Booking of Tests...

So today I went to book 2 tests!

First is my upcoming Bunka Intermediate 2 placement test this coming Wednesday. Wellz, 30 minutes written test and 15 min Oral test. Wtf, I've a feeling I'm gonna flunk it. Whatever lar hor, today n tml juz mug n mug then Wednesday juz vomit everything out. Bleahz.

And next is I went down to CDC to book my Basic Theory Test on 9th July(Monday). Haiz, still a long way to go. I think by the time I can take my driving practical test is already Mid 2008 lar. Haiz, sianz. But nvm lar, before uni starts can get my driving license can liaoz.

Haiz, now I juz feel short of cash lar. Piangz... so many courses to attend...

So now I juz wish that I won't be speaking alien language to the examiner on Wed.... And hopefully no glaring grammatical mistakes as well....

Continue with "Ni-hon-go"

So ever since I came back on Tuesday, I've been immersing myself in TEXTBOOKS. O yes, elementary Japanese textbooks. Sometimes I feel that I'm just so retarded when comes to language, and I always assume that all I need to do is to "memorise" everything and that's it. Bleahz, how wrong can that be!? I can't even get SIMPLE basic grammar facts right, like that how to proceed onto higher levels?

And staying at home to study will only end up me using the comp most of the time. -_-''' Hence, perhaps it's time I start going Airport or Library and blend into the crowd of students mugging intensively for theirs exams.

And whatever is the case, now my aim is by Mid-June I will finish up to lesson25 of "Minna No Nihongo" book and then I will start enrolling for lesson liaoz. If not I think I sure donno what the hell I'm learning. So for this upcoming 6 to 7 weeks, it'll be INTENSIVE mugging until I can master till lesson25 before I can "proudly" apply for evaluation test of Bunka Intermediate 2 course. Muwhahahaz. Hope by then I won't screw things up.

Life Sucks

I've been coughing non-stop ever since I come back Singapore. Vomitted a few times. But I just can't be bothered to see a doctor. Haiz.

I just feel so weak and sick lar. Haiz. But I believe that is not the main problem. I just feel lousy deep in within. Life's such a struggle living a lifestyle which u just hate so much. Frankly speaking, I do admit I'm a loner in my unit. There just isn't someone in my unit whom I can confide my problems in. And the thought of having to interact and see some people EVERYDAY just makes me feel sick. Life is just so miserable when u realised u have to keep everything to urself and not let it out loud. Deep inside, I just feel lonely and miserable and farked up lar.

Life sucks. I wish I can just sleep forever and never wake up.

Thank you S1 Branch

Back in S'pore after 29 days in Taiwan. And I'm left with 295 days till I ORD. Haiz.

Seriously, I just can't stand working with some people lar. Okay, I don't care whether anyone in my S1 Branch is gonna read my blog. U know what? Fuck it. I just want to let this out in my blog and don give a shit if u people ever read it.

Yes, on the very last day S1 called for an unusual Branch meeting and want us to settle our disputes. I know I sure do act cold and problematic to u people. Pls don't assume that just beacuse I say "Sir, my problem has nothing to do witht the branch. The problems lie in me" will mean that YOU people are innocent? **PUKE**!! I just don't wish to make things miserable for both parties. And yes, when u people want to talk bad abt ppl, pls don assume that other ppl r asleep already. When u wan to talk bad abt ppl in the toilet, pls check that the person is not in the cubicle. Sometimes perhaps I just want to thank you people on letting me know how u ppl think of me. Thanks arz.

You all really think I enjoy working with u all meh? PLS LAR. I'm only trying to make my remaining 10 months in 4SIR less misrable lar. Minus one month of clearing leave and off, left 9 months. If this is not ARMY I swear I sure blow my top off onto u ppl lar. Yes, Army really test my patience and limits to the maximum. You people, whom I used to call "f-r-i-e-n-d-s" are just a bunch of LOSERs in my eyes now. Yes, I look down and despise all of you. The sight of you people just irks me and make my blood boil. I will just treat you people as INVISIBLE men for the next 9 months or so. Seriously, I don't know how on earth next time I'm gonna tolerate staying in the office the WHOLE day working with you people.

