali at the end of the day my parents die die don wan let me study in Japan I also die. Haiz. Can anyone advise me? I really need someone to talk to. Haiz.

PSP Games

So my TV has finally arrived. WAHAHAZ. Okay lar, I will use it often to watch DVD movies or to play my PS2. If not I buy the TV majiam to collect dust then it will be such a waste. Now I simply love my room lar. Got my own TV and radio and comp and everything that I need is all there.

And last night I juz d.l finish 2 PSP games: Silent Hill- Origins and FF 7 Crisis Core. Then for those who got PSP know that the HIGHLY ANTICIPATED game now is the Crisis Core Game arz. The graphics are juz so awesome lorz, and summore is juz released I think 1 month ago in Nov 07. But the sad thing is, IT'S ALL IN JAPANESE lar. Then I was thinking... HAIZ, MY JAPANESE so kns, confirm won't understand 1. So don't bother playing. Might as well wait till 2008 then release the English Version then I play. Or maybe I think wait till I'm at JLPT2 level then maybe I can start playing Japanese games.... THEN LIKE THAT I DON'T HAVE TO ALWAYS WAIT LIKE AGES FOR THE ENGLISH VERSION TO COME OUT FOR THOSE SO DEMN COOL JAPANESE-PRODUCED GAMES LIKE CRISIS CORE. Okay, I got one new reason why I should study Japanese.

Then I turned into SIlent Hill. For those who got watch the movie, u know it's like I donno wat kind of movie lar. (Actually I don understand the movie lorz) Abt wat a gal being burnt n stuff like that, then pop out 1 town call "Silent Hill" and then as u walk around this misty town, got monsters suddenly come attack u. Aiyaz, the plot very messy arz. Anyway, in this game u r supposed to walk around "Silent Hill" town and then u take weapon to attack monsters. (But is best that u juz run away because the monsters can respawn 1 lorz, demn it) Then the most retarded part is the whole game setting is obviously in a super dark environment until u can't really see anything. Then if u on ur flashlight, u will attract all the monsters to attack u. SO U R EXPECTED TO OFF YOUR TORCHLIGHT AND TO NAVIGATE AROUND IN ALMOST COMPLETE DARKNESS throughout this whole game. OMG lar. It's quite hard to play arz. Nvm, maybe I will play it when I'm REALLY REALLY free.

Now must d.l a few games in PSP so that when on the plane to Japan can entertain myself, if not I think I'll be bored to death.

So today's a half day off. And tomorrow another half day off. So should be staying at home to rot. Or I think I should be trying to tidy up my Japanese books cuz I didn't bother touching them at all after JLPT.

So a few days ago received the letter from NTU ask want study earlier anotz. Of course NO lar. Wah piangz, not as if I will be able to graduate earlier or what. And most importantly, I think I will still be working part-time to earn money. U know money is so demn important especially for somebody who has JUST FINISHED 2 yrs of NS. So I predict I should be slogging my ass off for the 6 months prior to start of sch in Aug.

And it's 4 days to Japan! Arz! So looking forward to it. And yes, I think I must make use of these 7 days to listen to JAPANESE then can "improve" my Japanese abit. But seriously lar, I think I 99% also catch no ball 1, so also no use. 62 days to ORD. Omg, that's pretty near already.

JLPT....

The whole JLPT process was kinda screwed up.

I arrived like 45 minutes earlier, and to my greatest horror, there were like already a BIG crowd trying to squeeze their way into the school. Arz.. Fine. Then I need to check my classroom and stuff on the notice board, and apparantly like about 1800 ppl registered for the same level of JLPT as me. Owellz, then I decided enough is enough and so I juz decided to be one of those first few ppl to enter the classroom while most others were busy mugging.

OMG lar. I was seated at the FIRST row, in the CENTRE. That means is DIRECTLY in front of the teacher's table with that stupid radio in front of me which is used for listening. Wah kaoz, y so suay sia.. And the best thing is, the tables they used were like SO SMALL lorz, (U know those tt u see in kindergarden 1??) Like those kind lar. Wah laoz, can u imagine all the adult-size ppl trying to cramp into that MINI chair and MINI table? So uncomfortable. Luckily the papers not many hours those kind. Then got one boy seated next to me, I was peeping at his entry proof, and OMG, he's born in 1995, that means like 8 yrs younger than me sia. I feel so old lorz. But then I think maybe abt 30% of the ppl there are roughly same age or younger than me. And majority are like older than me arz.

Anyway, PAPER 1 was like... Hmm.... WAHAHAZ, okay lar, I think is manageable. I juz felt so happy after the paper1. Then after tt a toilet break followed by paper2, LISTENING COMPRE.
Wah laoz, that one arz. Can you imagine like got 17 questions, I think I only got like 2 question that I *THINK* I get correct, the REST of the 15 ques were like !#$%^&*. The fact is, throughout the whole listening compre, I really tried my VERY best to listen to to the conversation n stuff, BUT 95% I SERIOUSLY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT. And hence, I come into conclusion if I can get like 40% CORRECT for Listening Compre, I think my paper 1 and paper 3 can get FULL MARKS liaoz. -_-''' Anyway, to really pass JLPT is see how u score in paper 1 and 3. Oyaz, then I did the BEST thing I could ever do. I actually shade ALL my remaning 15 questions, the answer is '3'. Cuz is MCQ mahz, got option 1, 2, 3 or 4. Then my OTAS sheet is like ONE straight column of shaded '3'. Aiyaz, I know I really CMI but wellz, nvm lar, sekali all the answers are '3' then I can get some bonus marks. Lolx.

And the end of paper2 makes me plunge into a state of disappointment, But then arz, I THINK 90% OF THE PEOPLE THERE ALSO SCREW UP THEIR PAPER 2 arz. Cuz I overheard like EVERYONE else there discussing, say wat they everything also cannot hear properly, then everything also anyhow tikam and stuff like tt. Lolx, Nvm arz, at least it's normal. Lolx.

And paper 3 was... hmm... I think manangeable as well... But wellz, donno got careless mistakes here and there alotz. Basically the compre passages I juz anyhow whack. I see the options got "repeated" in the passage that means confirm the answer. Don't understand also juz whack. Alamak. Abit jialat arz.. But then don't care lar.

Owellz, I shall wait 3 months later and see how BADLY I fare then. Up to then... Hmm.. Should be carrying on with my Japanese lesson.

FInal Burst for にほんごのうりょくしけん

HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ!!!

I seriously don't know if I can pass my JLPT tomorrow lar. Okay lar, paper 1 is quite easy. Paper 2 and 3 will be @#$%^&*. Wah laoz, like tt how to pass? 60% to pass leh. And summore I got hearing problem, I think paper 2 the listening compre is donate marks to them 1 lar. Then the Grammar for paper 3 is like.. I can NEVER get the particles correct. Gosh, sum1 teach me how to pass leh....

Look like tomorrow I must rely on my all-time powerful "ti-kam ti-kam" technique which seems to be failing most of the time.

As yesterday was an OFF day, I went to the SITEX fair at Expo hall 5 and 6. Wah kaoz, there's so many ppl although I went there at around 1130am on a Friday morning. Anyway, as I mentioned in my previous posts..I wanna buy a TV despite abit of "disapproval" from my parents. Anyway, there's so many cool TVs on display lar. Got Sony bravia, TOSHIBA, Samsung, LG, Pioneer, and many many other brands.

And I was just SO TEMPTED to buy lar.....

And of course....

I COULDN'T RESIST THE TEMPTATION LORZ!

-_-'''

So I ended up buying a 32 inch HD LCD TV...!!! Okay, pls don't ask me which TV or how much it cost. Cause I think I also don wan to say. EVen my parents I never tell them.. I only told them "I bought a TV and it will be coming next Sat..." And THAT's ALL. Cuz I think most probably they will slaughter me (even though I only use my own money) for being such a SPEND THRIFT.

