So I met my chem teacher Mdm Neo today while on my way to PR. And she said I'm mad. Am I?

Mdm Neo: So how much u sleep a day recently?
Me: Hmm...last night I slept from 3am to 7am then I start mugging le.
Mdm Neo: R u mad? Even I need a min. of 6 hours of sleep a day. ( In case u don't know, she is a teacher capable of marking 3 classes of 10 essays, nearly a total of 700 essays within 5 days. )
Me: Hmm...well, I drank lots of coffee and ate lots of ginseng powder.
Mdm Neo: O gosh, u better don't fall sick.

blah blah blah....

Mdn Neo: So what have you studied so far?
Me: Wellz... I started on maths, bio and phy.... But I haven touched chem ever since farewell assembly.
Mdm Neo: .................................

blah blah blah....

Mdm Neo: Why didn't u stay in MJC after ur 1st 3 mths?
Me: Owellz... reason is obvious... **censored**
Mdm Neo: Ya...quite true, I heard alot of complaints too... **censored** So u know how good our principal is. **censored**

And so after seeking my parents' "consultation", I've decided to drop physics. And yes, the next time I touch physics will be perhaps 3 weeks from now, after GP paper. How well I can do for physics depends on tt 2 days to study the whole syllabus plus abit of how much I can remember till then. Feel so much relax now. 2 weeks to "chiong" GP, chem, maths and bio. "Wasted" this whole weeks studying physics and bio option, only realise to my horror tt I shld have wait till after chem P1 then study it!! Haiz... poor management.... But nvm, 2 weeks. I will treasure my these 2 weeks. I shall get my AAB and ? for phy.

To hell with physics from today onwards. No more E = mc^2, E = hf or F = GMm/r^2 or whatever physics formula. And yes, most importantly to hell with physics of fluids which I've yet to do my tutorial. Physics sucks big time.

Don't know shld I feel happy or what. 8th April 2006 (Sat), 3rd week of term2. Some of my friends were like telling me how "lucky" I am, abt how it sucks to be enlisted in Jan. Owellz... but then again, I've not heard of any1 who's enlisted in the same day as me. This is abit "scary"... Haiz, juz hope that soon "some" ppl I know can get enlisted in the same day as me.

3 months of freedom in the new year. Hopefully my application to be a relief teacher is successful, so at least I won't waste my time. And at least doing something "productive". But it's still too early to say tt though... Owellz.. wait till after A-levels then decide bah.

I notice I seem to suffer from lots of "shortness of breath" every now and then. High blood pressure or tension or donno what shit. My bio sucks. The tons of bio information that I need to memorise (EXCLUDING option) really make my blood boil recently. The time taken to finish the whole physics syllabus is less than the time I take to finish one stupid bio option. Wtf...

My father told me to sacrifice either bio or phy so that I have more time to study GP. He said PASSING GP is more impt than doing well for the other A-level subjetcs. Owellz, true to certain extent... But I'm so seriously at a loss what can I do to improve my GP grade. Will dropping one subject make me do well for GP!?

Like a 400m race. I've run 350m and now u wan me to give up the race for one sub? Is it worth it? I don't know... In a state of confusion. And yes, wasting my precious time thinking of such stupid things instead of doing smth more productive.

As more ppl are getting their enlistment letters (Ya...I think there are almost 9 ppl who have their enlistment dates as their nicks out of my 72 MSN contacts), I think chances of me getting enlisted in April is higher. That's good, as I think ppl who will be enlisted in April won't receive their enlistment letters that fast. Phew... But thinking back... SO MANY of my friends are enlisted in Jan, I think I'm like the only "loner" that may get enlisted in April!? Argz... Like that how to survive BMT w/o friends around!? Haiz... What do I want? Hoping I can get enlisted in April so that I can go Korea or shld I hope that I get enlisted in Jan as at least I've some friends to depend on? Sianz diaoz. But again, it's not up to me to choose.... Haiz...

More and more ppl are putting their enlistment dates as their MSN nick. -_-''' And to think that my father gave me a "SURPRISE" when he lied to me he has gotten my NS enlistment letter... Argz... When will I receive mine!?

Thank God I passed my NAPFA, or I'll be enlisted on 8th Dec. And may I get my enlistment letter ASAP. Please don't come in the midst of my A-levels to tell me I will be enlisted on 5th Jan 2006. I will have a mini heart attack. I still want to go on my Korea trip, I still wanna work as a relief teacher. SO PLEASE ENLIST ME IN APRIL!

