FARK LAR!!!
WHY I NEED TO BOOK IN LATER 8AM WHEREBY MY FRIEND WHO ALSO ATTEN C ON SUNDAY GET TO BOOK IN AT 9PM !? ARGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!
AM I JUUST FARKING SUAY OR WHAT!?
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Fark my unit. So juz now I went to CGH to collect my medicine, becuz it's not available in alexandra hosp, so I need to go CGH collect. Nvm, so I've been having quite a terrible runny nose these few days and so I was thinking since I'm at the hosp, I might as well go see the doctor and get some flu medicine. Okay, so it's juz some normal flu n I'll need to stay at home today and tml to rest, if not I will need to carry lots of tissue paper with me wherever I go. So I'm on atten C for 2 days.
Then I realised I need to book in tonight becuz there's 'live firing' tml (which I'm excused n I donno wat the hell I go back for.) Anyway, so I called back my coy line to tell the COS abt my new status, and I got farked.
Conversation :
Me: I'm on atten C, for today and tml, so may I know what time I need to book in tml(sun)?
COS: Do u know that OC has passed the rule that no1 is allowed to take MC outside camp?
Me: I donno... cuz I wasn't in camp this whole week, n I had no choice but to go outside camp to see doc.
COS: Wellz, whatever it is, u juz report back in camp tml 8am.
Me: But I thought the rule is that unless my MC is 3 days or more, if not I no need to come back camp to endorse it? Since mine is only 2 days, I thought I juz need to go back camp till my MC expires?
COS: @#$%^&*@#$%^&* No! U come back tml morning at 8am!
Me: Okay, I'll book in tml at 8am.
**Hung up the phone**
As the saying goes : "Lan lan SUCK THUMB!"
Then I realised I need to book in tonight becuz there's 'live firing' tml (which I'm excused n I donno wat the hell I go back for.) Anyway, so I called back my coy line to tell the COS abt my new status, and I got farked.
Conversation :
Me: I'm on atten C, for today and tml, so may I know what time I need to book in tml(sun)?
COS: Do u know that OC has passed the rule that no1 is allowed to take MC outside camp?
Me: I donno... cuz I wasn't in camp this whole week, n I had no choice but to go outside camp to see doc.
COS: Wellz, whatever it is, u juz report back in camp tml 8am.
Me: But I thought the rule is that unless my MC is 3 days or more, if not I no need to come back camp to endorse it? Since mine is only 2 days, I thought I juz need to go back camp till my MC expires?
COS: @#$%^&*@#$%^&* No! U come back tml morning at 8am!
Me: Okay, I'll book in tml at 8am.
**Hung up the phone**
As the saying goes : "Lan lan SUCK THUMB!"
Friday, July 28, 2006
"I juz have to say I'm stupid and I do things w/o thinking thru my brain (if I have 1 in the 1st place) and I'm just a bloody loser who can't accept reality, who can't change his thinking and I wish to escape from all my problems. Fark it!"
I kinda feel that I've come to a state where I'm just trapped in my own narrow set of thinking, and I'm really really tired of "trying" to put on a "brave" front when in the first place I know I'm not able to take it. Worse still, I really sick n tired of ppl telling me encouraging words to motivate me. Yes, I know u ppl mean well, and to be frank, I can understand what some of u r trying to say, but the simple fact is that I know all that u ppl r saying. I mean... Well... I do watch TV dramas and the actors/actress will always use such motivating words to encourage. But haiz, I don't mean to offend any1, but seriously, I've GIVEN UP n I wish I can just escape. Yes, escape. I'm juz trying to escape from reality, and pls, sometimes I really wish I can just sleep forever....... For eternity.......
I kinda feel that I've come to a state where I'm just trapped in my own narrow set of thinking, and I'm really really tired of "trying" to put on a "brave" front when in the first place I know I'm not able to take it. Worse still, I really sick n tired of ppl telling me encouraging words to motivate me. Yes, I know u ppl mean well, and to be frank, I can understand what some of u r trying to say, but the simple fact is that I know all that u ppl r saying. I mean... Well... I do watch TV dramas and the actors/actress will always use such motivating words to encourage. But haiz, I don't mean to offend any1, but seriously, I've GIVEN UP n I wish I can just escape. Yes, escape. I'm juz trying to escape from reality, and pls, sometimes I really wish I can just sleep forever....... For eternity.......
Monday, July 24, 2006
Some idiots in my bunk who r just so inconsiderate.
