I was reading an article abt lasik surgery in Singapore a few days ago n I juz feel so TEMPTED to go for tt operation lar. Apparantly it costs typically between $3K to $4K bahz, for both eyes (I also donno y they wan to charge based on PER eye, which is dumb in my opinion). Okay lar, the price is reasonable I feel, at least it FREES u from wearing contact lens/glasses perm for the rest of ur life unless u get short-sighted again.

So I started searching the net for all the available clinics tt offer Lasik Surgery. HmM.. most r around the same price lar, so I juz hope tt I will be able to go for tt before I start uni in 2008. Maybe after I ORD but before sch starts. Although my parents have agreed to sponser me, but I think I shld also start saving some $$$ lar. Maybe I pay 1K to 2K and ask my parents to pay the remaining. But looking at my PATHETIC NS pay now, I think I can 4get abt saving tt much lar. Maybe shld faster go find a job when I ORD n save up. But haiz...it's still a LONG way to go till 2008. Sighz.

Wtf, for wat shit issue me 1 stupid pager. Kns. Just don't ever beep during weekend.

I was standing there next to the MRT door when I saw her enter and stand next to me.

Yes, I've not mistaken.

For that split second, my heart started beating real fast. I keep thinking what am I gonna to do.

After awhile, I feel that it's best that I just pretend nth has happened.

Having passed a few stops, while standing next to me, she turned around to look at me.

She turned back to the front, and suddenly turned again to look at a second time.

I guess she has seen me.

At that moment I feel warm as if I've just gotten sun-burn.

And like me, we pretend we didn't encounter at all.

That feeling sucks.

After 2 weeks working in 4SIR S1 Br, I would say that I'm really happy and satisfied with my current working environment. Everything is going smoothly. I can work with my superiors in my branch, and also the other servicemen in my branch. I don't know if it's cuz that damned *Ah Boon* is not around at the moment which makes life more peaceful. But whatever it is, I think I don't mind staying at S1 Br as a docu clerk till the day I ORD.

Although many politics still exist in this unit, especially in battalion HQ which involved that *Ah Boon* in causing the 4 different branches to fall out and leading the battalion towards self-destruction, I just hope that he get's transferred out ASAP next year. In fact, everyone in my branch seems quite united against this *Ah Boon*, which I think is the main factor that casued us to feel closer to each other. At this critical time whereby there's gonna be Audit check in Jan 2007, and the livelihood of my chief being at stake, all of us will try our best to do well for the assessment and not giving *Ah Boon* any chance to fault us.

I'm prepared to be treated as a 3rd or 4th class citizen in this camp. Like my chief said, our beloved *Ah Boon* hates clerks to the core and always push all the blame to the clerks when anything goes wrong. And I heard that this *Ah Boon* nearly wanted to charge my upper study in my branch, just because of a few MINOR mistakes like nv update the details in proficiency booklets properly. Ain't he insane? It's akin to a teacher saying that she wants to cane a student juz becuz a student nv does his homework. And I can't believe *Ah Boon* actually said to the R&D clerk that he wans to increase the CHARGE rate in my camp. It's like "HELLOOOOOOO!!", do u just so enjoy charging people or sending ppl to DB? Ain't he a SICKO? I believe so.

My chief warns me that I have to be mentally prepared if I stay in S1 Br, because *Ah Boon* enjoys coming to S1 Br almost everyday and start farking all the clerk, before he goes back to his office. And he doesn't seem to realise that we r "respecting" him because of his rank on his shoulder, and not because of who he really is.

I must learn to treasure life in 4SIR w/o *Ah Boon* around. Literally, all of us just feels so happy w/o HIM around.

Haiz. I'm still waiting for my death note to drop down from heaven, so that *Ah Boon* can have the greatest honour in me writing his name first in it.

Imagine u r watching TV halfway and suddenly someone from your camp calls to tell u that you've just gotten 3 EXTRAS. And thanks to some idiot who don't seem to understand simple English and can't even count properly.

THANKS to this person.

Well done.

Sometimes I really can't trust ppl with low intelligence level. Not that I'm saying mine is high or wat.

From today onwards I swear I shld juz give a "bo-chap" attitude. If any1 wanna complain abt my work attitude, so be it. I also don't give a farking damn.

Sometimes it's simply not worth ur effort contributing tt much. When all the trouble comes, u r still the one who get it. And all the credits go to those HIGHER up there. What a farked up system.

Totally enjoyed myself during the outing with my HQ platoon. The so-called "platoon cohesion day", whereby we are supposed to go some place and play. I got the chance to sit in my OC's car to Yishun SAFRA in the morning while the rest took public transport. Lolx... We played CS, bowling, and arcade for like 4 hours or so. And lunch at a western restaurant was a treat from my OC, same goes for the bowling. I think perhaps the most fun day of my life in 4SIR. If only we can more of such outings.... Okay, back to the lousy side. I just wan to curse these ppl.

This morning one F**KER officer only know how to kpkb till my armskote spec cried. What a blardy farker. Only know how to pin-point ALL the fault and start digging back old wounds. Knn... If he's not an officer I swear I sure whack him up and down. Farker, only know how to threaten us with LOTS of extras. CB, I cursed that u get lots of EXTRAS till ORD still cnt clear. What a pretence who know how to boot-lick in front of higher ranking officers. Kns.

And on Wednesday it was a MILITARY POLICE spot-check. Knn... I shan't say more, but some of my friends would know abt it. I would only blame it on my blardy BAD luck that has sticked to me ever since I entered the cursed land of 4SIR. Ever since this incident I juz feel so AWKWARD to even look at my CSM and OC. Haiz, I must have greatly disappointed them. Whatever it is, I juz take it as an lesson learnt and gladly accept my punishment (if there's any), although I know my angelic OC will sure try his best to cover my ass. Sometimes I juz feel so guilty that my OC treats me so so sooooooooooooo WELL and yet I give him lots of problems, be it armskote or the MP incident. I think I'm juz one big bastard trouble-maker. Haiz.

And some CCB armourers who only know how to complain how DIRTY weapons are. Nabei, I tolerate this particular armourer for a long time, so are the armskoteman of Alpha, Charlie and Support coy. Don't force us one day the 4 of u give u one good whacking then u can learn how to stop barking like a farking mad dog. If u wan complain anything juz go find my OC lar. Stop farking threaten me wat complain to my OC or CSM. U think I SCARED izzit!? U only work Mon to Fri, 8am to 5pm, then still wan to REQUEST ppl to stay back in a SUNDAY MORNING to clean arms!? Are u NUTS!? Why not u try BURNING ur weekends consecutively and see how that FEELS!?

And I think the 2 person mentioned above, both the officer and armourer seem to not understand the meaning of TEMPORARY armskoteman.

HELLO!!!!!!????????

I NEVER EVEN ATTEND ANY ARMSKOTE COURSE AND MY ARMSKOTE SPECS ARE EVER SO BUSY TO TEACH ME ANYTHING....

PLEASE DON'T ASSUME I KNOW EVERYTHING OKAY!?

IF I KNOW EVERYTHING THEN MIGHT AS WELL ASK SAF TO ABOLISH THE ARMSKOTE COURSE!?

*Phew........* Feel so shuang after cursing these ppl. I juz hope that the both of them can get KNOCKED down by car and DIE!!!!

I think next time when I'm on OFF or watz I shld juz switch off my HP so that NO ONE will call n bother me. This morning I received 5 missed calls from my unit and when I call back, no1 actually confessed in calling my HP. Fine.

And juz a few mins ago, some i-dot called me again.

Armourer: Hi, can u open the armskote room now? I'm coming over.
Me: Huh? Who r u?
Armourer: Armourer.
Me: Sorry arz, I'm on OFF now, go call my armskote spec if u wan. BYE!!!

And subsequently hung up my phone.

Last night I was blog-surfing again, and I happened to chance upon some of the blogs of juniors who were ex-haisians and of course those even more junior that r still in haising. And from 12am till abt 3am, while reading some of the random blogs of these ppl, I started recollecting my sec sch days. The fun that I had with my sec sch friends, from sec1 all the way to sec4.

Then I started thinking of some of the "nicknames" that we gave teachers like "kang-kong" and "black hitler". How some ppl like to imitate my Emaths/Amaths teacher's high-pitch voice. About my "lightningS and thunderS". I missed the days when we will stay back after sch to do all the decos for the noticeboard at the back of the class. And I think up to now I still dislike the phy lessons and teacher. And I know during then I was basically CRAZED over my beloved BoA until some of my friends are tired of me saying BoA every now and then. I will never 4get the event when SQ or darrell or was it Denzil who kicked the empty bottle down from the 4th level right down to the 1st level outside HOD and was caught by tt "mo-peng" Colin Ting and Maths HOD. And to think that they seem to be LAUGHING even more when they were being scolded. I think tt's loose nuts arz. Then talking abt scolding, I will not 4get tt "tooT" NG TIAK KEE who's like so kpkb, name tag majiam everyday need to check like tt.

And guessed wat? I suddenly remember I actually have the 2003 graduation CD!! So I started spending roughly 10min searching my whole room for tt CD b4 I finally found it. Phew, luckily I didn't lose it. And while I was watching the 32min video, all the sweet old memories juz keep coming back lar. I seriously miss my sec sch days! Although it's been like 3 years only, but then it seems like a long time has passed. Those happy moments seem so distant in my mind, as I try to recall everything I could of my sec sch days.