Perhaps the most embarrassing day of my life. 14 Oct 2005. I swear I won't forget this date. I think even in my dreams will I think of it. Now I'm too "traumatized" to do anything now. Haiz.

All right, the farewell assembly was much similar to that of HaiSing's one. Owellz, but I really enjoyed the video which last for donno how long, about our 2 years in TPJC. Frankly speaking, I think I won't miss TPJC as much as I miss HaiSing. Perhpas the JC education is only 2 years, too short a time to feel that "attached" to the sch. Nevertheless, I know the teachers have really put in the utmost effort in pushing us for better grades. For that, I'm really thankful for their contributions. While wacthing the video, it reminded me of HaiSing, where they showed us the activities we have done before, pics of teachers and students, and of course the funny clips. And ya, nobody says JC education is a bed of roses. So don't expect all teachers to be angelic. Though I know I expect "too much" from the teachers sometimes, but owellz, must stop blaming teachers all the time. We decide our own future, not the teachers.

While I think back, sometimes I wonder why I restrict myself from building a better friendship with them. Some of them were so tired of asking me out, ever since the numerous rejections I've given them. And surprsingly, I realise that I'm not close to any of the gals in my class. We spoke perhaps less than a few lines, and that's like once a few months. Anti-social? I don't know, but perhaps I just don't feel secure in confining things to them.

However, I'm so glad that I've made a few good friends in my class although we were those that only hang out during lesson time and never really go out after school. Without these ppl, I think I won't be able to survive my 2 years in TPJC and the "terror" of PW.

Owellz, shall post a "personal tribute" to these ppl, perhaps after my A-levels. For now, the only thing we can do is to mug, mug and mug.

And finally, I've watched finish the whole of Da Chang Jin. And yes, the next thing I should curb is to stop watching SCVs, or most importantly, any TV shows!

Count down to end of hell in 7 weeks time. To me blogging is a form of "stress-reliever", and so I will continue to blog till perhaps one week b4 A-levels then must totally stop coming online. And yes, finally I managed to curb myself from coming online during weekdays.

Life basically revovles around tys, tys and tys. Or perhaps other schs' prelims papers. Whatever it is, I think I really mug like siao during weekdays like never before. From morning till the night, my only form of "relaxation" is perhaps "Da Chang Jin" which I think will end by next week. And after Da Chang Jin must mug like siao again. Haiz, think I really deserve to rest during saturday. Slept from 6 am to 12pm, ate lunch then sleep till 5pm. Wah kaoz... Dumb ar, now I learnt my lesson nv to study overnight outside again. I will die. And I think I sleep even more. Kaoz.

One more week to farewell assembly! Argz... Finally... Been waiting for this day for a long time. And yes, phy tutorial is still a "no ques then pls shut up n do ur own work" kind of tutorial. After farewell assembly phy and maths tutor will be away to be chief examiners of VJC and MJC respectively. Then say if really desperate for consultation then go VJC or MJC find them. Siaoz, as if cnt find other tutors. Lame.

For now, I shall "cherish" the last 5 days with my classmates. *cough*

Now... I've come up with this "ingenious" plan of how I can stop myself from coming online during weekdays. Ya, I've tried to exercise self-control in the past but seems like I just can't resist the temptation of switching on my comp. Got this idea from one of the DJs from F.M 933.

Owellz... This is a 100% 'guarantee chop' way in which I know I will succeed in controlling myself..... Yes... 8 weeks of hell will soon be over. But for now.... Haiz...

Just watched finish FF7 Advent Children. Wow... That movie is fantastic! The characters are much real-life than that of the game. But it's kinda short ar, 1 hr 30 min only. Tifa is so demn chio ar! Abit resemblance to Rinoa of FF8. Owellz, really worth watching, it's highly recommended.

Gotten back all the papers except for GP. Don't dare to get back GP.... My tutor had a SHOCK of her life when I told her the ques I attempted. She said the whole cohort out of 700+ students, only 12 students did tt ques. -_-''' Screwed ar, whatever ar, but consolation is more than half the students failed for any of the 12 questions they attempted. Phew... So I'm not alone. But wah kaoz, I don't want to break the record of getting F9 lehz. Please..... Let me get an E8 at least. Is really pathetic enough for sum1 to aim for an E8 in any exam. Haiz... GP sucks.