Okay lar, maybe next Sat when my TV arrives and then let my parents nag and slaughter me until nobody's business then I shall let post which TV I buy. My mother was like so DESPERATE to know which TV model I bought, but I just told them wait till next Sat and they shall see for themselves, and I think that really like make them feel so @#$%^&*. Okay arz, I think my parents have more or less COME INTO TERMS I really bought a TV, but then wellz.. I really donno wat's gonna happen when next Sat comes...

And yes, after I made my payment for my 32 inch TV, I was thinking like tt my room for no TV powerpoint then jialat, cnt watch normal TV channels...

And then TA-DA.

I bought a HD DVB-MPEG-4 AVC Set-top box! And that cost me another few hundred bucks. O gosh. And then at abt 130pm I left EXPO and went to the Ikea store at tamp there. Okay, bought a TV Bench for $43. Okay arz, reasonable, and then must take taxi back home. Took me like one hour to screw and set up the TV bench.

And now I'm juz excited abt my TV tt's coming next Sat!

Doing JLPT tys is making me feel stupider and stupider... I get LOWER and LOWER marks as I continue doing the yearly paper. And the grammer SUCKS lar. All the particles are so confusing. Gosh.. Wat the hell is happening? Can miracle happen in this 1 week>? I doubt so lar.. HAIZ.

NSman Unit

Yesterday I just got to know my reservice unit: 769 SIR. Battalion. And it's the SAME unit as my current 4SIR ppl.

Haiz. Sucks. Okay lar, although I donno wat reservice will be like... And afterall.. Like 2 or 3 weeks per ICT? I donno lar.. But okay arz, now that I know I also can't be bothered much. I mean not that I can do anything much except after I graduate? **hint**

And I think reservice during schooling will indeed be VERY sianz. Can you imagine during you Dec holiday or during ur that May-July holday seasons then ask u go back camp for reservice. Arz.. I think that will be so demn @#$%^&* lar.

Aiyaz, I think too much le. Lolx.

1 more week till JLPT. Must STUDY hard. Yes I know. Ppl I know taking JLPT are studying so hard as well. Lolx..

"New furniture" Part 2

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm really a spendthrift... Or am I just some spoilt brat.. Or basically I always don't think rationally.. Or I just lack discipline?

Hmm... Actually I think I am all of the above. What my father said regarding my idea of having a TV is quite true arz. Right now while I'm serving NS, I will seldom get to use the TV as well, except when it's weekends. Then after NS, most probably I will need to work some temp job to earn back that LOTS of $$$$ LOSS I have incurred for the past 2 yrs... And this means I will seldom use the TV as well except during weekends... And then when sch starts next yr in Aug, possibly I will want to stay in the hostel to try out hostel lifestyle, and probably I will only use my TV during weekends....

And the only time I can "utilise fully" my TV is perhaps when I will choose to "stay-out" from sch during yr2 and yr3, then I will be able to go home everyday and can use it for my own entertainment purposes w/o just putting that TV there to collect dust...

And that will mean I will have to wait till mid-2009? Haiz... donno lar. What should I do?

Actually I won't really feel that "heart-pained" if I spend my money on such stuff. I donno leh.. Even though I have "wasted" so much money on so many things in my entire life thus far, but I don't feel the pinch, as personally I feel that it's "worthwhile" to pamper yourself in life. Like you always see on TV, you can't bring your money with you when you die.. So.. What's the point? And also it's like life is so unpredictable, you never know when u can just get into any accident and die.. And then imagine during your last few dying moments you will be thinking "Aiyaz, why didn't I buy XXX that time or I never go country XXX for holiday... Now I live my life in vain arz!!" and then you just die like that. Gosh. Okay lar, I know abit drama but then it's that kind of idea I wanna get into.

And most importantly, I know now maybe I'm just poor fellow....

BUT NVM, I shall study hard and get a good degree and then get a high-paying job that is can easily fetch me 10 times MORE than what I am currently earning as a NSF now. And of course I mean a few yrs after I start working as everybody knows that your pay sucks as a newbie wherever you go unless you are really lucky to be that top 1% in the workforce to get like wat 5K a month for starting pay? Okay lar.. I disgress too much le...

So back to the topic... Should I buy or should I not buy? A table bench propably will cost me around $100.. And a 26 inch LCD TV will probably cost me close to 1K? And maybe a cheapo DVD player will cost $50? Haiz, total up also must cost like 1.2K like tt... Owellz, maybe this coming weekend I should just try going to Best Denki or Audio House or some other electronic retail outlets and check out the prices before I do anything...

A new furniture in my room?

I did something drastic to my room just now. I totally re-arranged the outlay of my room, which includes moving the study desk, computer desk, books cupboard, clothes cabinet and my bed lar. And of course b4 I arrange I became a "temporary" constructor, using that "yellow ruler" that can be pulled out and roll back easily 1 (Ok, I 4get wat is that called.. watever arz..) and then start measuring the dimensions of all the furnitures in my room and also the possible arrangements. And hence, I started to draw and draw lots of "possible" arrangements but mostly are rejected because the dimensions exceeded the reality. Bleahz.

But of course, there must be ONE objective in mind before I do anything. And that is, I wanna "create" a space (despite the very cramped room I am already in) to put a TV Bench! Lolx, actually I've always wish that I can have a TV in my room, although I know it may seem quite unnecessary... but at least I can stay in my room to play my PS2 or watch DVDs or I donno wat (although I know that I don't even bother watching the TV if it has no SCV...) But wellz, like I said, just find it "better" if I can have a TV in my room and I can enjoy my own PS2 games and perhaps watch some nice movies and... blahz blahz..

And so with the help of my mother, after I have carefully measured the dimensions of the draft I've drawn out, making sure there's enough space etc, we juz basically shift everything out to the living room then after that shift back again after clearing off all the dust that had accumulated ever since God knows when. And... within like 2 hours or so. Ta-da, a brand new outlook in my room! And so now I must get adjusted to sleeping at a different position in the room, using the computer and also studying on the desk at different places! Arz.. nvm, it's time to change "feng shui" and stuff like that. It's always good to have a new outlook and occasional changes can be good too.

And most importantly, I have managed to "create" out a space that can put a reasonable size TV bench right in front of my bed. Lolx. And and maybe a 20 inch or 26 inch TV should do just fine. Then I can put my PS2 and my DVD player below the TV, inside the TV bench... **I'm dreaming I know**

Then of course I must ask my "SPONSEROR" lar.. aka my father for his opinion. Initially he also donno y I change the outlook and I juz say "oO.. new outlook then makes one feel better mahz" although I know it's kinda bullshit. Then after that I started **hinting** to him that space in front of me abit "empty" arz..

Then wah kaoz. Kana scolded by him. Say I juz had my LASIK surgery. Then if I go put a TV in my room now I will need to wear spectacles again like wat 6 months later. Then I will waste the money I paid for LASIK and blah blah... And say the living room got TV y still need TV in room... Blah blah blah... HAIZ. Sumhow I expect my father to nag and stuff like that.. owellz, just have to wait and see...

But then horz. seriously, if don wan get short-sighted, I think best thing u don't use ur eyes lorz. You don't read books at all, don't use computer, don't watch TV, don't play console games and blah blah... Then like that 100% guarantee chop will never get short-sighted. Aiyaz, okay lar, I'm juz toking cock here, and my father will probably slaughter me if he reads wat I wrote here, although 99.9999999999999999999999999999% chance that he will never bump into my blog.

I'M SO FARKING SAD LAR....

ALL MY THOUSANDS OF SONGS.... ALL MY HUNDREDS OF PICTURES... ALL MY TENS OF PSP GAMES...

ALL GONE!!!!

Haiz. There's nth much I can do except to blame myself for being SO STUPID to accept the virus file. I have learnt my lesson the hard way. Argz.. Just feel so damn sad lar!