But before I realised, I'm kinda zapped back into reality and to admit the fact that I'm now serving the farking army and I simply HATE and DREAD going BACK to tt cursed camp. I'm so sick and tired of army life.

JC life was disaster.
Army life was EVEN MORE disaster.
What's next? To be frank, I don't really look forward to Uni life either, unlike some of my friends who r in army now who actually look forward to this next phase of life after ORD for them.

Me?

Partly maybe cuz I've heard from friends in Accoutancy/Business course in NTU abt how disaster the modules they r taking can be. And the fact that I'm the stupidest compared to them make me feel that I'm NOT gonna make it and confirm do much worst as compared to them. I'm juz a stupid ass I feel.

Most importantly I juz hope to slack, slack and nua and slack and nua.... Until I *shuang*, but when will I get to do tt? After ORD? Haiz, tt's like 15 months to go. I juz wish to go overseas now for some break or watz, but then the STUPID army leave system is so corked up until I donno how it works.

But one thing for sure. I'm so looking forward to the end of 2006 and start of 2007.

Currently on my OFF for today and tml which my darn unit owes me. So my OC has officially told me that he has put my name up for POSTING OUT of this camp... YES!! U didn't c wrongly, I hope I'm getting OUT of this camp SOON!

And I donno wat the FARK those S2 branch ppl r. They seem to enjoy asking LOTS of questions majiam they r like interrogating sum1. Fark, if they r not officers I swear I sure ask them to STFU. And it seems currently my name is in the process of being taken OUT of the Brunei trip. Phew, thankfully I don have to go to Brunei and feed the mozzies my blood.

ARGZ!! I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO GET POSTED OUT OF THAT CAMP AND GO SOMEHWERE ELSE!!!!

Sometimes I really wonder why am I wasting my off days juz like that? Lazing at home n rotting, and b4 I realise, it's BACK to camp. Gosh. How sucks can this vicious cycle be? And I juz remember today's my 7th month anniversary is ARMY. Wtf, I still have 15 months to go. Haiz, that's like 66% of the way to go!

Haiz, sianz sianz sianz!!!!

Holding on to that LAST glimpse of hope..... I shall endure!

Come!! Whack me with all the farking armskote stuff! So what if it's only 3 to 4 hours of sleep a day!? As long don't faint can already! Hurry up and give all the "sai kang" to do!! The enthu "sai kang" warrior!!

BUT if I'm NOT gonna get the fark out of tt stupid camp....................................................

I think I can go fark spider liaoz.

SighZ

IT'S BoA's 20th BIRTHDAY!!!

ARZZZZZZ!!!!!

I FEEL SO HIGH NOW!!

Ok...I'm mad.

Fark. Am I jinx or watz? Why when smth good has happened, some fark suay thing juz has to take place next? Fark fark fark!!

Sianz. End of the 5 days break liaoz. Gonna get confined this coming sunday for some stupid 'live' firing. Haiz.
On Saturday went ngee ann city kinokuniya book store to find some books on elementary Japanese. I'm such a kuku. Only manage to find it after like 30min like tt, and best thing is it's actually right at the entrance from where I enter. Fantastic arz. Bought 2 books which cost me$30. Okay arz, i think it's reasonable arz, compared to going for jap courses which can cost around $200.
Then yesterday I spent another $60 on a PC game: Heroes of Might and Magic V. Wah kaoz, I spend nearly 10 hours playing it yesterday lorz. From 3pm to7pm and then 8pm to 2am. Play until shiok. In total I think I spend $150 or so during this long weekend arz. Feel so SHUANG. I donno why, I don feel heartpain at all, but instead think it's necessary to "pamper" myself once awhile.
In the past when I'm still schooling, I might think twice when I buy smth, but then donno y ever since come into army I juz spend w/o thinking 1. Somemore I'm juz getting a PATHETIC $450 a month. Haiz. But whatever arz, now I'm juz so looking forward to the next public holiday, which is CHRISTMAS!?That's like 2 months from now. Sianz sianz sianz! And those ppl in my camp will keep saying "ORD ORD ORD ORD>....." Wtf lorz, ORD then ORD lar. Like tt keep saying can make ppl feel so jealous 1 arz. Haiz, nvm, but I think 1 yr from now I will also be in the "ORD" mood lar. But it's still a long way to go. Haiz, clear 2006 1st then talk.

So fun!!

So I am currently in NBS comp lab using MSN... And b4 that I went to crash my friend's course, AB105 lecture from 230pm to 430pm. My gosh, the lecture is SO boring lar! I yawned like donno how many zillion times. But understadable, as the module is wat organisation behaviour, which I feel in my opinion is quite a stupid n dumb module. Anyway, then pretending to help my friend carry her statistics textbook n walking around as if I'm a student there. Hahaz.. and b4 the lecture I went to the library to explore around..the lee wee nam library... but then I find it quite small arz as compared to what I initially expected.

So after the lecture went to visit my friend's friend's hostel, to see how "big" the hostel room is. Also quite disappointes that NTU hostels are quite small as compared to NUS ones. Hmm.. Somemore NTU only allow double bedrooms for year1s.. piangz... so sucks lorz.

From what I know business/acct students will need to do LOTs of projects. My gosh, that's so sucks arz. I prefer working alone. Haiz, but thinking again, next time go out work also need to work with other ppl. So that's y we need to learn "Organization behaviour" which teaches u how abt HR skills.

Now waiting for my friend to discuss finish her project then can go back liaoz. Lolx.. To certain extent living in hostel is like living in army camps. U see alot of ppl carry their "barang barang" as it's FRIDAY and every1's going home. Hmm... I would say it's an interesting experience today at NBS!

So here I am, on my off for tml, and 2 days of weekend, and deepavali off on Monday, then hari raya holiday on Tuesday. Arz... It's been LONG since I enjoy such a long break.

After tolerating some of the nonsense for a period of time, I talked to my OC abt it, and surprisingly, he's so understanding! Phew... Seriously, sometimes it's becuz of commanders like my OC, for example, that makes life in NS memorable, And pls, I don mean it in a sarcastic way. He's one commander that really knows how to earn not only my respect, but also every single other ppl's respect. If not for the CORKED-UP system in 4SIR, I think personally I won't mind slogging my life for someone like my OC. And I think I will give my 101% if required, as at least I know he appreciates wat I've done. On the other hand, some commanders r such BIG time losers. Kaoz, sometimes I wonder if their degenerative brain is malfunctioning or watz. which can't seem to understanding y so many ppl loathe them.

Seriously, I feel that be it in NS or outside NS, if someone (commander/leader) wanna fark someone, maybe the person shld really think thru in the 1st place whether it's their LOUSY guidance that cause the followers to do or react the wrong way? For example, how can a teacher have the cheek to scold a student if the teacher doesn't even know how to perform his duties well?

But on a lighter note, I'm surprised that quite a few commanders in my company will be going to NBS (Nanyang Business School) next year to take Business or Accountancy. Ok, my so-called future "seniors-to-be". Nice bunch of ppl to mix around with. And of course one PC in my coy who graduated from NTU business, who's ever so nice and say if I next time in uni need any help I may juz find him.

Deep down from the bottom of my heart, such commanders are SO SO HARD to get by. Sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing in disguise to be posted then to Bravo coy of 4SIR. Yes, my coy is okay, but the unit's policies n stuff simply turn me off. Haiz. But thinking thru, I feel that I really need a change of environment. Now I can ony leave my fate to the hands of those twinny-pea brain HQ ppl liaoz.

Being an armskote man.. SUCKS to the core! Fucking piece of shit.... Any idea what does being armskote man means>?

1) Waking up the the EARLIEST and sleeping the LATEST because u have to get ready all the stuff when they wan draw items and start arranging back the items when they return.

2) Getting farked for no apparant reason such as DIRTY sign in/out books cause of the OILY-stainted hands of the soldiers when they sign on the books.

3) And farking hell, some idiots, which include commanders who ALWAYS seem to 4get to sign out, and I've to spend time and energy gathering them back to sign.

4) You will be farking irritated when u r the ONLY one in the armskote room when they draw items, and those SHITHEAD assitants wanna slack and don wan to help u to give the weapon. Fucks, so ALMOST every second, ppl will be shouting at u to hurry up and get them the items they wan, and at the same time ensuring these IDIOTs don't sign at the wrong row, which they seem to ENJOY doing it most of the time.

5) And this one is for SURE!! U will get HEART ATTACK and HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE easily. Imagine when some IDIOTS forget to return items like bayonet or magazines, u will be spending an hour or so COUNTING over and over again, but the figures don't telly. Then when u ask the whole company again, these idiots will be like "O... paisehz.. i 4get to return!" Wtf.... I have a very STRONG feeling that very soon, I'm either gonna get EXTRAs or SOLs or worse still, go to DB!!!

And I donno wat's the farking problem with those pea-brain idiots higher up there doing. Do they actually understand wat is "proper management of manpower"? How could they have like wat 4 ADMIN clerks, 3 STOREMANs and 1 BLARDY armskoteman? Seriously, there shldn't be too many admin clerks, cuz seriously I think at the most 2 is MORE THAN ENOUGH lar!