Don't worry. I would just pretend nth has happened and continue to "work" with you ppl. Take it as a good training for me when I go n work in the corporate world in the near future. Thank you S1 branch for such an opportunity to stretch my limits to the max.

All right, today marks my 18th day in Taiwan. I still have 11 days more before I go back Singapore. Now i'm at my camp's cookhouse using some shitty computer that allow me to use Internet for 15min at NT10 (S$0.50). Piangz, I think I spent too much money already. Where on earth got people like spend about to S$100 just on "Ninja van" food 1!?

Wah kaoz, I think I've been eating way TOO MUCH that I'm suspecting I've gained like 5kg compared to before I left for Taiwan. The food from the Ninja van are demn nice lar. Large, crispy "Zha Ji Pa", "Tian Bu La", "Jian Bing" and alot more. No wonder some ppl say we don't lose weight when we come to Taiwan.

And finally I've done all that I need to do for the R&R. Hotel allocation, Bus allocation, meal table seating allocation and plane seating allocation. Phew, finally me and my friend finished them all. Now just tahan 7 more days before off we got to KaoShiung for our R&R!!!

But then again, I think temperature can be freezing out there at night, with the temp dropping as low as 12 deg cel, according to the officers. That's like HELLO!?... It's demn blardy cold when the wind blows lar. Okay lar, although the temp cannot be compared to that in Japan winter, but it's still quite inbearable especially when u only wear your no.4 uniform. Bleahz. At least it's better than the hot weather in SIngapore.

And surprisingly, I don't feel home-sick as what I've expected initially before I came. Indeed, time flies over here as you are kept busy doing all the sai-kang. Although feelings of sianzness may come especially during weekends when u will be thinking "what the fark I'm doing here". I think I will miss the training in Taiwan. At least it's 100000000000000000 times better than back in Singapore. Going back Singapore just makes me feel "SIANZ" lar. How I wish for an overseas posting to Taiwan. But fark, I'm already a second yr soldier and I think the chance is demn low arz. Nvm, perhaps I will try to appeal for a min. 6 months posting to Taiwan if possible. But haiz, thinking how FARK my unit is at retaining people from posting out is just so @#$TY#$%^ lar. What to do... Suck thumb and tahan for another 10 more months bahz.

Japanese Citizenship and PR

Okay, I got these info from: http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Japanese_Immigration_Law

Permanent residency
Permanent residency (永住権 eijuken) is the strongest form of landing permission, granting the bearer the right to live and work in Japan indefinitely. It must be applied for and obtained within Japan, generally after five to ten years of continuous residency there.

One major advantage of permanent residency is that financial institutions often deny loans to foreigners who are not permanent residents.

And now comes to "Naturalization". In case some of u donno the meaning of Naturalization, pls see : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalization

In law, naturalization refers to an act whereby a person acquires a citizenship different from that person's citizenship at birth. Naturalization is most commonly associated with economic migrants or refugees who have immigrated to a country and resided there as aliens, and who have voluntarily and actively chosen to become citizens of that country after meeting specific requirements.

Aiyaz, in short means change citizenship lorz.

Naturalization

The criteria for naturalization are provided in Articles 4 through 10 of the Nationality Law:
1) Continuous residence in Japan for five years or more
2) At least 20 years old and otherwise legally competent
3) History of good behavior generally, and no past history of seditious behavior
4) Sufficient capital or skills, either personally or within family, to support oneself
5) Stateless or willing to renounce foreign citizenship

The Minister of Justice must approve all applications for naturalization. Review of an application generally takes about one year.

In the past, the "good behavior" requirement has been used to deny or severely delay many naturalization applications, particularly from Chinese and Koreans.

I'm getting abit HIGH liaoz.