After this prelims, 3 students in my class have "officially" dropped one subject. They are given the permission to "skip" lessons for tt subject and up to them to choose whether they wanna take the A-levels exam anotz. Haiz... I'm scared. I'm really scared. I know I don't have much time left. One additional subject is really a burden. And I still have GP to worry abt. This sucks. I don't know what I'm doing now.

Now then I know the seriousness of one subject. Now then I know why MOE can allow us to take 8 O-level subjects but 3 A-level subjects. Biology or Physics? I really don't know.

Went to Kbox with Joel, Hung, Lyn and Loo, to celebrate loo's belated b'dae. Owellz, sang from 7.40pm or so to 1030pm. Wow.... Lyn and Hung are great singers. Joel and Loo also very good! HaIz, I think I'm the only cRoW there, so paisehz. Then summore I listen to J-pop and K-pop 1, seldom listen to Chinese songs, go there alot of songs also donno how to sing. -_-''' Worse still, alot of chinese words I cannot read!!! Wah piangz, I think I seriously have lost touch with chinese liao. Must learn to appreciate government's effort in promoting chinese: "Chinese is cool".

Owellz, after that we were just loitering around the area outside MRT station there, thinking where to go. Harz.. In the end we just stood there and tok for awhile b4 all of us went back home. Waited till 1230am to watch my "Da Chang Jin".

Side-tracked abit. I'm a chao lagger.

Was reading my friend's friend's friend's blog. Ya... Real boliao, nth to do mah. Anyway, this lady, who's 1 yr older than me, was from haising and tpjc. Though I've no impression that this person existed in my sec sch/jc, but she looks kinda familiar... Owellz, that's not the main point, is smth that she wrote in a recent post that attracted my attention. (Btw, since she's currently studying in NUS sci, so I presume she must be quite good in her A-level result.)

From her blog:

"I may not be all that loyal to my college. But don't you dare say that people from my college are indolent and not intelligent again. Your college isn't any better for it produces nothing but people like you who are the typical Singaporean Chinese. Being Industrious? uh uh i think that's SELFISHNESS. or maybe... shd i say??? kiasu?? Disgusting behaviour."

It's kinda sad though to hear that. While u r in the SAME jc, some ppl from top sec schs will tend to look down those from neighbourhood sec schs. Wellz, that's kinda normal ar. I've seen that and experienced that until I'm immune to it. Think most of my sec sch friends have experienced that as well.

But it's kinda sad that when u move on to a uni, of the SAME uni, ppl from top JCs still look down on those from neighbourhood JCs. But then it's kinda expected ar. Even b4 I need to go uni, I've experienced that now. SO WHAT if sum of u r from good JCs? Kaoz, that doesn't mean u will do well in ur A-levels lor. Though we're from tpjc, we may not have done well for O-level, that doesn't mean we won't do well for A-level!! Bloody hell, curse those snobs from top JCs to fail their A-levels!!

Ya, I know I'm not committed to tpjc, just like the lady above. However, since she can get into the same Uni, the same course as the snobs mentioned in her blog, this shows that she's not as "stupid" as proclaimed by the snobs mentioned in her blog. Bloody hell, I make sure I better do well for my A-levels and show those snobs from top JCs that they ain't the only ones who can do well lor. F***.

Maybe those who have read my a previous post of mine will know that I'm kinda pissed off by my sch students also. Ya, why is that so? Cuz of the same reason. Seriously, I'm only against those who think that they are from GOOD sec schs and therefore won't need to worry abt their A-levels and think that O-level is just a "minor fall" but they will regain their GLORIES in A-level just like how they did in their PSLE. Fcuk, screw these ppl man. Once again, I curse that these ppl really fail their A-levels and keep on dreaming abt getting their "AAAA" grades just like how they did in their PSLE.

Okay, no use wasting energy talking sense into these ppl. So to my friends out there, we shall do well for our A-levels and show these SNOBS that they ain't the only smart ppl around.

Now that prelim is officially over, I've been thinking abt smth. No, nth to do with studies.

It's just that I suddenly have this "weird" feeling to quickly finish A-levels and move on to NS. Lolx, I know I used to "fear" NS in the past, having to be allocated into different "PES" or whatsoever. But owellz, I have a completely diff. mindset now. I actually look forward to NS! Lolx... Is either I'm so sick of my present life in a JC or I'm so desperate to move on to the next phase of life. I think most likely is the latter. I keep wondering which unit will I be posted to after BMT. Will I be able to get along with my platoon mates? Will there be alot of snobs around? Or worse still, a freaking demanding officer-in-charge!?