But I'm not going to voice all that out. I shld just first wait until 27th Oct to know my NEW pes status, then from there I will speak to my OC, S1 and the chief clerk to POST me OUT!!!! So I think now I shld be gathering 101 reasons so why they have to post me out. If everything fails, then maybe I've got to ask "external agencies" for help.

I seriously donno wat the FARK is the problem with the highper authority ppl UP there doing. Fark. I seriously can't stand my unit. Can u imagine when the CO OPENLY DECLARES that he DESPISED ppl with medical problems and will treat them as 2nd class soldiers? Farking piece of shit. And he seems to ENJOY spreading the propaganda to the WHOLE unit, all the way down to the lowest lifeform of men. How would u feel if ppl sometimes give u that "look", as u r juz some farking piece of shit that's worse than those blangadesh workers out there.

I don't know if they r waiting for CHRISTMAS or r they juz feigning ignorance by 4getting to post me out. I DIE DIE will try to get the fark out of tt fark place.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cursed or wat. Always getting all the suay shits.

I feel good...
Te ne ne ne ne ne ne....
I knew that I would...
I feel good....
Te ne ne ne ne ne ne...
I knew I would...
So good... so GOOD!

When I know how things r gonna work out for me from now till I get *toot*, I just feel so happy lar. It's just wait, rot, wait, rot, and then *poof*. So now I shall be a good soldier and give my very best in watever work I'm supposed to do.

Now I believe in one thing. Birthday wishes do come true afterall! =)

Some commanders r juz so disgusting. One can actually say: "O...do u know why I give u all so much work to do, whereas ppl from other company r more slack than u? There's a reason behind this. Am I right to say that last time when u all were still schooling, ur teachers give u all lots of homework so that u all can do well in exams? The same thing applies here! I'm giving u all lots of work to do so that u all will be more skillful next time when u all ORD."

It's something along those lines.

WAH LAOZ! KAOZ! PLS LORZ! DON'T MAKE ME PUKE LAR. WE DO ALL THE WORK THEN U R ALWAYS WATCHING TV IN THE MESS, IF NOT U R SLEEPING IN UR OFFICE SLEEPING IN THE DAY! WAN TO SLACK JUST SAY SO LAR! IT'S NOT AS WE R SO NAIVE THAT WE WILL BELIEVE WAT U SAY LAR. BLARDY HELL.... SIMPLY "NATO".

**NATO = NO ACTION, TALK ONLY.

And I realised smth. Some ppl arz, I think the 3SG or the 2SG, when they do COS, they think they r really (COS = Chief of Singapore), and if u r a blardy PTE doing COS, ppl will treat u as (COS = Company's Only Slave).

Fark lar. Some commanders really really wanna make me PUKE lar. Er xin to the max. Pieces of shit. They make themselves as if they r angels when in actual fact they r juz so shitty.

Nvm, I swear I will get out of tt farking place. They think they can do me in!? No way!!

So I'm down with 6 COS duties for the month of Sep. Haiz. Okay, I must say I think I'm quite used to doing COS already, since I've already done so many. And I think right now I'm better at using the microsoft and the programming. Actually some of these things r simple but juz tt I'm such a comp-i-diot that I've to learn all these SIMPLE stuff.

I think this month will be quite peaceful as 99% of the ppl will be busy going to Changi Airport EVERYDAY to be luggage-porters and hence, me being not involved, hopefully can slack abit.

And this morning I nearly fainted during flag-raising. Thanks to my CSM who has done a good job by asking him to accompany him to TALK COCK becuz he couldn't sleep. N so we ended up from 12+am "talking" all the way till 4am b4 he says he wanna sleep. N throughout tt period he was doing ALL the talking, abt his life stories and moral values n I will be like nodding my head saying "Hmm.. yeah yeah.. ya..ya" So he was mentioning abt how "some commanders" who appeared to be friendly on the outiside r actually very scheming. Wow.. I was rather shocked y on earth will he tell me such thing. But wellz, it's true lar. This is a "dog-bite-dog" world, u will get eliminated if u r the weakest link.

And today n tml I'm being FORCED to apply my precious leave. Fark. That means end of the yr I can only apply lesser no. of days of leave.

So now I shall hopefully "enjoy" life while I can, although I seriously doubt any1 can really enjoy in such a god-damn camp.

Money and nothing else shapes my destiny. With money, u can do virtually anything that u like. With money, I shall decide my own fate.

Don't try to give me some kind of "CME" lesson. Really, u ppl r farking worse than me, and stop acting as if u ppl r demn "zai" in front of the men. And farking hell, pls stop comparing me with some pea-brain idiots. They deserve to die.

I wish I have great spening power. I need money. More money. I don need anything else.

Don't blame me for your mistakes. Blame youself. So what if I'm despicable>? It doesn't matter to me anymore. Your downfall ensures my survival. This is the real world. Face it! Even if u manage to get rid of me, I make sure I will have my revenge. The smile in me hides a daggar behind. Stay away from me or I'll make sure ur life gets as miserable as mine.

Sumtimes I donno wat's the farking problem with this particular SGT who's so demn blardy against JC ppl. Or shld I say, farking against me. Kaoz, n the joke is tt he's from TPJC last time. He would say things like "wah laoz, u JC student can don disgrace JC student's face anotz. Can u put in more effort anotz?" or "why u can down PES arz? wtf... i think I also wan to down PES lorz, since u now here so SLACK n do nth"

Farking hell, he's really really getting on my nerve, or shld I say a few of my other friends' nerves as well. N he was asking me why DIDN'T I wanna choose to go command sch when I was in BMT. So I replied "don wan lar, kaoz, pls lorz, so many ppl go command sch is either they do well in A-levels if not is their wa-yanging skills are demn good. Owellz, since I possess neither, for wat I waste my farking time go. Kaoz, NO PRIDE lorz. Alot ppl go command sch no leadership skills lorz, I think any1 also can go if they wan." N he was speechless. Guess he knows sacarsm's dripping from my words.

N it took me so long to understand a simple saying which is "Please fight for wat u really want."
Guess I'm juz retarded or wat. Anyway, really, if u really wan smth, fight for it even at the expense of literally anything. It's all right if u r DESPICABLE. There's always sum1 who is more scheming n cunning than u.

I think I can be an asshole jerk if I want to be. -_-'''

Everyday I will look up the sky and I will wonder to myself... ...

WHEN WILL I GET THE SH*T OUT OF THIS FARKING HELL PLACE!? Arzz!! I really wish tt I can have wings n fly the hell out of this unit.

Then I will heave a sigh n I know it won't be tt soon. Kns.

O..And "somebody" who's equivalent status to tt of Mr Kim Jong Il of North Korea in my camp started talking rubbish which really pissed some of us off. Wellz, it's the same old scolding again. Things like whoever always on status will get all the WEEKEND duty, if not he said smth like he DISPISED ppl who r always on status all things like tt. I donno wtf is wrong with this idiot. It's either he has no brain (most likely the case) or brain tt doesn't work. Farking hell, the sight of him really irks me much.

But on a lighter note, I seem to enjoy the company of my new platoon's ppl. SOmetimes it's really interesting to hear abt their life b4 NS. These stories u don really get to hear from typical JC/poly ppl who spent most of their time in sch in the past. Instead, I'm really fascinated by some of the encounters they have, their experiences etc, n I will go "wow" most of the time. Staying up in the night to hear them tok cock to me, whereby I'm always doing the listening most of the time. N I think it's really much better than being in a platoon of pure JC/poly ppl, u will get bored to death cuz there's nth exciting to hear abt.

And frankly speaking, initially I was really excited to be involved in IMF. But now, I really wish I'm not involved in it. Kaoz, we have to do 12 hours shift EVERYDAY during the IMF period, then will go back to camp to rest, n then go back airport again. The worse thing is that our duty is to be LUGGAGE PORTER. It's not tt I despise the job or watz, but I think my hands will break helping to carry all the luggage.

Haiz, COS duty on 27th Aug Sunday. Sianz! This means I will still be inside here till end of Aug!? Argz!! How long must I stay there!?

FARK LAR!!!

WHY I NEED TO BOOK IN LATER 8AM WHEREBY MY FRIEND WHO ALSO ATTEN C ON SUNDAY GET TO BOOK IN AT 9PM !? ARGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

AM I JUUST FARKING SUAY OR WHAT!?

Fark my unit. So juz now I went to CGH to collect my medicine, becuz it's not available in alexandra hosp, so I need to go CGH collect. Nvm, so I've been having quite a terrible runny nose these few days and so I was thinking since I'm at the hosp, I might as well go see the doctor and get some flu medicine. Okay, so it's juz some normal flu n I'll need to stay at home today and tml to rest, if not I will need to carry lots of tissue paper with me wherever I go. So I'm on atten C for 2 days.

Then I realised I need to book in tonight becuz there's 'live firing' tml (which I'm excused n I donno wat the hell I go back for.) Anyway, so I called back my coy line to tell the COS abt my new status, and I got farked.