Then I went on to search a few more websites and found this:

If you are a person from a country outside Japan, you have to reside in Japan for five years consecutively to make yourself entitled for the citizenship of Japan. The five years duration can be reduced if you are married to a citizen of Japan. There are some other requirements also that you will know when you contact them.

WAHAHAZ!

Okay, take it that I stick to my dream of going to Japan at the age of 28, then that means I would only attain my PR or citizenship status if I turn 32 or 33.

Which is UNLESS.....

I go marry a Japanese girl then I may attain it much faster, perhaps by the age of 30 or 31?

Reading such things really keep me demn high lar. I seriously donno what to say. I know I still have about 1 year of NS to go, but with such thoughts running through my brain really give me morale BOOST all the way lar! SOmetimes I just try to "deceive" myself that going thru 2 yrs of shit right now, for a greater future ahead. O my... I think I wanna go MAD liaoz.

What is one month of shit in Taiwan, as compared to doing what I enjoy 10 years down the road? What is one more year of being fucked by lowly-educated idiots, as compared to be able to work in a BIG MNC and interacting with people of... higher social class?

I think I have told some of my friends about my dream.

I want to work in a big MNC. I want to wear business suit, tie, shiny leather shoes and carry briefcase to work everyday. For some of you who got watch those Japanese/korean/taiwanese drama, where those businessman got their own office. I want to be like that!!!

Not that all these are impossible in Singapore. But I've never thought of establishing my career in Singapore.

I want to be able to comprehend Japanese songs without looking at their romanji-translated lyrics. I want to be able to watch Japanese movie without having to look at the Eng/Chi subtitles. I want to be able to speak to Japanese people without speaking half-fucked Japanese, such that they don't understand. I want to read Japanese newspaper without any difficulty. I can easily tune in to Japanese FM and able to comprehend every word they say. When I switch on my TV, I can easily understand what the show is talking about.

Simply, I want to speak and use Japanese in my everyday life.

I hope this desire, this dream, this passion will keep me going... At least till I ORD in 11 months time.

With that, this shall be my last post till I return back from ROC on 17th April. Haiz, I'll miss blogging.

BoBo all the WAY!

I'm such a SUPER BOBO shooter lar. Piangz, don't what to say. I think my eyes really got problems. Initially I got 5/16 for my day shoot.

YAZ! NoT EvEN ONE THIRD OF THE SCORE LORZ. I THINK I MUST GO FOR SOME EYE SURGERY SOON LORZ.

Wah kaoz, even my dys1 say I think I should just forgo my night shot, like quite hard to pass lorz.

I was thinking likewise also.

Then came night shot. I got 10/12. WAHAHAZ, so in total I got 15/28, and so I passed! Okay lar, I think I have day blindness, but not night blindness. (Actually, because I asked my left and right shooters to SHOOT my lane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Whatever lar, can pass can liaoz. I know I really SUCKED at shooting.

Finally some ASSHOLE already left for Taiwan yesterday, becuase he's in the advance party. Thank God I can have some PEACE in the mind at least till Monday when I see him in Taiwan again.

3 more days left in SIngapore.

Haiz.

Haiz.

8 more days to ROC. Don't know what to say. For some reason, I don't really look forward to it. Going there and everyday have to see some SICKENING faces that turns me off. Still must see the blardy moods of some idiots and get fucked for no apparant reasons.

Fuck it.

Still got 333 more days.

Endure bahz.

Fuck your mother

CHARGE!? YOU WANT TO CHARGE ME FOR.....AW*L!?

COM'ON LAR!!! I'M NOT LIKE SOME FARKING DUMBASS THERE WHO'LL JUST KEEP MUM WHEN TREATED UNFAIRLY AND TO BE SLAUGHTER BY YOU PEOPLE!?

GO TO HELL MAN!!

It took us like 3 weeks to SEARCH and PASTE like close to 2000 photos (each person 4 photos) and NOW you want us to RE-DO EVERYTHING within 3 days!?