If I'm not wrong, those who will get enlisted in Dec will receive their enlistment letter by Oct, which is 2 mths earlier. Arz... that means those TAF ppl will start receiving liao ar. Lolx... Haiz, donno when will I receive.

Enlist early = No Korea trip + no part-time job.
Enlist late = Other ppl "O.R.D" liao u still in NS!?

There's nth we can do abt it though... Okay, don think too much abt NS ar. Haven cleared A-level yet. Today is rest day. Tml must.....

Feel so relaxed now! Lolx... left one pathetic Bio P1 tml.... siaoz... who on earth will study for it?

Yesterday's Bio P3 was kinda disastrous. I think the WHOLE world wrote oestrogen... I wrote progesterone... -_-!!! And I don't know what rubbish I wrote for the 12 marks essay ques on fertilisation. Think this P3 shld be worse than P2, which was already bad enough...

Arz... Maths P2... Definitely much better than P1.... But then never complete the paper. Owellz... Nvm... Hopefully can pull up the overall marks. Chem P1 also no time to finish, anyhow tikam for 5 questions or so.

Pity the bio students. Non-bio students must be enjoying themselves now....

I nearly had an heart-attack just now. Dennis and Rachel should know why. Wellz...

See no evil. Hear no evil. Smell no evil. Feel no evil. Speak no evil. And most importantly...

TYPE NO EVIL!!

Okay...lalala... nth happened. Today is a fine day!

I wish I can take a break now. But I can't.

I wish I can just rest for now. But I can't.

I wish I can free myself from all the work I'm doing now. But I can't.

I know procrastination is cancer. 2 days is definitely not enough. I must force myself.

For what I want to achieve, I must endure.

With vision and dream, all that you are doing is worthwhile.

Stick to the fight when you are hardest hit.

It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

I wanted to sleep now, but the terrible headache I'm having keeps me awake. As I play my favourite songs, they sound more like noise than pleasant music. I know my body is tired but my mind says otherwise. Haiz, this sucks. Owellz, really nth I can do except to come online and blog. Not even to listen to music. Arz... for once I understand what is meant by "silence is golden"....

Wahahaz... The phy teacher put the phy P1 MCQs answer online. Lolx... scroed 21/30. But then P2 and P3 GG liao ar. Kaoz.. nvm... at least can "increase" the overall marks by a little bit ar.

Down with a terrible flu now. Feel so drowsy ar!! I was thinking of starting Bio P3 option today. But owellz, seems like have to push back to tml or wat ar. 5 chaps in 2 days! Nvm, shld be able to cover finish ar.... hopefully... Haiz.

Finally it's Friday!!! I'm so brain-dead now. Nvm, have the weekend to rest...

Owellz, after having done Physics P1, P2 and P3, and after estimating the marks I think I'll get or lose, I think p(Getting AO grade) = 0.9 and p(Tyco E grade) = 0.1. I thought P3 was bad enough, even those phy S-paper students also said it's hard. I was thinking perhaps P2 will be easier than P3... but turns out to be the other way round. Kaoz, almost EVERYBODY I know of doesnt really know how to do that 20 marks data-analysis ques. Haiz, like my friend was telling me that if anybody can get a decent 'C' grade for this phy prelims will confirm get 'A' grade for A-level.... Lolx...

Chemistry P2 and P3 were do-able. But donno got careless mistakes anotz. But definitely chem is better than the horrid phy.

Maths P1 - Wah kaoz, I think around 45 marks blank + wrong lor. But I think shld be able to just pass ar. Nvm, still got maths P2.

Bio P2 - Sturctured-ques were okay. But then I left 1 out of the 6 ques blank. Some stupid bacteria DNA & genetic engineering ques. But apparantly everybody I know of left that ques blank. Lolx...so not too bad, at least die together as a cohort. Essay I think I juz wrote some rubbish out. And sane person who looks at the length of my essay answer will know I'm in great danger of failing it. SUPER short answers ar. Kaoz...

Half the battle more to go. Must work hard. No slacking.

The worst thing that can ever happen to you in GP Paper1 is not when u can't think of enough points to write. Yes. The worst thing is when u misinterpret the essay ques and u r so sure u are going to get perhaps single digit for ur essay? Owellz, what a bad start for prelims. Shouldn't have done that ques. And I was asking around and seems like I'm the only idiot I know that attempted that ques. Haiz, screwed. Totally screwed.