They could talk from 1030pm to almost 1am, and they juz talked non-stop. Wtf. Worse, they can actually smoke inside the bunk with the rest of us inhaling their second-hand smoke. I thought that's the end. It's when I thought I was "dreaming" as I started hearing music and I woke up at around 330am. Yes, sum1 turned on the radio to FM 933 and played the music rather LOUDLY all the way until it's time to wake up for day, which is around 545am for me.
Fark. How on earth can any1 sleep in peace like this. I will bring along a ear-plug next time. Damn these ppl.
They could talk from 1030pm to almost 1am, and they juz talked non-stop. Wtf. Worse, they can actually smoke inside the bunk with the rest of us inhaling their second-hand smoke. I thought that's the end. It's when I thought I was "dreaming" as I started hearing music and I woke up at around 330am. Yes, sum1 turned on the radio to FM 933 and played the music rather LOUDLY all the way until it's time to wake up for day, which is around 545am for me.
Fark. How on earth can any1 sleep in peace like this. I will bring along a ear-plug next time. Damn these ppl.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Okay, lots of changes this week. So those in HQ platoon present last week were made to choose between "1st class soldier" or "2nd class soldier". Wellz, guess I know the real difference now. For "2nd class", u juz need to stay in coy office WHOLE day n do admin stuff n to be more exact, do nth lorz. If nth to do can go to the mess n play games n watch TV. For "1st class" soldier, we need to take part in training n supposedly to go field camp today arz. Even u wat broken leg, broken hand or watever thing also must go field camp. It's like... .... ... ... .. .. **no comments**
O... N I was posted to "bravo" coy aka mono-intake coy. Hmm... My bunk ppl r quite interesting I'll say. Tattos, vulgarities like greetings n all smokers even though some r younger than me. Haiz, n I kinda feel tt I can't adapt well. Yesterday when I was juz posted there, i was greeted by asking me to go pack my standard field pack as we r goin off to field camp today. It's like "wow...", ain't it "abit" too soon?
And on Monday someone in my my new Bravo coy had chicken pox, and so some bunks were asked to "quanritine"(donno how to spell). Yaz, lucky mine doesn't have. And most interesting of all, my PS is 1st SGT melissa. Yup, is a female. She has the IPPT logo on her rank showing her IPPT is very good... and I can only say she's like the "modern" version of Hua Mu Lan, those super chiong sua 1. Her platoon ppl always make fun of her by calling her "mother love".Wow... And when she shout, her voice tend to go abit high pitch n my ears hurt. Well, a totally new environment. Haiz, also donno wat lies ahead.
P.S Pls don ask me what I'm doing here in a Wed afternoon.
O... N I was posted to "bravo" coy aka mono-intake coy. Hmm... My bunk ppl r quite interesting I'll say. Tattos, vulgarities like greetings n all smokers even though some r younger than me. Haiz, n I kinda feel tt I can't adapt well. Yesterday when I was juz posted there, i was greeted by asking me to go pack my standard field pack as we r goin off to field camp today. It's like "wow...", ain't it "abit" too soon?
And on Monday someone in my my new Bravo coy had chicken pox, and so some bunks were asked to "quanritine"(donno how to spell). Yaz, lucky mine doesn't have. And most interesting of all, my PS is 1st SGT melissa. Yup, is a female. She has the IPPT logo on her rank showing her IPPT is very good... and I can only say she's like the "modern" version of Hua Mu Lan, those super chiong sua 1. Her platoon ppl always make fun of her by calling her "mother love".Wow... And when she shout, her voice tend to go abit high pitch n my ears hurt. Well, a totally new environment. Haiz, also donno wat lies ahead.
P.S Pls don ask me what I'm doing here in a Wed afternoon.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
I did alot of thinking yesterday and today. I mean literally lots of "thinking", but mostly senseless ones. I had this feeling of jealousy, envy and hatred in me. Things like what have I done to deserve to deserve all these fark up nonsense, why my camp is so fark up whereby some of my friends' camps r better than mine. I was talking to denzil and louis on msn ystd, and they r in OCS, yet they think my camp is ridiculous. They were like asking things how I wash my clothes when we cnt bring clothes back etc. Kaoz.
I'm getting pissed off for no particular reason. Life's not fair. I'm not even going SISPEC or OCS. I'm juz a bloody man. Why the fark do they wan to have all these shit. And one thing I'm quite annoyed. I mean... Most of my friends in their units r basically undergoing courses which require them to do studying, some lectures, and maybe abit of PT to "even" things out. My camp? I think they r like juz training a bunch of roborts to be in tip-top condition as if we r goin to war now.