Haiz.

My comp has finally died and needs to be sent for repair. How I wish I can faster get a laptop when sch starts next yr so that I can like just switch between using the laptop and the house comp. And I think use laptop like quite fun also, although like abit hard to control. Arz.. Watever.

I must FORCE myself to go memorise all the stupid vocab. Argz.. But it's really senseless memorising. Sigh.

OMG lar. Just now I tried a 1997 JLPT paper. Wtf. I didn't even get 50% correct lorz. And best thing is the PASSING mark for JLPT is 240 marks out of 400 marks (which is min 60%)...

And it's 2 weeks till JLPT. O man, I have to STUDY harder!

Learn to be a good neighbour

Just as I was having lunch with my Mother and then after eating, when my mum went near to the kitchen window, she was like SCREAMING and quickly open the windows to keep all those "bamboo poles" inside the house. As the weather was quite sunny during that instant, I was quite puzzled so I went forward and asked her "Now raining arz?" Then she replied "No arz, you can just look up" So I looked up a little then realised that the unit above me, they hanged out the very wet clothes outside to dry, and it's DRIPPING so much water majiam it looked like it's raining.

So obviously I was like "WTF !!".

But to be frank, I NEVER bother finding out who are my neighbours living in the same block as me. Anyway, so I just asked my mother who's staying above, and she told me there's a young couple (seems to be in their late 20s) and like newly married, and they just employed a maid to look after as it seems the wife was pregnant. And better still, they just moved in last year, so they r pretty new here.

Okay, I also don't care they stay above my unit for 1 year or 10 years or 100000 years. The point is:

"HOW CAN THEY BE SO INCONSIDERATE?"

And so after digging out more info from my mother, she told me that apparantly before the wife got married, they didn't have a maid and it seems that perhaps they use washing machine to wash the clothes, that's why can squeeze out most of the water and so when you hang out the window to dry, it SHOULDN'T be like dripping ANY water. (Yaz, although I never use a washing machine b4, it seems like the case, since my mother has been doing housework for so many decades, so I think shld be like tt arz)

ANYWAY, then a few months ago when the wife got pregnant, then they employed a maid and the funniest thing is, THEY DON'T ALLOW THE MAID TO USE THE FARKING WASHING MACHINE. And so that explains why on MANY occasions, my family's clothes always kana the water from their SUPER WET CLOTHES.

This is FARKING RETARDED lar. Hello!? You don't allow your maid to use the washing machine, so obviously the the clothes when u hanged out to dry, it will still be farking wet lar. How can human hands be as efficient as the washing machine in terms of squeezing water out.

Okay, obviously after hearing all these, I know the maid wasn't really at fault. If really want to blame, must blame that couple that live above.

So after finding out all these info from my mum while she was trying to keep the clothes ASAP, I just took the house key and decided to storm out to confront the unit above me. Yaz, my mother told me that "Nvm lar, we are neighbours afterall. Just ren lorz" Wah laoz, such things how can ren 1? If it's like one or 2 times still okay. But then it has happened SO MANY times liaoz. This is indeed the last straw. I told my mother to stay in house, DON'T GO OUT, and I locked the house and went up one level.

I was fuming mad at that point. I pressed the doorbell of the neighbour and also immediately, the maid came to open the door. Then with her was 2 dogs (I donno wat species, but seems quite fierce) at the door there.

So of cuz first thing I asked was "WHERE'S YOUR MASTER OF THE HOUSE!?

Maybe I sounded abit fierce, and she told me she alone. So wellz, wat to do, I can't simply blast at the poor maid as afterall, she wasn't really at fault. She was just following her master's instructions. So I told her that I live in the unit below her andI say that HER CLOTHES ARE SO BLARDY WET THAT IT'S DRIPPING SO MUCH WATER ONTO MY CLOTHES. And of cuz I demanded that she quickly keep back the clothes as it's very inconsiderate to other ppl.

Anyway, it seems that the miad could understand my English and she keep apologizing to me. And after that I didn't even say "Bye" and just walked off with that "PISSED OFF" look. Talking about that 2 dogs... They seemed quite fierce as of ready to attack me anytime. I think all the dogs are like that lar, when they see strangers then will like that. Anyway, if the dogs WERE to attack me, I swear I will just whack the dogs until they become @#$%^&*

Whatever. Even if this results in some law case I also don't care.

And when I went back home, and very soon after, the maid really keep all the SUPER WET CLOTHES into her house. Finally. But then my mother also don want to put out again. She said wait sekali after awhile the maid bring out the clothes again. -_- Owellz, as I was in a rush for my driving lesson, I just told my mother to decide for herself then I went out liaoz.

Haiz. It gets very angry to have such neighbours. If today or tomorrow or some other day they do the same thing again, I'm gonna go up and CONFRONT that couple and scold them till they can LEARN to be considerate to the others. I don't care whether u r pregnant or whether you are some HIGH-CLASS person. If I'm really offened, then get ready for very nasty words that will come out from my mouth. And I mean it. So what even if I'm much younger than them. I also don't care.

Fuck sia. I think just now my friend sent me some virus and in turn I sent alot of virus to alot of other ppl in the MSN. The moment I saw alot of MSN window popping, then I was like "WTF" and I juz switched off the main switch immediately (That's the only thing I could think of...) Anyway, just hope that nobody kana the virus. Really fuck sia. HAIZ, To hell with all these virus.

But on a lighter note, I think that these few weeks have been quite slack. Or I mean very slack. If only things can stay like tt till I ORD then tt will be good. It's like 80 days till ORD. Seems quite far. But owellz, nvm. Countdown 3 weeks to Japan. To be frank, in my mind I think I didn't really think much abt this upcoming trip. I'm more concerned abt passing my JLPT though.. Haiz.. Which I think I'm like so CMI. Sucks. I think even if I really manage to get tt cert, it's because I'm "TYCO" enough to "tikam" the correct answers.

Sometimes I think I'm just plain lazy and want to "nua" but yet want to get result. Owellz, to be frank, if I next yr release result never pass my JLPT, I think I also will like "oO..like that lorz". But then I think when 2008 comes I must really force myself to MUG hard for my Japanese liaoz. If not is really very "CUI" lorz.

Haiz, I seriously think I SUCK big time in driving. Really CMI. And it's like I drive without consideration for safety. Gosh, I think even if I get my license next year, I will pose such a big road hazard and may just get into accident anytime lorz. Sighz.

And 91 days till ORD, equivalent to 13 weeks. Still a long way to go. And now is like 4 more weeks to Japan. And yaz, yesterday I FINALLY received the letter from JCS to inform me the details regarding my JLPT this coming 2nd Dec. And these few days I think I more or less get down to forcing myself to study as I don't wish to fail and partly due to me being lazy to do anything. Nvm, I still got 3 weeks or so to the exam. Study hard.

And I know I abit kiasu. On Monday and Tuesday, I actually spent like almost HOURS searching on the net regarding property/real estate/apartment rental in Japan, specifically Tokyo. Haiz, land prices in Japan are like so shocking lar... Gosh, it's like:

Can u imagine leaving in a house like ABOVE, no living room.. Just that the living room + room is combined as one big space. Then the kitchen in Orange and the toilet in blue.. And this cost like 80 000 Yen/Month equivalent to like S$1K per month. OMG lar.

And maybe a "slightly bigger" house for one person to stay. Also the same, one toilet + one room + one kitchen and that's like 85 000 yen/month, equivalent to S$1100 per month leh. Wah laoz, and seriously after like hours and days of searching, I think such prices are considered quite CHEAP already for leaving in Tokyo. There are so many more apartments which are about the same size but can easily costs like maybe 1.3K to 1.5K per month.