Conversation :

Me: I'm on atten C, for today and tml, so may I know what time I need to book in tml(sun)?
COS: Do u know that OC has passed the rule that no1 is allowed to take MC outside camp?
Me: I donno... cuz I wasn't in camp this whole week, n I had no choice but to go outside camp to see doc.
COS: Wellz, whatever it is, u juz report back in camp tml 8am.
Me: But I thought the rule is that unless my MC is 3 days or more, if not I no need to come back camp to endorse it? Since mine is only 2 days, I thought I juz need to go back camp till my MC expires?
COS: @#$%^&*@#$%^&* No! U come back tml morning at 8am!
Me: Okay, I'll book in tml at 8am.

**Hung up the phone**

As the saying goes : "Lan lan SUCK THUMB!"

"I juz have to say I'm stupid and I do things w/o thinking thru my brain (if I have 1 in the 1st place) and I'm just a bloody loser who can't accept reality, who can't change his thinking and I wish to escape from all my problems. Fark it!"


I kinda feel that I've come to a state where I'm just trapped in my own narrow set of thinking, and I'm really really tired of "trying" to put on a "brave" front when in the first place I know I'm not able to take it. Worse still, I really sick n tired of ppl telling me encouraging words to motivate me. Yes, I know u ppl mean well, and to be frank, I can understand what some of u r trying to say, but the simple fact is that I know all that u ppl r saying. I mean... Well... I do watch TV dramas and the actors/actress will always use such motivating words to encourage. But haiz, I don't mean to offend any1, but seriously, I've GIVEN UP n I wish I can just escape. Yes, escape. I'm juz trying to escape from reality, and pls, sometimes I really wish I can just sleep forever....... For eternity.......

"Dear Lord,
I'm a sinner, and I know I've sinned too much. I know I deserved to be punished for my sins. But if You have to mete out any punishment, does it have to be like this>? "

"Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken me."

Some idiots in my bunk who r just so inconsiderate.

They could talk from 1030pm to almost 1am, and they juz talked non-stop. Wtf. Worse, they can actually smoke inside the bunk with the rest of us inhaling their second-hand smoke. I thought that's the end. It's when I thought I was "dreaming" as I started hearing music and I woke up at around 330am. Yes, sum1 turned on the radio to FM 933 and played the music rather LOUDLY all the way until it's time to wake up for day, which is around 545am for me.

Fark. How on earth can any1 sleep in peace like this. I will bring along a ear-plug next time. Damn these ppl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RulEUl-rMB0

Okay, lots of changes this week. So those in HQ platoon present last week were made to choose between "1st class soldier" or "2nd class soldier". Wellz, guess I know the real difference now. For "2nd class", u juz need to stay in coy office WHOLE day n do admin stuff n to be more exact, do nth lorz. If nth to do can go to the mess n play games n watch TV. For "1st class" soldier, we need to take part in training n supposedly to go field camp today arz. Even u wat broken leg, broken hand or watever thing also must go field camp. It's like... .... ... ... .. .. **no comments**

O... N I was posted to "bravo" coy aka mono-intake coy. Hmm... My bunk ppl r quite interesting I'll say. Tattos, vulgarities like greetings n all smokers even though some r younger than me. Haiz, n I kinda feel tt I can't adapt well. Yesterday when I was juz posted there, i was greeted by asking me to go pack my standard field pack as we r goin off to field camp today. It's like "wow...", ain't it "abit" too soon?

And on Monday someone in my my new Bravo coy had chicken pox, and so some bunks were asked to "quanritine"(donno how to spell). Yaz, lucky mine doesn't have. And most interesting of all, my PS is 1st SGT melissa. Yup, is a female. She has the IPPT logo on her rank showing her IPPT is very good... and I can only say she's like the "modern" version of Hua Mu Lan, those super chiong sua 1. Her platoon ppl always make fun of her by calling her "mother love".Wow... And when she shout, her voice tend to go abit high pitch n my ears hurt. Well, a totally new environment. Haiz, also donno wat lies ahead.

P.S Pls don ask me what I'm doing here in a Wed afternoon.

I did alot of thinking yesterday and today. I mean literally lots of "thinking", but mostly senseless ones. I had this feeling of jealousy, envy and hatred in me. Things like what have I done to deserve to deserve all these fark up nonsense, why my camp is so fark up whereby some of my friends' camps r better than mine. I was talking to denzil and louis on msn ystd, and they r in OCS, yet they think my camp is ridiculous. They were like asking things how I wash my clothes when we cnt bring clothes back etc. Kaoz.

I'm getting pissed off for no particular reason. Life's not fair. I'm not even going SISPEC or OCS. I'm juz a bloody man. Why the fark do they wan to have all these shit. And one thing I'm quite annoyed. I mean... Most of my friends in their units r basically undergoing courses which require them to do studying, some lectures, and maybe abit of PT to "even" things out. My camp? I think they r like juz training a bunch of roborts to be in tip-top condition as if we r goin to war now.

And I guess not many ppl understand ppl understand how I feel. Many ppl would tell me "O.. u r only left with 19 mths of NS arz.. Just get it done with and everything will be fine. Blah blah..."
Easier said than done. Just look at my coy's current status n u shld have a "rough" idea smth is wrong. 4 weeks into it and 50% of the ppl r on status.

Haiz, I juz hate life as it is. Later must book-in. Haiz, I really dread going back to the camp. N pls don tell me things will change for the better. It's a fact that now it's juz the starting n things will get much tougher. I admit I cnt take it. To be frank, if right now u ask me to join back the main fighting force after 2.5 weeks when I didn't exercise, I think I will juz die. Literally die. Yes, the exponential increasing insanity of the training, I can tell u ppl in the SAF tt I won't be able to take it. U can take my life if u want.

P.S. I'm juz venting some anger. Pls don get irritated if anything I mention have offended u.

I was away from 4SIR for 2 weeks, and so so so many things have changed, for the worse of course. And cuz of my condition, I have to be transferred out of scouts and put in a so'called temp platoon, called "HQ platoon". From morning to night is just area cleaning, area cleaning, and more area cleaning. Okay, I seriously don mind doing it for the rest of 17 months.

Right now, the chin-up regim has increased from 16 pull-ups b4 each meal(that was when I was "fighting fit" 2 weeks ago) to that of 24 pull-ups b4 each meal. Well, that adds up to 72 pull-ups a day, and NOT forgetting the hundreds of standard/close up/spider push-ups everyday. And starting this week, the scouts platoon needs to have their FBO on the whole day, from the first parade when they fall in till the last parade when they announce RO. That includes going to cookhouse for meals and so on.

**FBO = SBO + standard field pack + 2 EXTRA 1.5 litres water bottle juz to add weight

On Thursday they wanted to have their 1st SOC trial run. And before that, they had some kind of "warm-up". The warm up includes stretching and of course the 3km run with SBO, helmet and rifle. Yes, that's warm-up. I was the usher, and as I saw my friends run, they were all like crying out to me that they wan to die when they run past me. And luckily on tt day, by the time they run finish, the weather was too hot, and so they decided to cancel the SOC. I nearly had another panic attack when I saw them run past me, the expression in their faces.

For those fighting fit ones, this week is simply PT, PT, PT, PT and more PT in the morning and afternoon. No lectures, no nth. Just purely train on PT. And for those in the HQ platoon, which is my platoon, whole day just do area cleaning. Everyday stand-by toilet, stand-by bunk, stand-by ground floor compound and all the stand-by.

As far as yesterday was concern, this is my coy's status now:

1) 47 ppl in HQ platoon.
2) 22 ppl on atten C, medical appt or operations out of the 47. (which means ystd left only 25 ppl in HQ platoon in camp)
3) 30+ ppl pending downgrade out of the 47.
4) 4 ppl needs to walk using clutches n their conditions r so bad that they r asked to go back home to rest cuz it's very "unsightly" to see them like tt according to the OC.
5) Left only 50+ ppl fighting fit.
6) Support coy is SO lack of manpower that we have to transfer ppl from alpha, bravo and charlie coy (mono-intakes) to help fill up the "vacancies".

Currently I juz changed bunk, from 4th level to 2nd level, which is the HQ platoon bunk. Out of the 14 beds, every night only got 3 ppl sleeping, 2 of them r storemans, they r going to ORD soon, and actually they not really considered the "main" manpower. In other words, I'm like the only 1 left in my bunk. The other 11 ppl r obviously on atten C. And everytime I was in bunk I have to be on the high alert for instructions, in case they juz shout for fall-in or wat then if I never hear then die liaoz. Kaoz.

Yesterday the CO came down personally to talk to the 25 of us in HQ platoon. He was REAL pissed off at the status as like so many ppl on status. He scolded us that we r wasting the nation's time, nation's resources and nation's money. Say wat every meal we eat cost $5, n we r like not contributing to the nation and blah blah. He made us write a confession, to write whether we want to be 1st class or 2nd class soldiers, how we can contribute to the unit, and how can the unit help us. And he said the 47 of us belong to the "gray shade". N he said he will investigate to make sure all of us will turn from "gray" to "black n white". In other words, if for example u have injury, he will make sure ur injury is so serious that u r going to have injury for the rest of ur life (which means even physiotherapy will not work), if not u must join back the main fighting fit force. All of us were so shocked and scared. No ones dare to say or do anything. We r juz stunned.