And I guess not many ppl understand ppl understand how I feel. Many ppl would tell me "O.. u r only left with 19 mths of NS arz.. Just get it done with and everything will be fine. Blah blah..."
Easier said than done. Just look at my coy's current status n u shld have a "rough" idea smth is wrong. 4 weeks into it and 50% of the ppl r on status.
Haiz, I juz hate life as it is. Later must book-in. Haiz, I really dread going back to the camp. N pls don tell me things will change for the better. It's a fact that now it's juz the starting n things will get much tougher. I admit I cnt take it. To be frank, if right now u ask me to join back the main fighting force after 2.5 weeks when I didn't exercise, I think I will juz die. Literally die. Yes, the exponential increasing insanity of the training, I can tell u ppl in the SAF tt I won't be able to take it. U can take my life if u want.
P.S. I'm juz venting some anger. Pls don get irritated if anything I mention have offended u.
I'm getting pissed off for no particular reason. Life's not fair. I'm not even going SISPEC or OCS. I'm juz a bloody man. Why the fark do they wan to have all these shit. And one thing I'm quite annoyed. I mean... Most of my friends in their units r basically undergoing courses which require them to do studying, some lectures, and maybe abit of PT to "even" things out. My camp? I think they r like juz training a bunch of roborts to be in tip-top condition as if we r goin to war now.
And I guess not many ppl understand ppl understand how I feel. Many ppl would tell me "O.. u r only left with 19 mths of NS arz.. Just get it done with and everything will be fine. Blah blah..."
Easier said than done. Just look at my coy's current status n u shld have a "rough" idea smth is wrong. 4 weeks into it and 50% of the ppl r on status.
Haiz, I juz hate life as it is. Later must book-in. Haiz, I really dread going back to the camp. N pls don tell me things will change for the better. It's a fact that now it's juz the starting n things will get much tougher. I admit I cnt take it. To be frank, if right now u ask me to join back the main fighting force after 2.5 weeks when I didn't exercise, I think I will juz die. Literally die. Yes, the exponential increasing insanity of the training, I can tell u ppl in the SAF tt I won't be able to take it. U can take my life if u want.
P.S. I'm juz venting some anger. Pls don get irritated if anything I mention have offended u.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
I was away from 4SIR for 2 weeks, and so so so many things have changed, for the worse of course. And cuz of my condition, I have to be transferred out of scouts and put in a so'called temp platoon, called "HQ platoon". From morning to night is just area cleaning, area cleaning, and more area cleaning. Okay, I seriously don mind doing it for the rest of 17 months.
Right now, the chin-up regim has increased from 16 pull-ups b4 each meal(that was when I was "fighting fit" 2 weeks ago) to that of 24 pull-ups b4 each meal. Well, that adds up to 72 pull-ups a day, and NOT forgetting the hundreds of standard/close up/spider push-ups everyday. And starting this week, the scouts platoon needs to have their FBO on the whole day, from the first parade when they fall in till the last parade when they announce RO. That includes going to cookhouse for meals and so on.
**FBO = SBO + standard field pack + 2 EXTRA 1.5 litres water bottle juz to add weight
On Thursday they wanted to have their 1st SOC trial run. And before that, they had some kind of "warm-up". The warm up includes stretching and of course the 3km run with SBO, helmet and rifle. Yes, that's warm-up. I was the usher, and as I saw my friends run, they were all like crying out to me that they wan to die when they run past me. And luckily on tt day, by the time they run finish, the weather was too hot, and so they decided to cancel the SOC. I nearly had another panic attack when I saw them run past me, the expression in their faces.
For those fighting fit ones, this week is simply PT, PT, PT, PT and more PT in the morning and afternoon. No lectures, no nth. Just purely train on PT. And for those in the HQ platoon, which is my platoon, whole day just do area cleaning. Everyday stand-by toilet, stand-by bunk, stand-by ground floor compound and all the stand-by.
As far as yesterday was concern, this is my coy's status now:
1) 47 ppl in HQ platoon.
2) 22 ppl on atten C, medical appt or operations out of the 47. (which means ystd left only 25 ppl in HQ platoon in camp)
3) 30+ ppl pending downgrade out of the 47.
4) 4 ppl needs to walk using clutches n their conditions r so bad that they r asked to go back home to rest cuz it's very "unsightly" to see them like tt according to the OC.
5) Left only 50+ ppl fighting fit.
6) Support coy is SO lack of manpower that we have to transfer ppl from alpha, bravo and charlie coy (mono-intakes) to help fill up the "vacancies".