FUCK YOU!!!

I spend so much time and effort in doing this stupid thingyi, making me stay back whereby the rest of the battalion all went back home early. Then during CNY I still make the effort to bring back the photos to sort them out?

FUCK YOU!!!

And today somebody keep mentioning "if you ever say that to me, then I'm gonna give u 2 FARKING TIGHT SLAPS......"

FUCK YOU!!!

I thought I can took off on Monday and so that I can go for my med appt. in peace on Tuesday. But thanks to you ppl that make my life so miserable.

FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!

I'm simply pissed pissed pissed to the max this whole week.

Back tO Normal

As usual, this year's CNY is nth special compared to previous years 1. I think all I do is to sit at one corner of my grandmother's house and keep watching SCV movies the whole day. Other than the usual "Hello! Happy new yr!" with a handshake with my relatives, I basically didn't even talk to anybody. Other than the fact that they started gambling in the late afternoon, and perhaps we gamble only like 2 hrs or so before I left. And shucks, I think my gambling luck is super duper low this yr. Manz, this sucks. Nvm, it's just a form of entertainment and somemore only gamble once a yr. Bleahz.

I guess I'm juz too "engrossed" in the fact I'm still serving NS and that I still got like..... 352 days to ORD!? Fark. I just can't wait to get the fark out of NS lar. Piangz. So fast the end of this LONG holiday liaoz, tml night have to book in. Haiz, SIANZ to the max. Just the thought of having to see BABOON everyday makes me feel sick.

SIanz.

Anyone wans to gamble!?

CNY !?

This week's quite "happening".

Piangz, I went for the outfield WITHOUT knowing what the fark am I going there for, and what am I suppose to do. Only thing is just to set up CP toner. Full-stop.

Oh my... Went there only to be treated as blangadeshi workers to carry heavy stores from one toner to the other. I seriously donno what the hell C9L2 personnels are doing all these nonsense lar. Wah kaoz, it's not easy to keep setting up and closing the CP toner when u keep moving from one location to the other lar. And I didn't know we have to do what pioneer platoon ppl are supposed to do lar. From 6am to 8am trying to dismantle the constatina wire, and roll them up and carry from one point to the toner which is some distance away. Fark man!! Why is C9L2 ppl doing all these SHIT!?

And comes night time. Fark...need to do sentry duty. And I did TWO in one night, from 1am till 2am, and then 5am till 6am. And the remaining time I was just busy scratching my skin after being bitten by God knows how many mosquitoes. Even my HQ Specialists all said they are dying doing all these work, and their ASLC even not as xiong as this arz. This outfield was TOTALLY madness. I think the amount of load that we keep carrying around is equals to strength training X10.

Kaoz. This is farked-up lar.

Then today every1 went back at 1030am, I only left camp at 7pm just to do some stupid highnoon photos and chi names. Wah kaoz, sucks big time man!

This yr's Chinese New Yr is definitely the WORST I'm ever spending. I still must bring back all the photos back home to sort them out. Wtf lar. Ppl celebrate CNY and yet I will be burying myself with these work. Argz...Fark man! What have I done to be in this farked-up unit!?

I'm not even in the mood for wat CNY celebration. My mind is simply flooded with all the highnoon admin work tt needs to be done.

JaPaN, JaPaN, JaPaN!!!!

For the past few days I've been searching high and low for all the possible schools in Japan that offer Japanese Language courses. Perhaps like some websites said, I shld just try to tap on all the possible opportunities in Singapore to learn as much basic Japanese as possible before going abroad to study. Mainly it's because it saves ALOT of money lar. It can cost like 8 times MORE expensive to study the SAME course in Japan than in Singapore. And not forgetting the accomodation and lodging u need to pay urself. O man...tt's like gonna cost a bomb. And so every now and then, I will use my calculator and start tabulating the costs of various needs, until my parents and sis are so curious wat on earth am I calculating.