Wellz, 15 ppl chose 1st class, and 10 ppl chose 2nd class. I chose 1st class (obviously). For 1st class soldier, he will try to accomodate in to our request n MAYBE post us out to donno where, For 2nd class, they will remain in support coy n do all the "sai-kang", such as do COS duty, guard duty, which means MOST of ur weekends will be burnt.

Yesterday my HQ platoon had to book out one hour later than the fighting-fit ppl, cuz our area cleaning is not good. Some of us wanted to "smuggle" clothes out to wash. the CSM saw one guy's bag was so bulky, he quickly said he give us chance to own-up and go back bunk to put back all our clothes, and if later he spot-check our bag got clothes, he will CHARGE us for cheating. So all of us went back bunk and put our dirty clothes back in our cupboard and then come down to get ready for book-out. There was a new PC, he was here for like 1 or 2 weeks only, then we heard him asking the CSM izzit we cannot bring clothes back, then the CSM was like "yes sir, they r not allowed to bring clothes back". The sir had that shocked face and stunned. Kaoz.

I'm home-sicked. For the first time I really really feel that it's so shiok to be back at home. I've never felt much better. Even 7 days of field camp is nth compared to how our dear SAF has treated us NSF guys.

These few days have really made me learn to cherish so many things. Really, and most importantly kinship and friendship. If not for my parents, especially my mum who had been coming everyday to visit me, and becuz of me she had very bad sleeping patterns and lost 5kg in a week. That's like..."wow..." really... I really thank God for placing such a nice and caring mum in my world. Definitely not 4getting my father and sister as well. Also, thanks to my many friends who took turns to visit me. If not for u guys, I think I would have committed suicide and died.

I remember when I was still schooling, I used to have a simple plan for my future. Do well for A-levels, serve NS, get into uni, go get a decent degree, get a good job, start a family and take care of my parents. I believe many ppl may also have such a thinking, I donno. Whatever it is, these things seem so distant now. I can't even imagine if I will be able to reach the day when I can call myself an "uni undergraduate", n obviously anything further down the timeline seem even more impossible.

These few days I've been questioning myself. How much does one human life cost? Is it cheap or is it priceless? I donno. And I believe in one thing. If u r like the junk of the society, ur life is definitely cheap and worthless. No one even cares abt ur existence. On the other hand, if u r like the jewel of the society, contributing much to the society, ppl will show great respect to u, and if u ever die then many ppl will moan over ur death.

Ask urself this simple ques. Which category do u belong to? If u belong to the former, then I encourage u to just go and die. Stop wasting earth's resources in keeping u alive. If u belong to the latter, then good for u, may ur life ahead be smooth.

Life's a mess now. Fark it. I also donno what's gonna happen to me.

WORLD CUP 2006 IS GONNA START REAL SOON!!!

I'm so gonna root for Japan and Korea for world cup!! But seems like Japan's fate is more or less sealed since she's in the same group as Brazil. Haiz, tough luck for Japan. Nevertheless, I really hope Korea can kick some asses of france, switzerland and togo. Muhahaha, hope it comes true!

What's so great abt POP? No offence, but I seriously don understand y some ppl can make such a big hoo-har over such a minor event. If it's "ORD" we r refering to, then I will have no comments, but for goodness, it's only 'POP' we r refering to! End of POP would mark the start of life at another unit for ur remaining 1.5 yrs of NS life for some ppl like me.

Someone has certainly pissed me off which I shouldn't elaborate much on it. I seriously hope that I won't ever ever get to see that person in my whole life, and definitely not in my new unit. Nevertheless, this guy has certainly given me the chance to make me do things that I've never done b4, which includes pointing my long middle finger at this person in front of the whole section n shout "F*** OFF LAR LOSER!" till every1 goes "OMG! WeiYang is pissed off alas!". Sometimes I really don't understand brain that doesn't work. How can sum1 be so ignorant that when the whole section is making "eye signal" as we talked bad abt him RIGHT infront of him and yet he seems enjoy scolding himself by interupting with nasty comments abt "whoever" we r toking to. And afterawhile he would ask if we were toking abt him. Manz. Can sum1 just invent a machine that can analyse brain that ACTUALLY works! That would be a great contribution to the human society I supposed.

For now, I shall just ASSUME I'm a civillian and "enjoy" life while I can. Haiz. It's still a long way to go b4 I get my ass out of NS.

Just came back from a tour agency with my family. Will be going Thailand Bangkok for 3 days next Sun 11th Jun till 13th Jun Tues. Arz... Can relax liaoz, but I hope there's no last min changes that require me to go back tekong on these 3 days. Even if there is...I think most likely I will AWOL or atten C or maybe ask my "beloved" PC to refund me my $$$ since he's the 1 who granted me permission to go overseas. And I juz realised that on Thurs will be my day1 status and so Fri is my stupid NE trip. So that's only left with Sat, which I hope there's NO 24km route march. Even IF there is....I think I will..... *censored*

So it's 4 more days to POP, don't know if I shld feel happy or sad. Happy as BMT is coming to an end and I get to slack for around 10 days or so b4 being posted to my new unit. Why sad? Cuz it's getting very slack now and I wish tt this can continue for the rest of my NS life (in my dreams). It's even better if u r excused for 7 days of light duties till the day I POP next wed. Arz... Why have I become so slack nowadays!?

But on a lighter note, I'm fortunate to be selected for MP! I hope I did okay for the interview, and with so many ppl wanting to go command sch, hopefully my chance of going MP is higher. And I really hope to be posted to some guard duty unit at some camp so tt I can go home almost everyday! Although nth has been confirmed yet, I really really wish I'm not posted to 1st Guards or some other horrible units.

Surprisingly, I managed to clear all the 11 obstacles course during my SOC half run-down. And for the first time, I cleared the jacob's ladder w/o stopping at the top and "moon-walked" for 5 min or so. Phew... And on Wed was the disaster cuz I had my 16km route march while others have their 24km. It's quite fun to walk in the night although it's not cooling at all and most of us were like totally covered with sweat. Started from 330pm and ended at 1pm. Although it's only 16km, I really hope that it's gonna be the LAST route march and SOC in my whole life if I'm posted to MP. Haiz... I'm really starting to worry abt my posting result.

SIT test was horrible for me, but at least it didn't really affect me much since I'm not interested to go command sch at all. And when I was the I/C, all I could remember saying was "ya ya ya, good good, ok ok ok" etc. Piangz, and I think I used my eye power throughout the whole SIT test. Terrible, but wellz, I also don care. At least those "wayang" kings can stand out among us. And I was the first "casualty" of my detail and I think the 2 medics nearly fainted while carrying me on the stretcher.

The end of SIT test means no more major events except route marches and maybe IPPT. I think I've given up on my pull-ups liaoz. Piangz. It's so SIANZ to do AGR, strength, speed, arms drills and SOC trainings every now and then. Haiz, this sucks. SOC's jacob's ladder is the worst obstacle ever. I could actually "moon-walk" at the top for like a few minutes whereby on the other side 3 ppl had already cleared and those waiting behind me were like wondering wat on earth I'm doing. Maybe I shld try standing at the TOP of monkey bar for half an hour until I can control my legs from shaking too vigorously.

Back from the 11 days confinement. Surprisingly, field camp was much much more slack that what I had expected. It's like..u juz eat and wait and eat and wait and eat and wait... and do nothing most of the time! And weather was generally good throughout the 7 days arz, with only rain on 1 or 2 days. The onlky sh*t thing is my previous platoon seargent who is SUPPOSED to ORD came back to "help out" and he ended up scolding and punishing us like nobody's business till my friends in other platoons say they kinda pity my platoon.

Unlike other ppl, I generally hate powder bath. We had to transform ourselves with much green/black camou cream on our face to that of zhang ziyi in memoirs of a geisha. It's like we literally pour the whole bottle onto our face until it's like those Japanese geisha make-up. Kinda fun but it sucks during inspection becuz most of the time we have to put much much more powder. And cuz I didn't bring enough powder, I geenrally juz pretend to go for inspection and then I will juz pretend I have passed and quickly wear back my uniform.

One good thing for this field camp was cuz of the GENERAL ELECTION 2006. Although I know nuts what's happening outside, but wellz, most impt that most commanders were out to vote and so that leave us with one free technical break, which we ended up cleaning rifle which was kinda stupid becuz it got dirty very easily the moment we were in the field.

I hate trench digging on day6 cuz it was simply hell. I nearly fainted while digging cuz my grave was directly next to a tree and I think I spend more time trying to get rid of the tree roots rather than digging. We literally dug our own grave to sleep in and it was super uncomfortable and we were constantly sleeping in fear as we were kinda scared of insects. And when the commanders shouted at us and ask " U ALL SCARED OF BULLETS OR INSECTS?" , all of us juz shout "INSECTS!!" Piangz, I'm starting to worry abt Singapore's military defence le... With ppl like us..lolx.. The worst thing is when at around 5am, they started throwing lots of thunderflashes and need to do the stupid "arti drill" and everybody was like so blur and donno wat's goin on. And worse still, some of my friends could actually juz sleep throughout the whole process until the commander went to wake them up personally. Piangz, this kind is like even if the whole sky collapse they still continue sleeping arz.