But then seriously, i think if one person stay is okay lar, quite big enough. I mean like aside from toilet and kitchen, in that small room.. You can put all ur clothese in the closet (in yellow colour) then maybe you will need:

1)One cupboard- For putting books and maybe some other rubbish.
2) One desk for writing and using computer + one chair

3) One bed (Over my dead body am I going to sleep on futon)
4) One TV lorz.

And I think all these will take up enough space already. But then again, I think maybe I will stay in such small apartment for the first 2 to 3 years when I still got no saving.

Okay lar, I know many of u must be thinking I'm day-dreaming again. But hey! It's still a dream afterall, and I will just work hard towards it. Maybe 4 yrs down the road in Nov 2011, which is like I will have graduated for a few months already, I will be in one area of Tokyo busy working my ass off>?

And hopefully when I look back, I can remember that I have such a dream before, and I shall make this dream come true no matter what.

BLOCK LEAVE

NEXT WEEK IS BLOCK LEAVE!!!!

Hahaz, but then the fact is... I have used up my all my leave for the upcoming Japan trip, so actually by right I'm not supposed to go on leave? But watever, I also don't care. Act blur lives longer.

And better still, I'm having duty next Friday (block leave), and I get to claim my OFF on the next next Friday. Omg, so shiok.

And before I know it, it's like ONE more month to JLPT4, and yet I still pretend as nth is gonna happen. Nvm, I shall make full use of the block leave to MUG intensively for my JLPT4 just in case I flunk it next month (which is most likely the case). And since I'm so free next week, perhaps I should just request for 2 or 3 driving lessons during the block leave week.. If not I think I'm like lagging so far behind...

And after the block leave, I will be left with 4 weeks to my way to Hokkaido. So fast, I realised that time has passed quite fast in these recent months. Nvm, it's like 3 more months. Finally. Lolx, But to be frank I still don't feel any sense of ORD-ing. Haiz. Nvm, just take one step at a time.

Last night was such a havoc at MoS!

The Halloween night party was kinda so-so only arz, seeing ppl dressed up in all sorts of weird weird costumes. Vampires, Devils, Angels, Zombies, Chinese Zombies, Witches, Wizards etc, u name it all. And not only that, ppl dressed up in Sailor-style Japanese costume, Kimono, Korean costumes, Samurais, Egypt, blah blah... Weird!

I know I CANNOT hold my liquor well for goodness, and my face turns red EVEN BEFORE I started drinking. So I juz drank like 3 glasses of vodka and THAT'S it. I know won't make me feel high, but I prefer to feel sober. Lolx. Like that might as well don't go club horz? Stayed till 5am before my friend's friend sent me back home on his Car. Gosh, so tired lorz.

And later I still got tuition. Fucks. I swear next time I'm NOT going to give tuition anymore, no matter how POOR my financial status can be next time as an undergrad. I think I should just work alot b4 Uni starts and during sch hols as well, so that I can have abit of saving to last me during my schooling days and then I don't have to end up in such a desperate state of having to juggle sch work and giving tuition. And actually the MOST important reason, as I mentioned in my previous post, is how LOUSY I am in teaching, and to prevent the KARMA of next time me getting a LOUSY lecturor/professor in Uni next time, I think it's indeed a "wake-up" call I shld stop "harming" ppl lorz. Fine. Treat this as a lesson learnt that teaching is not my forte.

Like maybe within 5 days I can end my misery of giving tuition liaoz. Gosh. Finally...

And talking about driving. Haiz, I feel that I'm such an IDIOT lorz. Don't even know how to drive properly. I think I will be those kind need alot extra lessons then can pass tt kind. Haiz. Sad.

Fine, 3 more months of duties. And I changed my Japan trip instead of late Dec to 10th Dec to 16th Dec.

Haiz, how I wish that O-levels can faster end. I think I nearly swear I'm not gonna give tuition forever in my whole life again. I'm not cut-out to be tutor lar. Wah kaoz, is like I teach arz, ppl can from pass become F9 lorz. Wtf. I think only a lousy tutor like me can be so kns. Fine. At least I know I can't teach for goodness sake, and I shall abandon the idea of doing relief teaching. It's a sure disaster for tt sch if I ever become relief teacher.

But I seriously feel like working in some Human Resource job next time when I work leh. Okay, I also donno y I like but I think it's quite fun. Nvm, I still got like 3 mths to PASS before I even consider all these.

I think I'm quite an idiot. Yesterday when I was in MRT, there was like 4 Japanese boys in MRT making a hell LOTS of noise talking in Japanese... I think they were just perhaps upper primary tt kind of age lar, cuz they look quite small size. Anyway, as I was wearing my uniform, then I got kinda IRRITATED that they were talking so loudly that I started staring at them, and I think one of them realised that I was staring at them.. And they started to lower their volume by ABIT lar. Then I donno wat else they were talking abt, then like the rest of them all like "pretend pretend" to look the fuck who the hell I am. Maybe they saying this idiot (me) keep staring at them. But it's the truth lar. Luckily they were only in the train for a few stations then drop off. Piangz, really lorz, I think it's very good if u can communicate a language that MAJORITY doesn't know, so next time u wan say smth ppl also donno wat u r toking abt.

Now talking abt Japanese. My Gosh, I think I'm like on a high risk of failing my JLPT. Nvm, I think my DYS1 also sure fail his JLPT1, not that I wanna suan him, but then he also never study much n summore like JLPT1 is kinda A-level standard lorz. Sure die.

I think I fantasize too much liaoz. I always keep dreaming that I'm in some Tokyo street carrying my suitcase, driving back home after a day of hard work. Then go home decided to watch those Japanese variety shows and then go to sleep. Then during weekend I will like go out with Japanese friends for shopping or a drink or watz. Fuck. I think I really think too far liaoz. Guess Japan may even not want to accept me if I migrate there lorz. Haiz.

硫黄島からの手紙

Letters from Iwo Jima

So just now I went to the VCD/DVD rental shop and happened to chance upon this excellent movie that I have been wanting to watch since a long time ago, but I keep procrastinating and so finally now I got to watch it! Hahaz.

For those who want a summary of the movie, can refer to below link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letters_from_Iwo_Jima

I don't know why izzit that I just get so emotional while watching this movie.. And I really respect that 20 000 odd Japanese soldiers that defended Iwo Jima even though they knew right from the beginning that they r fighting a "sure lose" battle and WITHOUT the support of the HQ in Tokyo which is so #$%^&*, can u imagine how desperate u will feel? Trapped in an ISOLATED island without much resources left and so much diseases spreading around then still must fight war. OMG lar, so sucks.

But as I watched the movie from sumwhere the middle until the end, whereby the Japanese commanders together with the men chose to COMMIT SUICIDE either by using the hand grenade to blow themselves up OR to use their own rifle to shoot themselves etc, rather then to surrender to enemies. Wah kaoz, really lorz, I think in the World only the Japanese will have such high loyalty and patriotism to their country and their Emperor. And towards the end when the General was badly injured and later he shot himself, the first class private soldier still like defended his corpse trying to KILL those American soldiers with his shovel even though he was like he was surrounded by 10+++ american soldiers pointing their rifles at him.

Okay lar, some may debate that this is juz a movie, so maybe abit "exagerrating", but then arz, the overall battle as well as several of the commanders are based upon actual people and events.
Then as I saw so many of the Japanese National and Military flag (the one at the right side of my blog) being hanged throughout the place, I just feel like GOING to Japan lorz. I think I mad liaoz. Even my family ppl think perhaps my previous life I was a Japanese. -_-'''

Haiz. How I wish indeed I am a Japanese citizen.

My this computer is farked-up lar. Make me like restart the comp like 10 times over and over again before it can function "NORMALLY". Wtf manz, I think must be the comp has too much virus liaoz.

Pissifying.

The POWER of MONEY

Yesterday I was waiting at the bus-stop outside my camp to take a bus to CCK MRT station when suddenly I saw one guy walking towards the bus-stop from the camp too...