Currently I juz changed bunk, from 4th level to 2nd level, which is the HQ platoon bunk. Out of the 14 beds, every night only got 3 ppl sleeping, 2 of them r storemans, they r going to ORD soon, and actually they not really considered the "main" manpower. In other words, I'm like the only 1 left in my bunk. The other 11 ppl r obviously on atten C. And everytime I was in bunk I have to be on the high alert for instructions, in case they juz shout for fall-in or wat then if I never hear then die liaoz. Kaoz.
Yesterday the CO came down personally to talk to the 25 of us in HQ platoon. He was REAL pissed off at the status as like so many ppl on status. He scolded us that we r wasting the nation's time, nation's resources and nation's money. Say wat every meal we eat cost $5, n we r like not contributing to the nation and blah blah. He made us write a confession, to write whether we want to be 1st class or 2nd class soldiers, how we can contribute to the unit, and how can the unit help us. And he said the 47 of us belong to the "gray shade". N he said he will investigate to make sure all of us will turn from "gray" to "black n white". In other words, if for example u have injury, he will make sure ur injury is so serious that u r going to have injury for the rest of ur life (which means even physiotherapy will not work), if not u must join back the main fighting fit force. All of us were so shocked and scared. No ones dare to say or do anything. We r juz stunned.
Wellz, 15 ppl chose 1st class, and 10 ppl chose 2nd class. I chose 1st class (obviously). For 1st class soldier, he will try to accomodate in to our request n MAYBE post us out to donno where, For 2nd class, they will remain in support coy n do all the "sai-kang", such as do COS duty, guard duty, which means MOST of ur weekends will be burnt.
Yesterday my HQ platoon had to book out one hour later than the fighting-fit ppl, cuz our area cleaning is not good. Some of us wanted to "smuggle" clothes out to wash. the CSM saw one guy's bag was so bulky, he quickly said he give us chance to own-up and go back bunk to put back all our clothes, and if later he spot-check our bag got clothes, he will CHARGE us for cheating. So all of us went back bunk and put our dirty clothes back in our cupboard and then come down to get ready for book-out. There was a new PC, he was here for like 1 or 2 weeks only, then we heard him asking the CSM izzit we cannot bring clothes back, then the CSM was like "yes sir, they r not allowed to bring clothes back". The sir had that shocked face and stunned. Kaoz.
Right now, the chin-up regim has increased from 16 pull-ups b4 each meal(that was when I was "fighting fit" 2 weeks ago) to that of 24 pull-ups b4 each meal. Well, that adds up to 72 pull-ups a day, and NOT forgetting the hundreds of standard/close up/spider push-ups everyday. And starting this week, the scouts platoon needs to have their FBO on the whole day, from the first parade when they fall in till the last parade when they announce RO. That includes going to cookhouse for meals and so on.
**FBO = SBO + standard field pack + 2 EXTRA 1.5 litres water bottle juz to add weight
On Thursday they wanted to have their 1st SOC trial run. And before that, they had some kind of "warm-up". The warm up includes stretching and of course the 3km run with SBO, helmet and rifle. Yes, that's warm-up. I was the usher, and as I saw my friends run, they were all like crying out to me that they wan to die when they run past me. And luckily on tt day, by the time they run finish, the weather was too hot, and so they decided to cancel the SOC. I nearly had another panic attack when I saw them run past me, the expression in their faces.
For those fighting fit ones, this week is simply PT, PT, PT, PT and more PT in the morning and afternoon. No lectures, no nth. Just purely train on PT. And for those in the HQ platoon, which is my platoon, whole day just do area cleaning. Everyday stand-by toilet, stand-by bunk, stand-by ground floor compound and all the stand-by.
As far as yesterday was concern, this is my coy's status now:
1) 47 ppl in HQ platoon.
2) 22 ppl on atten C, medical appt or operations out of the 47. (which means ystd left only 25 ppl in HQ platoon in camp)
3) 30+ ppl pending downgrade out of the 47.
4) 4 ppl needs to walk using clutches n their conditions r so bad that they r asked to go back home to rest cuz it's very "unsightly" to see them like tt according to the OC.
5) Left only 50+ ppl fighting fit.
6) Support coy is SO lack of manpower that we have to transfer ppl from alpha, bravo and charlie coy (mono-intakes) to help fill up the "vacancies".
Currently I juz changed bunk, from 4th level to 2nd level, which is the HQ platoon bunk. Out of the 14 beds, every night only got 3 ppl sleeping, 2 of them r storemans, they r going to ORD soon, and actually they not really considered the "main" manpower. In other words, I'm like the only 1 left in my bunk. The other 11 ppl r obviously on atten C. And everytime I was in bunk I have to be on the high alert for instructions, in case they juz shout for fall-in or wat then if I never hear then die liaoz. Kaoz.