Day 7 was not much better. Had the donno thingyi that we had to leopard crawl for 60m to 70m. Kaoz, I think I ended up dragging myself instead and in the process, I simply knocked myself on the rocks till I have bruises everywhere. All in all, we marched a total of 20km in the 7 days field camp. And yes, I learnt smth impt. NEVER ever run during route march. One guy from my company kinda "collapse" in the middle of the route march and his body temp was 43 deg cel. That's like "HUHZ!? Ain't it gonna cause death or brain damage" Piangz, and he was flown by helicopter to mainland S'pore hospital. Thinking of it is like kinda scary. 40 deg cel is already very serious, let alone 43.

Had my 'live' hand grenade throw today. It was generally okay as all I hope for was that there will be no 'blind'. Lucky there's only 2 blinds in the whole company, and so I think we ended pretty fast. Had my IPPT yesterday, and I cleared every station EXCEPT chin-ups. Shucks, 3 pull-ups which I did was NOT counted. Haiz, I guess I'm mentally prepared to fail my IPPT arz. Nvm, I don't intend to go command sch, so it makes no diff.

It seems that my whole platoon had one "common enemy" as he's literally the wayang king. 5 ppl had been selected to do guards duty on vesak day and the platoon seargent need one more name. He said that if he can't find 1, we'll play the "survival of the fittest" game, whereby every1 will vote the person they hate most, and the fact is that the WHOLE platoon wanna wrote this person's name down. But haiz, we didn't get to play this game in the end. And I can't believe that the person who go around spreading around to sabobtage to write this person's name..is actually his buddy! And it happened he's been the platoon I/C for the past FEW days and we were constantly scolded by him, especially during area cleaning whereby he will go comment on every section's claeniness and boss ppl around to clean. It's like when he turned his back around, every1 starts pointing middle finger at him.

Owellz, that's all I can remember for the events happening in the past 11 days.

3 weeks in NS already. Life passed so slowly in NS and I hate doing push-ups during PT lesson for I know my arms cnt take it. Weak I will say. As days passed, I get to see more "wayang kings" and boot-lickers. Maybe they r dying to go command sch or watz, but seriously I think some of them are so selfish and don really care abt welfare of others, how on earth can they be good commanders? Hmm.... If they really can get into command sch, I think I will start to worry abt the future of Singapore's SAF commanders standard.

Field camp is next, and so my next book-out is on 11th May. Haiz, that's like 10 days b4 my next book-out the day b4 Vesak Day. Meanwhile, I'm trying to think of things which I hope can "motivate" me during field camp.

Haiz. I failed my IPPT terribly. So sianz now. Surprisingly I think so far NS was better than wat I initially thought it will be. Maybe cuz now it's still in the 2 weeks adjusting period so tt's y they still close one eye. I think after the 2nd week will be hell arz. Haiz.

But on the lighter note, it seems that my platoon is the SLACKEST in the whole coy because most of my SGTs are very nice, as compared to other platoons. Phew. And one good thing is that my sectionmates are nice and friendly ppl who will really help me out. But haiz, the thought of my fitness result is so demoralising.

In roughly 12 hours time I'll most likely just reach tekong after taking the ferry ride. And most impt I think I've packed all my stuff. Both my hair and freedom will be gone by tml.

NS here I come!!!

I had a shock of my life when I saw how heavy I was while I stood on the weighing scale. Damn. I need to eat biscuits for breakfast, lunch and dinner from now onwards.

4 more days. I'm so "excited"!

Watched Campus Superstars. Quite expected la. As what I hoped, Teresa and Zhiayng got female and male champ respectively. Then final part, lolx..maybe due to the score that pulled teresa down, and so ZY became overall champ. Wellz, this 3 months of "craze" is finally over. I won't by bothered who's gonna get kicked out for the next round etc anymore.

6 more days to enlistment. I think I'm REALLY starting to feel that I'm gonna lose my freedom pretty soon, and everything is going to be under the control of other ppl. I hate it. Sucks.

Sometimes I think I would rather lead a lonely life and be a loner. I would want to be in my own world. I prefer to be by myself. I like doing things alone. And I think NS is gonna change my attitude towards being a loner. I don't know if it's good or bad. Whatever it is, we shall see.

I had a super weird dream last night, perhaps due to the fact I'm enlisting in around 8 days time and starting to feel abit panicky over it. I dreamt that going to tekong has much resemblance to that of going Hogwarts in the case of Harry Potter. Firstly, in Harry Potter, u will need to take a ferry ride across to Hogwarts, and that is like taking a ferry ride from the jetty to tekong. Secondly, when Harry Potter reached the Hogwarts, he was immediately being sorted out into different houses together with his other friends. The same goes for enlistees I guess. When u r there, u will be pretty nervous about which company u will be in. The only thing in REAL life is that u will NEVER get to see a 'live' sorting hat that takes all the responsibility of sorting the recruits. Perhaps u just have one sir telling u "Okay WeiYang, u r in XXX company". Bleahz, I must say my imagination is fertile. And of course, u won't get to see flying brooms everywhere. Instead, u may see grenades flying around. In the story of Harry Potter, there is this "forbidden forest" that has many dark secrets lying ahead. Well, same goes for Tekong I guess. I believe the so-called "forest" will seem eeric though I have no insights of how tekong is like. I'm starting to let my creative juice flow...lolx... But I guess I'm just being boliao here. The down side abt tekong as compared to Hogwarts is perhaps u won't get to learn magic or brew potions. Bleahz, I sound as if BMT is like going to be a "fun and magical adventure". Seems more like self-denial.

I deleted the questions-answers part in my previous post. Bleahz, in case the SMU ppl wanna read what I wrote juz now and I'll be dead.

Great. I screwed up my interview for SMU accountancy. Firstly, I was 15 min late for the interview, but to be more exact, I think I reach on the dot. They wanted me to reach 15 min earlier, which is 1030am, but I reached at exactly 1045am. Nvm, so when I was there, while trying to catch my breathe, the person told me to go for the interview IMMEDIATELY w/o even letting me rest 1st. Wth. Anyway, I realised that there were close to 10 ppl sitting down at the sofa waiting for the interview I guess, I seriously don't know why can't they allow these ppl to go 1st. Whateverz. So I went inside the room to see 2 men whom seem quite unfriendly. Anywayz, I was mentally prepared for the sarcastic remarks and questions to be thrown at me.

I just realised that SMU has quite tight security. Students need to tap their cards b4 they r allowed through the gates. Wow.... So high-tech. I think in NUS/NTU, u just walk in and out nobody will care 1 arz. NUS/NTU is so big, it's like even 20 ppl juz walk in from outside into the LT also can. SMU still must use security pass. Hmm....

And SMU is so demn small. If u look at the SMU map, u realised that the school of accountancy is the SMALLEST among all the buildings, excluding the library. Anywayz, it has only 5 stories for the acct building, but I think the business and econs/social sci buildings are much bigger and taller. Imagine this, I think the area of the acct building is around that of 2 times the size of a typical JC canteen. U can imagine how blardy small it is. And the fact that it's only 5 stories high really makes the whole building looks small overall.

Owellz, hope they won't deny me a place there. Those so-called "prospective students" over there all look so smart and confident. I think I was the only panicky person. Haiz, whatever arz, I expected myself to screw up the interview. Lolx... What's over is over.

11 more days to enlistment. Argz! I'm bored! I just realised that PS2 FF12 is out. I want to play, but I scared I will suffer from "sudden PS2 withdrawal symtoms", meaning if I were to play halfway and if I can't finish the game b4 I enlist, I'm gonna get restless in tekong. Bleahz. I don't wish for tt to happen to me.

Just a random thought. Sometimes I really wonder one thing. Why on earth is my eyesight so bad when so many others with perfect eyesights are using comp (or watch TV) as often as me. Damn. I want to go for the eye laser operation when I turn 21, which is roughly after my ORD. I want to go back to the time when I wake up and open my eyes everyday, I can see eveything clearly. (I started wearing specs in pri.2) Haiz. It's really horror to live w/o specs now. I'm as good as half a blind man when I don't wear anything. That reminds me of a scenario. If I am in the middle of a jungle fighting a war, and for some reason I lose my spectacles. Piangz. How on earth can am I goin to survive!? I can't possibly stick my head to about 10cm in front of him and then distinguish if he is a friend or foe. I will be dead by then. Haiz. I envy ppl with perfect eyesight.

Went for a swim at Bedok. It's been like 4 or 5 yrs since I last swam. And I had leg cramp after swimming for barely half an hour. But since it wasn't that serious, I continued swimming for another 1 hr. Bleahz, I think I swam a total of 7 or 8 laps (Assuming that one lap refers to swimming from start point to opp. and back to the start point... I've no idea wat one lap means) in 1.5 hrs. And most likely I swam the slowest since those ppl around me can swim faster. Even those old uncles can swim faster. Argz... I'm demn weak now. Must start traning everyday le!! I believe swimming does help in training one's stamina (other than juz plain running). So hopefully my 2.4km run timing won't be tt bad when I'm in. Haiz...

17 days to enlistment!!

