I need advice

Haiz. I really don't wish to study in NTU or NUS or SMU. What's the point of studying in Singapore when everything that I study will be Singapore-based. What's the use of studying in Singapore if perhaps a S'pore Uni Degree may not be "as good" as compared to a Japanese Uni Degree in Japan(I mean in terms of finding a job). And best is why shld I serve f***ing 2 years when I don't intend to work here.

Nvm, I will find a way out. I don't believe that I CANNOT get into a Uni that I want. Even if let's say I have to work for 2 years full-time to earn money to pay for my Uni fees next time, I think I will. Even if I have to loan money from foreigh bank for my sch fees, I think I will. Even if I have to start school at the age of 23 or 24, I think I will. And even if I have to go for a one year Intensive Language Course prior to studying at Uni, I think I will.

Perhaps I should really consult the Japanese Embassy this coming Friday. And then I have to start going to different Univerisity websites to check for admission. Check the tuition fees will cost how much. Check cost of accomodation. Enquire for whether got loans or stuff anotz. Check for the different kind of Visa application. Luckily they have this "Studying in Japan consulting session" at the Embassy every Friday.

Haiz. Some of my camp friends were shocked that I like make such a "mad" thinking. But then it's like for those who know me since sec sch, should know that I really LOVE Japan alot larz. Even if I can't study in Japan, at the end of it I think I will still go to work in Japan lorz. Either way I also won't stay in Singapore. My parents also abit "pissed" with my decision when I propose to them abt my plan. Not really pissed lar, but they just say that I very "unrealistic" and stuff. Haiz, it's so demn sad to hear these from my parents lar. Haiz, but at the end of it, my father say if I can come out with a "detailed proposal" and show him, then I can carry-on from there and discuss. And now that I'm gonna ORD soon, I think it's really time I start planning and stuff like that.

Actually as I was telling my parents, even if I were to study in SIngapore Uni, I will confirm also enrol into Japanese course, and then I will also CONFIRM put my Japanese Language Course before my Uni work. EVen if I get wat C or D grades for my all my modules, I THINK I WILL still choose to put more time on Japanese Language. And of cuz I think my parents nearly vomitted blood talking to me. Like my parents said, they SERIOUSLY think that I "reincarnated" into the wrong country. I think so too.

But my parents really warn me that if I were to go Japan, then they won't expect me return till I have some accomplishment. Haiz, of cuz arz, I man can't possible that I spent so much of my parents' money and then after 1 or 2 yrs drop-out. Wah laoz, like that I will be no difference from thrash man. So I swear if I really CAN get the oppotunity to study in Japan, I will REALLY cherish 100% of my time to study. Even if I have to study 15 hours a day to understand, I think I will. Even if I have to give up all my entertainment and free time to do well, I will. Even if I have to start learning EVERYTHING from scratch in Japanese, I will. Even if I have to retake perhaps my "A-levels" standard pre-u entrance test in Japanese, ranging from learning knowing to do differentiation & integration to doing calculating mole concept to writing an essay on photosynthesis to calculating voltage and current and ALL in Japanese, I think I will be willing to put in the hard work, IF I am given the chance.

And of course, my parents told me if I were to make this decision, I will have to learn to solve ALL problems myself. No family, no relatives, no friends to seek help. Having to use Japanese in my everyday lifestyle, from going to supermarket to buy stuff to interacting with neighbours to watching TV shows/listening to radio programmes, ALL in Japanese. Of course, it really needs a high level of tolerance in order to maintain the "sainity" when all things fail. What happens if suddenly I face BIG financial problems, then kana chased out by the landlord. Then maybe I to sleep in the streets of Tokyo? And I have to do housework ALL myself. No more "mother-cum-maid" to cook for me, to wash my clothes, to clean the house, as my mother said. Of course, my parents have to LET me know the harsh reality of going Japan to study.

And at the end of the day, I have to admit that my life studying in Japan will not be a bed of rose. But wellz, if I have choose to take this route, then there will be NO turning-back. To be frank, I have been quite stressed just having to find out info and do planning and stuff. And of cuz money is a BIG issue. It's not as if S'pore govt will sponser me to Japan to study. And my GREATESR nightmare is what if I cannot even enter Japan Uni based on my horrendous A-levels result or sekali I study one or 2 yrs then I really cnt understand Japanese then kana kicked out due to my "not-that-bright" brain. Ogosh, that will so terrible lar.

HAIZ. And I also donno whether I can make it to GOOD uni like University of Tokyo or Osaka Univerisity or Kyoto Unversity. Sekali I kana some donno wat "kns" uni then also NO POINT lorz. If not sekali at the end of the day my parents die die don wan let me study in Japan I also die. Haiz. Can anyone advise me? I really need someone to talk to. Haiz.