Yesterday the CO came down personally to talk to the 25 of us in HQ platoon. He was REAL pissed off at the status as like so many ppl on status. He scolded us that we r wasting the nation's time, nation's resources and nation's money. Say wat every meal we eat cost $5, n we r like not contributing to the nation and blah blah. He made us write a confession, to write whether we want to be 1st class or 2nd class soldiers, how we can contribute to the unit, and how can the unit help us. And he said the 47 of us belong to the "gray shade". N he said he will investigate to make sure all of us will turn from "gray" to "black n white". In other words, if for example u have injury, he will make sure ur injury is so serious that u r going to have injury for the rest of ur life (which means even physiotherapy will not work), if not u must join back the main fighting fit force. All of us were so shocked and scared. No ones dare to say or do anything. We r juz stunned.
Wellz, 15 ppl chose 1st class, and 10 ppl chose 2nd class. I chose 1st class (obviously). For 1st class soldier, he will try to accomodate in to our request n MAYBE post us out to donno where, For 2nd class, they will remain in support coy n do all the "sai-kang", such as do COS duty, guard duty, which means MOST of ur weekends will be burnt.
Yesterday my HQ platoon had to book out one hour later than the fighting-fit ppl, cuz our area cleaning is not good. Some of us wanted to "smuggle" clothes out to wash. the CSM saw one guy's bag was so bulky, he quickly said he give us chance to own-up and go back bunk to put back all our clothes, and if later he spot-check our bag got clothes, he will CHARGE us for cheating. So all of us went back bunk and put our dirty clothes back in our cupboard and then come down to get ready for book-out. There was a new PC, he was here for like 1 or 2 weeks only, then we heard him asking the CSM izzit we cannot bring clothes back, then the CSM was like "yes sir, they r not allowed to bring clothes back". The sir had that shocked face and stunned. Kaoz.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I'm home-sicked. For the first time I really really feel that it's so shiok to be back at home. I've never felt much better. Even 7 days of field camp is nth compared to how our dear SAF has treated us NSF guys.
These few days have really made me learn to cherish so many things. Really, and most importantly kinship and friendship. If not for my parents, especially my mum who had been coming everyday to visit me, and becuz of me she had very bad sleeping patterns and lost 5kg in a week. That's like..."wow..." really... I really thank God for placing such a nice and caring mum in my world. Definitely not 4getting my father and sister as well. Also, thanks to my many friends who took turns to visit me. If not for u guys, I think I would have committed suicide and died.
These few days have really made me learn to cherish so many things. Really, and most importantly kinship and friendship. If not for my parents, especially my mum who had been coming everyday to visit me, and becuz of me she had very bad sleeping patterns and lost 5kg in a week. That's like..."wow..." really... I really thank God for placing such a nice and caring mum in my world. Definitely not 4getting my father and sister as well. Also, thanks to my many friends who took turns to visit me. If not for u guys, I think I would have committed suicide and died.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
I remember when I was still schooling, I used to have a simple plan for my future. Do well for A-levels, serve NS, get into uni, go get a decent degree, get a good job, start a family and take care of my parents. I believe many ppl may also have such a thinking, I donno. Whatever it is, these things seem so distant now. I can't even imagine if I will be able to reach the day when I can call myself an "uni undergraduate", n obviously anything further down the timeline seem even more impossible.
These few days I've been questioning myself. How much does one human life cost? Is it cheap or is it priceless? I donno. And I believe in one thing. If u r like the junk of the society, ur life is definitely cheap and worthless. No one even cares abt ur existence. On the other hand, if u r like the jewel of the society, contributing much to the society, ppl will show great respect to u, and if u ever die then many ppl will moan over ur death.
Ask urself this simple ques. Which category do u belong to? If u belong to the former, then I encourage u to just go and die. Stop wasting earth's resources in keeping u alive. If u belong to the latter, then good for u, may ur life ahead be smooth.
These few days I've been questioning myself. How much does one human life cost? Is it cheap or is it priceless? I donno. And I believe in one thing. If u r like the junk of the society, ur life is definitely cheap and worthless. No one even cares abt ur existence. On the other hand, if u r like the jewel of the society, contributing much to the society, ppl will show great respect to u, and if u ever die then many ppl will moan over ur death.
Ask urself this simple ques. Which category do u belong to? If u belong to the former, then I encourage u to just go and die. Stop wasting earth's resources in keeping u alive. If u belong to the latter, then good for u, may ur life ahead be smooth.
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