Initially I thought I saw the wrong person only after a few seconds it took for me to adjust to the fact that someone has just fallen from grace. This guy used to be driving Merc or BMW Cars to camp very regualarly. But after having revoked his license for 1.5 years due to drunk driving, he has no other choice but to take public transport like many of us do. To him, he always feel that he has done NOTHING wrong even though it's quite clear cut he he has done wrong n needs to be punished. Using the excuse that he needs to FURTHER his studies to get his MASTER degree after NS is like a shield to help him reduced a supposedly "7 days SOL" to just a "7 days EXTRAs".

What does this show? The power of MONEY simply allows u to bend the rules and allow u to play thru the loopholes of all the rules and regulations. It's quite sad when u see that justice is not done against such ppl, but apparantly, there's nothing u can do. All u can do is to heave a sigh that who ask u to be forced to serve in this poor management organization whereby those ppl "up there" are just a bunch of idiots who are just so sick of doing the "right things" even though they know they should do, but in order to "save trouble + cover backside", they rather resort to ignorance and allow bad practices to flourish in the place. For these group of people "up there" are going to work for perhaps 20 years or more, would they risk their career for such trival stuff? But most importantly, I feel that it is because these small group of people have grown sick and tired of their jobscop that they can't be bothered to improve on the system. All they have in their mind is to serve for the sake of MONEY so that they can support their family, their spouse and children and parents etc.

In order to support the above-mentioned statement, I did ask around this "group of ppl" that's gonna work for like till they retire, and I asked them did they choose to work because of the interest or money, and it seems like almost 100% of them say that of cuz it's because of money due to circumstances to support their family/earn a living that's y they choose to pick this "iron rice bowl".

And what happenes as a result? These "large group of ppl" inclusive of me that's like just going to work in this organization for just 2 years suffer under the hands of these "minority group that works permenantly till they retire". What to do? I'm not a rich kid. If I am, I can choose to migrate and stuff like that, but too bad I am not. So what's the morale of the story again?

Money does make the world spins!

I was SOOOOOOOOOO bored that I rented 2 DVDs for watch just now. One was "Letters of death", a thai movie, then the other one was "Sinking of Japan". Hmmm.. Both are quite boring lorz. The horror movie was like not scary at all. Then the Japanese movie was like some documentary lorz, talking abt so much science n maths n technology. Omanz, I nearly fall asleep watching both....

But since I really have NOTHING to do, perhaps I should juz rent even more DVDs to watch.

Finally I have changed my blogskin after procrastinating for like so long. Generally I like this blogskin much bettter because I get to put youtube videos and get to see them clearly w/o compromising the size of it as compared to some blogskins that have like very narrow "space" for ppl to read. So this is definitely better. Although is more plain than before, but I guess it's much more organised and that's all that matters.

And I think it's time I get down to revising for my JLPT4 exam for goodness. I have not touched any Japanese matierials since like 2 months ago and now I'm only left with exactly 7 weeks till JLPT4. Hopefully there is still enough time to "mug" for my exam.

16 weeks or so till ORD. Seems like time is finally passing "abit faster".

Today's driving was like SOOOOOO MUCH better than the previous lessons. I was basically able to blend into the traffic well and I NEVER STALL ENGINE! Lolx. Hopefully can maintain or even become better in subsequent lessons...

So yesterday went to NTU go find Jingwen. Haiz, I'm such a BAD navigator, don't even know where is where, just playing merry-go-round. Basically when I was in the NBS block, there were like so many students occupying all the study benches in the "study rooms" and all busy mugging lorz. Okay arz, I think exams coming liao arz. Then everyone was like walking just so fast, then I think I was like some "lao ah pek" strolling n looking around lorz. Indeed I could feel that the pace of life is very fast in university, compared to the SLACK tpjc. I go there a few hours I could feel the "pressure/stress" just by looking at the other students lorz, let alone of I am really one of them. And I come to one conclusion: "I don't look forward to Uni!" Life's gonna be tough and sianz when back to those MUGGING life.

Then later went to the NTU popular bookstore near the NBS block there. Basically ALL the university textbooks regardless what courses are being sold there. As Jingwen was showing me some of the "potential" TBs that I will be using next time, WAH KAOZ LORZ, it's like so wordy. Cuz I basically just flip the textbooks quickly n see lots n lots of WORDS and ENDLESS graphs + maths equations, with VERY LITTLE pictures lorz. Wah laoz, I was expecting maybe can be like alot of pictures but sadly don't have. And of cuz the ENGLISH that they use in those accouting/finance textbooks were like @#$%^&*(. I think I will need to use Longman dictionary very often next time. And the fact that my English has like worsened tremendously while in Army interacting with all the brainless assholes, considering as well that my English is already like FAILED standard before army. Gosh, I think next time I will have difficulty communicating with most ppl in Uni, and I will need to like read the lect notes 20 times over and over again before I can understand?

Haiz. Can't I just nua forever?

Today's 2nd driving lesson was like hmm...

The instructor said we shall learn at Changi (SAF Terminal) there.. Okay, fine. So I hopped onto his car n he barely drove for like 5 minutes when he reached just outside of TJC. Then he asked me to get out n then take over for the rest. I was like "WAH LAOZ, so many vehicles, sure die"

Anyway, I really DREAD stopping car at the junction because I'm like so "GOOD" at making the engine stall. Gosh. So everytime I just pray for green light. Okay lar, I ended up stalling the engine 2 or 3 times only, NOT as bad as during my first lesson. The route from bedok to EXPO, passing the industrial estates and towards changi was like so @#$%^&*

As you all know, talking abt industrial estate, obviously u will expect those SUPER BIG vehicles carry donno tons of sand to keep driving around tt place. So yaz, it was quite scary to be driving past these vehicles lorz, like anytime if there's really a collision, of course me n my instructor will die first, since my vehicle is like SO SMALL compared to theirs.

And I realised that I take like AGES to start my engine at the junction whe the green light appears, and making ppl behind me HORNING at me if not they simple juz change lane looking at how freaking SLOW I'm driving. QUite pek cek when want to move off at junction lar. If release too fast the engine stall. If I release TOOOOOOOOOO slowly then ppl behind me will be like horning at me. Sucks. I think I really must learn to train myself in this part.

And as my intructor mentioned, he say I got ALOT of energy but pls drive gently. When I change the gear clutch, I was like so violent until majiam the whole gear lever is gonna get pulled out by me. Then when my instrutor suddenly asked me to stop by the side, I will juz turn the signal then I drive to the side road and "ZAM" the whole brake as if I'm gonna knock into smth in front, and obviously that leads to me and my instructor leaning forward by SO MUCH. This is BAD BAD BAD lorz. Maybe starting I was too tensed lar, cuz towards the 2nd half of the lesson, I was able to brake quite smoothly. Lolx. And when I left-turn, I'm able to make the turn by myself but I basically land up in some other lane. Wah kaoz, and of cuz I must LEARN that I must always turn towards the correct lane and not happy happy juz go to any lane although there's no car approaching.

And when I finally drove past SAF terminal, I was like reminded of army. Nvm, then I continued driving to changi village there then sumhow I landed myself at Selarang Camp. -_-''' Donno y I keep passing-by so many camp premises. Then I drive back to somewhere at Expo there again before my driving instrutor say we shall call it a day and we switch back. FInally lorz. I was like so happy when the lesson ends and the instructor took over. But the instructor was telling me I was "better" than some of his female students at my current progress. Wahhaz, donno true anotz. I think is cuz I too violent liaoz, then I juz dare to do anything tt my instructor asked me to do as compared to some gals who r simply juz scared to do anything that he instructs, according to him. Lolx.