I received a call today from SMU that I'm shortlisted for admission into Accountancy, and need to go for some dumbass interview next wed(29th March) and to bring a few documents. So troublesome, and I don really like this interview thingyi. It's as if SMU is some bigshot uni. Bleahz, nvm, as long can get in can liaoz, and hopefully they won't really mind my broken english when I speak to them. And as usual, they will start asking stupid ques like "what outstanding abilities do u possess" or maybe things like "y do u wan to come SMU" blah blah blah. Argz... Nvm, I think I shld be able to smoke thru this interview... I hope. Lolx...

Wasted tripS. So at abt 9am, I set off for Bedok Swimming Complex. When I was there, there was this sign there says some maintenance thingyi today, and will be closed, and that includes several other public swimming pools as well. Nvm, so I went to Tampines SAFRA there and reached at around 10am. When I was there. they were also having maintenance as well, and will only be open from 11am. I was so pissed. Nvm, I shall go again tml.

And hence, I decided to go cycling at East Coast (yet again). When I was cycling towards the west, and I believe I was sumwhere at kallang when it started drizzling. Damn. So I quickly cycled back all the way to the connector which link across ECP. Phew, I managed to cycle "faster" than the wind could blow the dark clouds towards me. (Ok, I donno wat english I'm toking) Just that I wasn't really caught in the rain at all, but I believe it was raining behind me. Owellz, when I was approaching Kembangan MRT station, it started to rain quite heavily. But since I was already sumwhere near my house, I'm too lazy to find a shelter and decided to cycled in the rain, for around 5 min b4 I reached back home. And when I was back home, after like 15 min, it stopped raining. @#$%^@#$%^&*

Conclusion: Today is simply not my day.

And again, my MSN list is half empty. Most of the guys r "MIA" either in OCS, SISPEC or some other units. Haiz, and again I'm gonna rot away while "looking forward" to my enlistment. Finally settled with all my 3 uni applications. And I donno wat's wrong with the unis. Last time during my sis's era, they nv have such system of writing essays. Kaoz, waste of ppl's time. Anywayz, I was just fooling around with my NUS application. Bleahz. Shaowei and Jingwen shld know y. But I also can't be bothered what course they give me in NUS, since I think tt $10 application fee is really for donation to NUS. -_-'''

I'M DEAD!

So I finally managed to force myself to cycle to East Coast, locked my bicycle and prepared myself for the "run". I think I ran barely 200m and I gave up. @#$%^&*@#$%^& Wth rite? How to pass IPPT next time? Damn it. So instead I think I forced myself to walk around 2km? I think so... and it was quite "pissifying" with all the small kids dashing out or blocking the road while I cycled my way back. All rite, it's sch holidays. They r there to enjoy themselves b4 boring lessons start again. Must understand. Next week East Coast park shall be dead empty by then, hopefully.... Then I can do some work-outs at those fitness stations while no1 is watching.

24 days to enlistment. Ho......

Wow, it's already sch holidays!? Though it's none of my business, but I hope the kids r in schools so that the shopping centres will be less crowded. Bleahz, unreasonable demand! I realised I'm starting to like DOTA a little bit. Though I'm a super newbie in it, but heyz, who knows if DOTA is going to revolve around my life for the next 2 yrs!? I'm still trying to learn to get a hang of it but I think I'm really CMI as compared to so many others. Shucks.

Ok. I found one post which I felt it's super horrible. Deleted it. Bleahz. I was writing nonsense. -_-''' Yucks. Disgusting piece of sh*t.

WOLF CREEK>>>>> BORING SHOW!!! I nearly fell asleep while watching. I think the main reason is becuz there's NO chi subtitles. Sucks. In case some who don't know, I have really really bad hearing problems when the "angmohs" speak. I think maybe becuz I nv hear enough of eng ever since young. They seem to speak alien language to me. Hence, I always stick to reading the subtitles whenever I watch eng movies. This means that half the show I don understand what on earth they r toking abt. Perhaps that explains why I really HATE listening to eng songs. Argz.... I rather listen to Jap/Kor songs which I don't understand totally, rather than eng songs which I half understand and half don understand.

CAMPUS SUPERSTAR!!! Lolx, so I was watching the recorded one as I reached home late, and soon after, it's the release of result. KHIM GOT OUT!? Wtf, she's been like consistently good for every single performance ever since the start of the competition and yet she got out!? But it was real lucky for dean to get in as she scored the lowest due to her forgetting the lyrics halfway thru. No comments for the guys. It's gonna get more exciting next week!

O.............. I juz remembered smth. Underworld Evolution is a dumbass show. Pls do not watch it. Waste my $$ watching tt stupid show. I can't figure out whose lycans and whose vampires. Maybe juz tt I'm lagged. But overall, that show is WEIRD as it has sex scenes in like the middle of all the fightings? And the werewolves look more like gorillas. Or maybe I'm the only one who can't appreciate that movie.

So I've been to nus, ntu, smu open house. Met quite a few ppl in the 3 unis. I think more or less I've settled on wat course I wanna take. No regrets.... I hope. But juz tt where shld I pursue my studies in. Ok, and after "much consideration", I believe that I would wan to go ntu. But nevertheless, I shld juz apply for all 3 in case I can't get into wat I want in ntu. Bleahz, and so I was told tt they will be admitting 600~700 students into ntu accountancy, and it happened so that the lecturers/students in ntu were saying tt acct is the no.1 hardest course to get into in ntu. That sucks. Hope they have one pathetic vacancy for me.

And so I was so bored that I started surfing the CCAs that are offered in NTU. Wow, unbelievable, there's like so many CCAs to choose from. And yaz, Shaowei was HAPPY when I show him the ntu floorball webpage. But some of the clubs/societies offered in NTU, 80% I feel that is so super boring. Sounds dull and dead. [As expected, they r not sports CCAs] Yaz, so toking abt sports CCAs, wow, they seem much better than what's offered in sec sch/jc. Okay, I still have 2 yrs of NS to go, maybe shld wait for another 2 yrs then tok abt it. Who knows where will I be then.

I realised many symptoms of STM in me. [STM = Short Term Memory] A sign that my brain is degenerating. I seem to be asking questions repeatedly though I really have no idea what I've mentioned it b4. But I hope I won't get any "stupider" when I get into NS. Owellz, 3 weeks and 5 days to enlistment.

So I've been listening to Jolin's "ni kuai le ma" more than any other songs I've heard in my whole life, I think. Anywayz, I don't know why I like tt song so much, lolx... Maybe cuz shermaine sang tt song? And talking abt CSS, haiz, the results are quite disappointing. Okay, in case I'm accused of anything, I hope dean, teresa, khim will get in for the gals. And for the guys, hopefully it's zhiyang, adriano and yuyang. Lolx... Ok, so I didn't mention who shall be out, but who shall be in instead.

Life is SO SO SO BORING>>>>>>> TO THE MAX!! How on earth am I going to adapt from a life of a pig to that of a soldier? I have 4 + weeks to enlistment. Ok, so I think I'm going to countdown to my enlistement date for my subsequent posts. 4 weeks seem long but I think I'm goin into tekong in no time. And the 1st batch r having their POP these few days!? Piangz, it's like so fast!? It seems that they enlist only a couple of weeks ago. But I believe tt 9 weeks in tekong will seem like 9 months to some ppl, like me? I've read and hear enough of horrible stories of tekong, like how tekong is "cursed" as so many ppl fall sick etc. Right now I can imagine that I will be longing for my comfortable bed in my air-con room while I sleep in the grave that I dig for myself in tekong? How I wish to have a comfortable warm bath while I'm wearing the uniform which I've not washed for 5 days? Ok, but the thought tt everyone will be going through this shit together with u makes me feel a little more relieved as u r not alone. If u feel bad, I believe there r always someone out there who feel worse than u. If u think u r weak, there r always someone out there who is weaker than u. Okay, this is pure "self-consolation" to make me feel better. Bleahz, anywayz, I was reading my resolutions for 2006 in one of the old posts. The first was fulfiiled, now I'm left with one and only one resolution, which is to slack throughout in NS! I felt slightly better cuz I'm in sch1, as I compare my friends who are in sch1 and sch2, sch1 seems alot more "slack" than sch2. Sch2 seems like hell. Hopefully I'm right. BUT I HOPE they won't swap the the officers in sch2 originally to sch1. If not tt's gonna be hell, and yaz, hope I will be posted to some "taures"-alike COY. Most ppl reading my blog shld know what I mean. Anywayz, hope it's going to be plain-sailing for me in time to come.

A few things I "foresee" I'm gonna die in.

IPPT - I think I will do 0 pull-ups. I'm fat n weak like a pig now.
Shooting - I'm PA JIAO arz, what do u expect!? I'm gonna shoot the mozzies and ants (hmm...tt sounds like mengyang's wife)
SOC - I'm gonna get stuck at low wall. Or maybe the "pyramid" thingyi where u need to step on logs. I think I'm gonna step onto empty air.

Ok, other than that, I hope I can survive the rest. Even if I don survive, I hope that many ppl will screw it up totally with me so that I'm not alone (tt sounds evil). The ONLY good thing abt beling enlisted in April is that u will already roughly know WHAT to expect in BMT and how to smoke ur way thru, as the Jan batch will share their experiences with u. Okay, now that the Jan batch r having their 12 days break, it's time to jot down every single tips that u ever need to survive. Then I shall compile it up to form a book: "101 ways to survive in tekong BMT". Lame.