However, I realised that studying a foreign language in Singapore may not be as "efficient" as compared to studying in the native country. I mean com'on lar, if let's say I study Japanese in Singapore. I only get to practise the language for tt pathetic 2 to 3 hours PER WEEK, and the rest of the time I'll be back to speaking Chinese and SInglish n watever. Like some website put it, it will greatly improve ur learning ability if u study in the native country, because u will be under "pressure" to use the language in your everyday lifestyle, and able to practise it anywhere and anytime u travel. You get to write, listen, speak and read in the native language very often, and I believe this is how one can get to learn a language better. Okay lar, I admit my language learning ability sucks, from the horrendous english n chinese I've been speaking for the past 10++ years, and that makes me worry even more abt my ability to learn Japanese if I study it in SIngapore. So is a choice of whether u wan to save on the time or money. Save time and u go Japan to study intensive course, if not u save money and then stay in Singapore to study.

Hence, after MUCH thinking and consideration, I think I've made up my mind. Perhaps I shld just try to get a minimum JLPT1 or JLPT2 in SIngapore before I even think of going abroad to study. Erm... In case u r wondering wat's JLPT1, it's equivalent to that of AO-level Japanese and JLPT2 is about O-level Japanese, and is one of the pre-requsite to study tertiary education in Japan. However, I know that's gonna take me at least 2 to 3 yrs studying in Singapore before I can reach that level.

Okay, let's look at things this way. Upon graduation from uni at the age of 24, I should just quickly find an accounting Job in one of the Big4 firms and work for min. 2.5 yrs to 3 yrs in order to get the experience to become a certified accountant in Singapore. And at the same time I should make use of this period of time to enrol in part time Japanese courses that shld be able to get me a min. JLPT1 cert. Upon reaching the age of 27, I should have been able to save up enough money and learn enough BASIC Japanese for me to go abroad to continue to study advance Business Japanese in Japan, and at the same time look for a decent Job and settle down in Japan. If I'm lucky enough, I may even get the opportunity to be sent overseas to work, since MNCs usually require lots of travelling. Man... That will be too good to be true if I can ever land myself an overseas posting to go Japan to work.

Piangz. I made my LIFE PLAN sounds so plain-sailing and stuff. I talk until like so fairy-tale story like that. Wah kaoz, WEIYANG!!! WAKE UP LARZ!!! U MUST WORK HARD TO FUIFILL YOUR GOAL!! DON'T JUST SAY AND SAY AND THEN 'NATO'. (NATO = NO ACTION, TALK ONLY) U BLARDY HELL GET REALISTIC AND PRACTICAL IF U WAN ALL THESE TO COME TRUE. DON'T JUST SIT BACK AND BE A 'NUA-STER' AND ROT YOUR LIFE DOING NOTHING!!!!

Okay, the above paragraph serves as a REMINDER for me on wat I've promised myself I will work hard for. Hope that one day down the road, should I ever get swayed and start giving up, may I refer back to this entry to prick my conscience on what I've ever dream and said before on this date.

FARKED UP "MR BOON"

Okay, let's just face it. This is gonna be a bitching session which really pisses me off and all my branch ppl off.

I think last week was one of the most xiong week for preparation for audit. I booked out on Fri night, booked in next day Sat morning then worked until sat night 11pm go sleep, and then worked the WHOLE sunday from morn till night, before I finally finished my documentaion.

And the real examination came on Monday. Before my HR audit started at 9am, this MR BOON gave us an "opening speech". And I swear I nearly puked when I heard his words. Omg, so FAKE lar, u think we all 3 yrs old kid izzit. Wtf. Okay, I could remember some of the words he said, such as:

"I know u people have put in MUCH effort for this coming Audit. However, the real exam has come. I know some of you are not prepared for it yet, but NVM, I am NOT CONCERNED about the outcome. Before the auditors check, maybe u just declare what fault do u have. Do not try to smoke your way out. You know, I DON'T LIKE to CHRAGE people who have their heart for the unit, but left me with no choice but to really CHARGE you. Like I said, HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. Don't try to BEND BACKWARDS or whatsoever." Okay, it's just something along those lines.