And as my friends were telling me a few months ago, when u start learning driving, u will tend to keep going to cars websites and look at all those brand new stylish cars wishing that u own them. N yes, that was what I do basically this WHOLE saturday afternoon, looking at all the Honda, Toyota, Nissan and many other car websites... And looking at the car images juz make me feel so "high" lar. But when I looked at the price, it basically knocked me back to reality; "WEI YANG, STOPE DAY-DREAMING FOR GOODNESS SAKE". Haiz.

As according to the new immigration procedure for entering Japan, all foreigners entering Japan starting next month will need to be fingerprinted and photographed at the immigration control.

http://www.immi-moj.go.jp/english/keiziban/happyou/Outline_070925.pdf

Haiz. What a hassel.

Some officers are just damn mother fucker.

From morning 8am to 5pm, WHOLE day I so free then don wan to give me work. Fine, so basically I was just wasting time away the WHOLE day and waiting for 5pm to come so I can just book out.

Then came 5pm and I was getting ready to BOOK OUT when suddenly one officer saw me and my friend and say "Hey, I need the 2 of u to help me do up SOME charts(it's like 60 of charts). I need u all to go print out from the comp, go blow up to A3 size, go and laminate, then go and cut away the excess blank portion to save space and then to paste on the cardboard and then to punch holes and tie them up."

Basically my jaws dropped.

Can u farking imagine 2 person doing up like 60 charts. Fucks man. And thanks to him, I missed my dinner, working from 5pm straight till 12am until I finally just FINISHED up these whole damn boards. And my friend went back first at 11pm even though it was very late but since he lives nearby so it's okay. And of cuz it's quite reatrded if I were to go back becuz firstly no one would be left to help out and travelling from Lim Chu Kang to Kembangan at such hours is no joke. And best of all, that officer simply just left at like 9+pm to go have his rest leaving the 2 of us to rot. Omanz, fucker. Never even bother to help out and ask how r we doing. Only know how to laugh and smile when u approach ppl for help. Nabei. Go to hell man. Next time I will just siam siam SIAM away from this particular officer. I think ALL the officers can do such work themselves EXCEPT him.

And today I just got 2 more extra duties. O fucks. Why am I so suay nowadays? Haiz, but to be frank, I wasn't really "sad" when I know I sign extras. No, not tt I love getting extras. But then the thought of just 4 blardy more months gives me some kind of "self-consolation". As I was thinking, since it's just 4 more months, I shld just let them whack me with lotsta duties, wan to squeeze me DRY or watz I also don care. Burn my weekends lorz. I shall tahan till Feb and fark off.

Want me to make it compulsory some ORD dinner and pay $120? Fine, I will pay. But over my dead body will I attend such retarded function.

First Driving Lesson

So I had my FIRST driving lesson just now. -_-'''

Okay arz, the place where I had my lesson was pretty good as there's basically NO vehicles around and I got to practise driving w/o fear of ppl horning n cursing at me. So first lesson was basically learning to move off, changing gear from 1 to 3, and learning to stop the vehicle. I think I must learn to be more gentle with my force, as throughout the lesson, the instructor was like telling me I step SO HARD on the brake as if I "buey song" or watz. Piangz. I didn't expect the brake and accelerator to be "so sensitive" lorz.

Just like anyone who started learning, u know, I committed the mistake of "engine stall" while starting off many times until I think the instructor was also quite "pek cek" with me. But towards the end, I was able to fine-tune my legs movement to prevent such thingyi from happening. And ya, I realised that I like got hearing problems when the instructor talk to me. Driving round and round the road that encloses the Singapore Indoor STadium + Big Carpark is so much fun. But when I was like told to drive around there almost like 10 times, I was like so sianz 1/2 cuz is basically playing "merry-go-round" seeing the same old things. And yaz, I ALWAYS forget to put my signal until my instructor must remind me like so many times when making turns.

And the GREATEST error of all that I made today, I can actually remove my hands from the steering wheel while switching my direction signal indicator. Piangz. This is so jialat lar. And ever since then, I forced myself to HOLD the steering wheel so tightly throughout the rest of my driving until the instructor was like telling me to relax arz, the steering wheel is not gonna fly off or anything. But overall, I think I was more or less able to "condition" my legs when moving off or stoping. And yes, I MUST REMEMBER THAT MY LEFT LEG SHOULDN'T BE USE FOR STEPPING ON BRAKE PEDAL, IT IS SOLELY FOR CLUTCH PEDAL!!!

God knows how I pass my Final Theory Test. Next lesson this coming Saturday Morning.

O yeah... Japan has a new prime minister; Yasuo Fukuda after like 10+ days w/o a leader...

Okay lar, I know is NONE of my business.. But then.. I'm just so "Kaypo" when comes to news regarding Japan....

And also the recent protests tt's going on in Myanmar, haiz, being someone who had been there to do CIP programme before, it's quite sad to see such things happening in the country. I mean as all know, when such politics/military issues are concerned, the most innocent are all the ordinary citizens who just wish that they can be treated fairly like most other countries in the world. Kaoz, who on earth will be able to accept like almost 500% increase in fuel price...(According to some sources if I didn't read wrongly) This is so nonsensical lar... But it's just happened the military govt in Myanmar is so @#$%^&*.... Okay, nvm, enough said, but I really hope tt Myanmar will be able to overcome this crisis asap w/o any delap and much casualties...

I realised that as you grow older and start to understand how politics work in many nations, it just makes me feel how chaotic this world is. How useless bums can ruin the management of an organization and then create so much trouble for so many. But afterall, it's not tt some BIG organization is that fantastic. **cough**

So after passing my final theory test at comfort just npw, I quickly went to apply my PDL which cost me $25.. And then to book my practical test which cost me another $20.

I will be taking my practical test on 22/02/08 @ 11am... And that's like about 5 more months down the road... Haiz, still a long way to go. But good thing is I will have ORD-ed for 2 weeks by tt time, so no need to bother abt taking wat leave or off... So now it's time to start learning practical lessons and hope to get my license ASAP, although I feel I may be quite retarded in handling motorcars and the driving instructor will vomit out much blood.. But whatever it is, just hope tt I can smoke my way thru during my test next yr...

And now... I think this singer is one big chio-bu! Especially when Mengyang and SHaowei also agree....

How many times must I repeat myself?

I"M NOT HAVING SORE EYE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I repeated at least 100 times to so many ppl that this is NOT sore eye BUT is juz a blood clot. And obviously it's NOT gonna spread to anyone like some conjuctivites/sore eye outbreak. Haiz, n it really gets on my nerve when ppl can actually "ENCOURAGE" me to go see the MO for my sore eye when obviously it's not. Maybe next time I shld juz get a tape recorder n keep playing "I DO NOT HAVE SORE EYE!!!"

-_-'''

And fucks, I became some Figure 11 target board again. Sumtimes I wonder do I have that "Pls! I wan VOLUNTEER for next weekend duty tt kind" Haiz, but on consideration it's like 4++ months more, I shall endure it all. As my friends say, the MORE duty u do, the CLOSER it is towards ORD....

140 more days till ORD<>

And my 3 days MC come to an end which mean I gotta book in later. Haiz, sianz. And next week I'm gonna have my Final Theory test. Gosh, I think I may fail cuz I seriously don't understand the operating of clutch and stuff. Whatever, I shld juz MEMORISE everything this coming weekend n then next week Monday juz vomit out everything + anyhow "ti-kam" the answers.

And of all time, my mp3 player is DOWN. @#$%^&*. Haiz, I donno if it's really spoil or I juz did smth stupid to it that cause it be mal-functioning. I believe it's the latter, as u know, I'm quite an idiot when comes to handling electronics devices... I donno how I'm gonna survive the LONG journey back home next time when I return home from camp. -_-''' I think maybe I shld juz get sum low-memory(perhaps 2GB or 1GB) + cheap MP3 player to "stand-in"...