Some bi*ch simply turns me off.

CCD D7 go NTU engineering lar. If not go private-u. Worse come to worse go poly lar. Wtf.

As I was telling MengYang today abt a bad dream that I had last night. When I woke up, I was in tears, and I think my pillow was partially wet.

I dreamt that MOE has arranged for some "guinea pigs" to do the trial run for the H1/H2 subjects system. I was in my 4e1 class. Yes, it's sumthing abt bringing the H1/H2 system to O-levels (Don't ask me why my imagination is so fertile) Anywayz, it's O-LEVEL for goodness sake. Only those who were in JC taking Chemistry were selected. That includes quite a few like MY, SW, GX, Loo, Denzil, Johanna, Melina, Xueli and a few more. It's suppose to be a trial run for Chemistry, and so the person holding the "lecture" is none other than my chem teacher Mrs Sharon Kang. (My Gosh) The topic was on organic chem. Oyaz, btw, we were all in our JC uniform. (Don't ask me why wear JC uniform in sec sch class) Mrs Kang was frantically flashing the transparency at a super fast rate, and everyone was busy copying down the notes. I think I was too lazy to do anything then. Anywayz, soon after the lesson, we have a so-called "surprised test". So we cannot refer to anything and I remember clearly that the 1st question was "Draw the structure of propanoic acid" Everyone was busy writing the answer, but for some reason I didn't know what is that n so I leave it blank. And true enough, EVERYONE knows the answer except me. Mrs Kang walked towards me n kind of asked me why I left it blank. I was like telling her I don't know the answer. N soon after, she started scolding me like nobody's business as if I've juz committed some terrible sin. And I think the whole class was like looking at me. She scolded me till I broke down into tears and poof! I woke up with tears in my eyes. I think maybe this is an indication that I've flunked A-level Chem.

O yeah, K-boxing was fun! Wahahaz, we tried singing all the "high-level" songs. Piangz, and I think most guys seriously can't sing high pitch songs. But wellz, who cares, as long we enjoy ourselves then I think it's enough. So 3 of us spent 4.5 hours singing. Owellz, n I think I repeated quite a few songs as I know very few chi songs, not like MY and Joel. Too bad I can't find BoA's songs if not............ Lolx... nvm.

Pardon my grammatical errors.

For once I didn't have to do call backs the whole day. Guess I'm really sick of using the phone, or shld I say sick of talking to ppl. N so for today, I did 3 hrs of call-backs and another 3 hrs doing data-entry. My gosh, the comp is so freaking LAG and is so demn boring. Argz.. But one good thing is that no1 was there supervising and I get to really type at my own sweet time. Since it's fixed pay per hour, wellz, might as well type slowly. Hmm... And I think I'm sick of looking at survey forms. Kaoz.. The sight of having to type like tens or even hundreds of survery form answers into the comp is really demn sianz.

So I had one super weird dream ystd. Ok, it's not tt scary, but it's just weird. I was looking at the A-level result slip that my civics tutor passed to me. Ok, then I look at it, there were 4 subjects. I got some alphabets grade for maths, chem and phy, but tt's not the main point. I was looking at "Biology" and next to it, there was a number that says "19". That's the weird part, as I donno wat "19" means, so I asked my tutor wad on earth is tt, y isn't it some alphabet grade instead. Then she told me "19" is the "score" tt I'm supposed to get. And so I got abit pissed off and started arguing with my civics tutor wat crap is this. Then after that she told me that I took "H1 Biology" and that I am not allowed to use Bio as the best 3 A-levels subject, and so it doesn't matter whether is it "19" or whatever shit. I was like freaking puzzled and abit pissed off. And nvm, then I realised that I couldn't find "general paper", and so I asked my tutor that why on earth is my GP grade not on tt stupid result slip. And I think she kind of replied smth such as cuz I didn't do well for GP, so it's doesn't really matter if I have my GP grade on it, since it won't make a difference. I think at that moment I was so fuming mad as I don't even have the right to know how badly I did for my GP. Ok, then I think I started hitting everyone around me like some mad guy and soon after, I woke up. Owellz, it's quite a weird dream ar? Still donno how on earth I can actually dream abt doing "H1 Biology". And up to now I've been trying hard to think wat "19" stands for. Wah kaoz, but 19 sounds like a "fail" grade lehz. Haiz... nvm.

Chinese New Year is finally over! Lolx.. counting down..around 7 weeks + a few days to enlistment. So I've been working as a telephone surveyor for 2 days, on fri and sat. What can I say, it's quite ok as u get to work in a comfortable environment. All the conversations were recorded down and u actually get to hear ur own voice. I was listening to the very first conversation I had. Kaoz, I was like thinking y my voice sounds so horrible and like coarse. I can't even really understand what I'm talking, let alone other ppl. Anyway, after making calls to near to like 60 ppl, I think I've improved, but it's still so demn horrible. It's like imagine u hear this kind of voice in radio FM, u will surely feel turned off and feel like slamming ur radio tt kind. Some of the things to take note of.

1) Cut down on SINGLISH. I think my supervisor wanna give up already when I keep saying all the "lar", "loh" and whatever u can think of. Ok, must speak in standard English so as to make yourself sound professional.

2) It really tests you LISTENING COMPRE skills. Yes. Imagine if u ask one question and the customer started talking a mixture of relevant and irrelevant stuff, I'll need to filter away the rubbish and write down only the relevant ones. When ppl said "self-employed", I can actually hear "sales-employed". I have quite abit of hearing problem.

3) Even though the survey is in English, you must KNOW how to translate into Chinese if it happens that ur customer is chi-speaking. Okay, that sucks becuz I don really know how to translate some technical terms like "nanotechnology" and some other terms I seldom heard of.

4) Learn to be polite. Even if the person scolds vulgarities or scold u and start slamming the phone, you will still need to smile and say "Have a nice day. Thank you. Bye." Wtf, that's so sucks.

Nvm, tml is the last day of the project. I think it's gonna be the last day I'm working. I can't speak proper English. Forget it, find a new job on Tues.

A low self-esteem person who likes to have all the pessimistic thoughts. That's me. For some "weird" reason, I don't know why recently I keep thinking of some horrible stuff like death or whatsoever. Sometimes I feel like as if I'm some 80 yrs old "ah pek" ar. No life, no energy. Worse still, no dreams, no aims or whatsoever. In the middle of no where, n I don't know what I really wan. Other than the fact that the coming 2 yrs I'm gonna stuck in NS, I feel so worthless. Like the junk of the society. Argz... Hell with all the negative thoughts.

Recently someone asked me what is life? I said donno lar. N he told me life is abt TRYING to make a living. Kinda stunned at the reply. But thinking for awhile, that's quite true ar. Life is so dull and boring for me, at least for the time being. Haiz, wasting earth's oxygen supply or whatever there is.

2 months have passed and left another 2 months to NS. Owellz, 50% of my so-called holidays is over. That's pretty fast, but yet pretty slow. I will need to spice up my life or I think I will gonna go insane. Seeing everyone busy with studying or with NS or with work, that just makes me jealous. Sounds contridicting but I realised what I really want is something to keep me occupied to the max. so that I won't let my thoughts run wild. It's only then I realised blogging is one thing which keeps me occupied. Lolx..so juz allow me to continue with my rubbish.

I think I complained to a few ppl b4, but can't remember who. Anywayz, it's abt the fact tt I'm enlisted in April. I was like over the moon when I received the letter that I'm enlisted in April... But now? Kaoz, I swear I wish I'm now in some stupid field camp in some ulu jungle of tekong now. All the shit abt what enjoying civillian life b4 NS. Piangz, craps! If what I predict is gonna be true, then I believe that 2 yrs later when the 2006 Jan batch of NS guys ORD liao, I bet they r going to waste their time away doin nth as well, n will be like me now, wasting life away. Sighz.

Life is so boring. Anyone cares to give me counselling on 10 reasons why life rocks?

Fell sick today. And vomited once. Piangz, but then I was telling my mother maybe it ain't a bad thing after all. On average, I realised that I will fall sick once a year. Not more or not less. Exactly once a year. So since I've fallen sick for the year 2006, hopefully I'm not going to get SICK again in NS, after seeing so many of my friends who are in so bad conditions after juz 3 weeks of BMT. There was once I actually asked my friend if he's actually "poisoned" or wat. Now that I have almost the whole time to myself, not having to worry abt missing lessons or wat, it's just the "right" time to fall sick. Nvm, I making myself sound as if I'm "happy" to fall sick. -_-'''

I'm starting to get paranoid after toking to the teachers who have taught me b4 in sec sch, when visiting them today. Piangz, roughly 2 weeks or so to "heart attack". Haiz... 2 weeks will pass very fast 1. Can't be bothered. But now I'm more interested in using the bicycle which I think I've not used for 6 years to cycle. Hope nth goes wrong with tt bicycle, as I think maybe I will want to use it to cycle to East Coast. Lolx..It's been like such a looooong loooooooong time since I last cycled, but it's time lose some FATS. Piangz, I'm so heavy and weak now. Gosh... I doubt I have the determination to "condition" myself to a "desired state" b4 NS.