As many ppl know, almost like 90% of the ppl are gonna ORD in Nov/Dec, and tt's like SO FAST. Haiz, okay, actually I do feel jealous tt they ORD so fast, but then they enlist earlier mahz, so must understand. For those ORD-ing next yr like me, HAIZ, wait till yr 2007 ends before we can even "smell" ORD.... "20 weeks O 20 weeks........"

And regarding my eyesight now, it has been improving in my opinion with each passing day. (Other than that BIG blood clot on my left eye tt is getting me disgusted when I look at the mirror) But like what the doc and any lasik websites say, my vision MAY still continue to fluctuate all the way till as long as 6 MONTHS. But likewise, sum ppl can have stable eysight like as soon as within 2 weeks to 1 month after the Operation. Haiz, actually I do get quite pek-cek sumtimes when I use the comp for long hours. Sumtimes can see clearly, and then graudally it becomes abit blurry and then after awhile it gets clear again. But nevertheless, at least I don't have to squaint my eyes and can see as clearly even though I try keep my body as far back as possible. Hopefully things go well till I see my Doc on 1st Oct for my review...

Post-LASIK

So 24 hrs after the operation, just now I went back for my first review to check my eye power and also see whether got infection anotz.

Ta-da!

According to my Doc, he say now my eyesight is 25 deg each, which means I have recovered almost 95% of my eyesight juz within 24 hr! That's quite amazing as I didn't really expect recovery to be tt fast. However, as the Doc say, most probably I will take another 1 week or at most 2 weeks to regain my perfect eyesight arz.

And so my next review will be in 2 weeks time, in which the Doc will check my eyesight again. Hopefully by then the Doc can juz tell me my vision is perfect! As of now, it's juz taking good care of my eyes to prevent any infection as my eyes are still in the process of healing....

Actually right now, almost my lifestyle has been back to normal. I can use the computer, watch the TV, read books etc etc pretty well, not much of a problem (afterall, it's only 25 deg now) But then still must take good care mahz. Like I've been wearing my sun-glasses while using the comp as the comp light abit "glaring", maybe cuz my eyes juz after Opseration still sensitive to light...

So of cuz, there are some things which I must get used to... Such as like waking up in the morning searching BLINDLY for my spectacles (which became an involuntary action since like 10 yrs ago) only to realised I don't need spectacles anymore! And of cuz, things like to see the alarm clock clear n sharp from my bed which has never been the case since like one decade ago... Okay lar, there's just so much inconvenience in being myopia that I'm lazy to list them down. But basically, I'm juz happy and satisfied with my current situation. From almost half a blind man being turned into someone with perfect eyesight (wait 1-2 more weeks) after one simple operation. I just feel "less-like-a-handicap" now...

And also, 3 days of MC to rest my eyes and so I'll go back camp only on Thursday. I'm so gonna enjoy this long break......

LASIK

So for some who know, ya, I'm going for my lasik surgery or I mean I went for it juz now. Everything happened so fast yesterday and today.

Yesterday, I basically underwent a battery of eye tests which include shining white light, green light, red light, and I donno what other kinds of kind. And likewise, my eyes were given solution that can make my eyes numb and and then soulution that can dilate the pupils and some that can reverse the process of dilation. In short make my eyes look so blur only.

I spoke to the doctor in the end, and he had no issue doing a surgery for me as my eyes basically met ALL the requirements for the surgery.

So today morning was the "Grand Finale" as I made myself down to the Clinic. I was slightly nervous when I was made to wear the operation suit. And I was quite nervous when my turn came and I was being led into the operation room. However, I think everything ended so fast than what I thought it's gonna take. The Doc basically tried to keep me distracted and keep encouraging to not make my imagination run wild.

Actually I also donno really know what happened. I mean ya, u ppl can easily go to any LASIK website to read the operating procedure, and mine is basically the same. I simply HATE the part when he use this suction ring to put on my eye before cutting off my cornea partially. And straight after that, he added some donno wat solution which basically cause me to BLACK-OUT for like 10 seconds before I could physically see him "lift" off my cornea. And suddenly the whole room turns dark and I only saw one red blinking light. Nah, that's not the laser, but juz smth to keep u focus on. Then I was made to keep my eyes to CONCENTRATE looking at that red blink light and I could hear some "screeching" metal sound n I could SMELL burning.. Wah kaoz, but like I said, all these are common so there's nth to be scared of what u smell/hear. And before I knew it, the Doc basically flip my cornea back and took out tt suction ring (ouch!)

And he repeats the same old thing for my left eye and basically the whole operation took me abt 15 minutes as I looked at my watch. That's real fast.

So soon after I had both eye shields up covering my eyes and I was discharged immediately from there, which I reach there at 93oam and left there at 1100am, which was way earlier than what I had expected.... Tomorrow Sunday morning still must go back for a 24 hr-after-op-review, which the Doc will check my eye power and to see if there's any complications on it.

So as I was typing out this entry, I was without my glasses nor contact lens. And I could see relatively well even though I try to sit as backwards as possible.

Phew, I think I already recovered abt 80% or more of my eyesight liaoz.

Open Office course was SO boring. And my instructor(teacher) for this 2 days course, he was TEACHING these courses as a way to SERVE his re-service.

OMG LAR!!!!!!

This is so farking unfair. Kaoz, then I wish I can replace re-service with juz any thingyi. But sadly, I'm skilled in nothing. I donno Music, I donno IT/Computing, I donno Martial Arts, I donno this, I donno that. I everything also donno. Haiz. But nvm, whatever~.

So excited as I see the countdown towards ORD draws nearer and nearer. From 300++ days become the current 150+ days.

Recently I spent $30 on a FINAL FANTASY 12 GUIDEBOOK (Okay, I know ppl must be thinking how lousy can I get for playing game still need guidebook) But the fact is, this FF is really demn freaking hard to play lar! Okay lar, other than FF8 which I used guidebook as well, I didn't use guidebook for FF7, FF9, FF10 and FFX-2.... So yaz, currently I'm starting on this new game FF12 in my PS2. But as I look at the guidebook (so super thick) and then the fact I only get to play on weekend... I guess I can only complete this game perhaps in Nov or Dec? But nvm lar, not that I rushing to complete this game....

Going for some redundant OPEN OFFICE workshop tml and on Fri although it's quite retarded that course. (and it's not that I will be using OPEN OFFICE ever in my whole life after I ORD)

I donno why I juz feel so so happy ever since last week Monday till now. That feeling is so shiok, as if my depleting energy has been fully replenished. After all, so what if I'm given the right to stay-out? Most probably I will rather choose to stay in camp than to go home everyday. I think everybody says that I am MAD to rather stay-in, although can go home... But.. Whatever lar, afterall, staying in camp is not really a BAD idea arz.....

Life's GoOooooooooD~!! (I hope can last till my Japan trip in end of the yr)

Fucks man. Whenever I'm on LEAVE or OFF, I swear I can't really relax in peace. Definitely I know sum bad things will happen. And as I said, I received a SMS from my friend that I must do COS duty this coming SUnday although I donno who the hell is supposed to do. O fucks lar. If not ppl must KEEP calling or SMS-ing u to ask abt things.

SMLJ man.

And yes, finally I went down to JCS to register and pay for my JLPT exam. But I registered for JLPT4. Lucky I didn't register for level3 the other time. The reason is becuz I was trying out some of the "tys" for the JLPT3... WAH KAOZ lar, I majiam 90% donno how to do. This is so bad lar. -_-''' But then when I tried out JLPT4 it was still okay lorz, so yalar, for what make myself so stressed up!>? I should just take my own sweet time in studying for JLPT4 exam.. Although the syallbus only requires u to know 80 kanji and abt 800 words....

Okay arz, I should be able to pass JLPT4 lar... Wahahaz, but is becuz it is literally 50% the content of JLPT3 exam... But if fail arz, I really shld just stop learning Japanese n start learning alien language/.

オレンジレンジ; O-re-n-ji Re-n-ji

花びらのように散りゆく中で
夢みたいに　君に出逢えたキセキ
愛し合って　ケンカして
色んな壁　二人で乗り越えて
生まれ変わっても　あなたのそばで　花になろう

いつまでもあるのだろうか　オレの真上にある太陽は
いつまでも守りきれるだろうか　泣き　笑い　怒る君の表情を
いずれ全てなくなるのならば　二人の出逢いにもっと感謝しよう
あの日　あの時　あの場所のキセキは
また　新しい軌跡を生むだろう

愛することで強くなること　信じることで乗り切れること
君が残したモノは今も胸に　ほら輝き失わずに
幸せに思う　巡り会えたこと　オレの笑顔取り戻せたこと
「ありがとう」あふれる気持ち抱き　進む道程

花びらのように散りゆく中で
夢みたいに　君に出逢えたキセキ
愛し合って　ケンカして
色んな壁　二人で乗り越えて
生まれ変わっても　あなたに逢いたい

花びらのように散ってゆく事
この世界で全て受け入れてゆこう
君が僕に残したモノ
“今”という現実の宝物
だから僕は精一杯生きて　花になろう△

花はなんで枯れるのだろう
鳥はなんで飛べるのだろう
風はなんで吹くのだろう
月はなんで　明かり照らすの

何故ボクはココにいるんだろう
何故キミはココにいるんだろう
何故キミに出逢えたんだろう
キミに出逢えた事　それは運命

雨上がり　虹架かり　青あらしに生まれし光
ここにゆるぎない大切な物
気づいてる“愛する”ということ
まだ歩けるだろう?見えてるんだもう
“想い”時を越え　永遠に響け君の喜び　
君の痛み　君の全てよ
さぁ　咲き誇れ　もっと　もっと　もっと

私はこの歌を好む! オレンジレンジ の歌.... オレンジレンジは 沖縄からある... 少数の日前に 私の友人は私に言った...

JLPT3 !!!

A wasted trip down to JCS last Friday. (The main place in Singapore to register for JLPT) I went all the way to Bugis, and it happened that place is juz opposite NAFA and National library, so okay lar, not that far from MRT station but still.....

And wah kaoz, then juz to take the REGISTRATION form also need to pay S$1. Haiz. Nvm, n worse is I'm supposed to bring 2 photos of mine and attach to the registration form. @#$%^&* So I juz bought the registration form and brought back home n waited till yesterday to take my pic. Haiz, and I think this coming Fri I shall go down to JCS AGAIN to hand in the form plus pay S$25 for the exam...

O Yaz, haiz, I donno y, but perhaps cuz my friends who's taking JLPT3 has been psychoing me to take JLPT3, toking abt how useless n easy JLPT4 is...blah blah... Lolx.. Although I know I not up to the standard, but okay lar, as from now I still got abt 3 months and so to fully drill on my JLPT3 stuff... And hence... meaning I think I shld juz TRY my luck for JLPT3 this yr (if fail at the most next yr try again lorz.)

But then seriously, to prepare for this JLPT3 exam, I think I really sacrifice alot. I went to Kinokuniya to buy those "past years JLPT3 papers" aka "TYS" as commonly known in Singapore education context. And I also went to buy those grammar/comprehension book and also the kanji/vocab book for JLPT3. And yaz, all these books total up cost me a BOMB. Okay, money sacrifice aside, I think I literally spend my WHOLE block leave + weekends juz mugging n memorising those verbs/adjectives blah blah... Haiz, hope to be able to memo most of these commonly used words b4 the exam takes place on 2nd Dec 2007.

Haiz, I think I can only score in paper1, which apparantly I think is the easiest, cuz is Vocab paper and all u need to do is MEMORISED all the verbs/kanji and vomit them out. Paper2 is gone case; LISTENING COMPREHENSION. Gosh, as if I'll understand their bullet-speed talking. And paper 3, which constitutes 50% of the WHOLE exam (that's ALOT lar!) is the Grammar paper. All the grammar particles n stuff. Haiz, I think my grammar CMI lar. I always confused with the "ni", "ga", "o", "de" etc etc. I can never seem to understand grammar, be it Japanese or English or Chinese. But still... Must try to score.. Haiz..

I juz really really hope I can pass this coming JLPT3 exam! I don want to like put in SO MUCH time and effort and practise etc and when next yr 2008 March they send the result to my house there'a a big 'FAIL" in the result slip! Haiz, then I will be so disappointed....

Japan!!!

So juz now my parents went to book our holiday tour at CHan Brother's tour fair liaoz.

7 Days of Tohoku and Hokkaido.

19th Dec 2007 to 25th Dec 2007 (CHRISTMAS!!!!)

But first day from Singapore fly to Tokyo then straight away domestic flight to Hokkaido. Argz.. I don understand y SIngapore doesn't seem to have direct flights to Hokkaido...

Luckily there's NO more mid-night flights, unlike those that I used to take whenever we r goin Japan. Phew, can have a good rest b4 we set off for Airport.... I just PRAY that I will be able to see snow again... I mean snow falling from the sky, NOT those already HARDENED and dirty snow that u found on the road... -_-'''

Bleahz! I'm so excited for this Japan trip! Hahaz... 4 more months, hopefully I can keep thinking of this trip to keep my morale high to last me till 19th Dec. Lolx...

O fucks man. All along I was so HAPPY that I'm gonna be on a LONG block leave....

Then suddenly they realised that it's impossible to have a manpower branch NOT working for one week or more. Hence, 50% will go on leave and then another 50% will stay.

Damn. So I will still need to go back next Mon to Wed. HAIZ. And so now my 6 days leave will be scattered into 3 parts. Wtf man, how pathetic can tt be. But nvm, suck thumb, used to it liaoz.

Sumtimes I think my superiors are so good ppl. They allow some people to go for their BLOCK LEAVE before they 100% confirm charge them 7 days SOL. Some ppl juz deserved it. And fuck, u think u in market bargaining izzit? "I rather take 7 extras than 7 SOL"

WTF lar!! Doing HQ COS is SO RELAX! EVERYTHING IS DUTY CLERK DO 1. Kaoz, u serve 7 days EXTRAs, if I'm the one I think also NO KICK lar. U think I never do weekend COS meh>? Juz morning 8am sleep until 930pm then go staff parade then come back return back to bunk n sleep until next day 8am. Like that how to make u feel the pinch?

And everyone also know y u rather take 7 extras then 7 days SOL. Of course lar, DEGREE GRADUATE leh. Ppl so SMART and HIGH estab lorz. U think like me or majority of the ppl meh? Either one farking pathetic A-level cert or Diploma? How can we compare to a DEGREE student like u? SO what? Degree student can't afford to get charged? O fucks lar, go to hell man. I've been waiting this day for so long already. And perhaps by the time u get charged I also won't be around to CELEBRATE, but nvm, at least I'll know. Yes, u derserved it.

So long nv blog liaoz.

So I'll be on block leave from 9th Aug to 19th Aug; 11 days of break. So this month will pass quite fast... Luckily no duties in this period of time. Haiz, maybe such break is good, can make me stay away from camp temporarily. Just 6 more months to ORD. But seems like still a long way to go leh... Haiz... So sick of having to see some people in daytime, then NIGHT time also have to see, then wake up early in the morning also see. Wtf man. But wellz, getting used to it liaoz. Luckily I have my beloved PSP to keep me company.

Tomorrow will mark the last lesson of my Japanese course; Lesson 30. After like 10 weeks of lessons every Monday, I think I also don't really absorb much during lesson. It's like doing all the shit makes me so tired liao then after tt night time go for 3 hours of lesson. Kaoz, cannot lar. My brain cannot take it. I think I study in weekend better.. So I shall discontinue lesson31 to 40...

The next public holiday after National Day is Hari Raya. WAH PIANGZ. Still so LONG to go.....

Haiz. My life is so boring. Nth to blog abt. Sianz 1/2...