Then the audit took place from morning till afternoon. Okay lar, I also can't disclose much in case SAF intends to sue me for leaking out secret information. Whatever fark, I also have no interest in the info. Anyway, my branch has done our best for this audit.

Okay, here comes the part whereby all of us feel PISSED by this "MR BOON". At the end of the Audit for the debrief, all us have to come together, with the auditors, and this "MR BOON", whereby the auditors will brief us on all the mistakes and errors that they found in this audit. Then whether the mistakes are big enough to minus points or izzit small enough to juz close one eye lar. Then actually we can debate our way thru if we wan to argue, but apprantly we ain't senior enough to dare to do such thing. Whatever it is. The auditors actually mentioned that MAJORITY of the mistakes are quite minor, so actually can put them under "Areas for Improvement"(AFI), so that means NO NEED to minus marks one lorz.

Then guess what?

In normal circumstances, usually the "BOSS" will help to fight for our own unit. But this MR BOON, is juz the opposite lar. He WANTS the audiors to PUT BACK all the errors under "Areas for Improvement" back into "Observations" (meaning will minus marks if under observation).

Wtf rite!?

If he doesn't want to help my branch. So be it lar. Actually it's not that we "xi han" his sympathy or whatsoever. The ironic part comes into play. When the audiots left the unit, that MR BOON gave my S1 and Chief one GOOD fuck, and for goodness, he actually asked my S1 to go call the auditors the next day to beg for them for leniency and put the errors back to "AFI" so that we won't get deducted that many marks. Fark lorz, what a blardy hypocrite.

Nvm, and that's halfway through the story.

Then on Wednesday, he sent an email to ALL the audiors and chief clerks from other units, and obviously to us also, and that email is so disgusting lar. Obviously the former part of the letter is for auditors, and the latter part for my branch ppl.

"
Dear auditors, would u mind sending me a soft copy of ALL the mistakes there were found out during the audit?
.
.
.

I realised that our unit's health status is not very healthy, indeed. There's much much more to be improved. I would need to do use medicine to CURE our status, so as to get rid of all the DIESASES and VIRUS.
.
.
.

I want an explanation of ALL the faults during audit within ONE week. If it is due to systematic errors, then I can understand. However, if it is due to HUMAN errors, then I will not HESITATE to put in BIG STICK...."

Sometimes I wonder if he is dumb or wat lar. Pls lorz, if it is EVER due to systematic errors, then we won't even need to plea to the audiots watz, and obviously like that they also know that it's not our fault, and won't record them down.

BUT HUMAN ERRORS????????

Firstly, U SOUND AS IF YOU NEVER KNOW THAT MY BRANCH ALREADY QUITE FARKED-UP since many yrs back lar. If u look at the record, my unit always get last or 2nd last unit in Singapore 1 lorz. I mean pls lar, if ur sec sch is the LAST in Singapore, then ur sch principal suddenly said wants to aim to thrash RI or RGS, u as a student of tt sch confirm will feel 'pek cek' to have such LAME goal lar. And at least in MOE, they still got GOOD PROGRESS AWARD or smth like that lar. Even though u r not the top, if u made a significant improvement, then at least ppl recognised u for ur hard work. Haiz. Nvm, forget it.

Hello....... YOU NEVER MAKE ANY MISTAKES BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE MEH? Wah kaoz, I also doubt all the other S1 Branch in ALL other units in Singapore get 100% lar. Then it's not as if the "king of the unit" will demand them to explain why didn't they get PERFECT score. If you never get FULL MARKS for ur examination, then your teacher asked u to explain why u made all the errors, u also confirm think that teacher is insane lar.

And u say u wan to put in BIG STICK? O pls lar, u ever since before the audit, u have been threatening us that if we screw up this audit, u will punish us one lar. I think now God has granted u your wish lorz, U can make use of this chance to get rid of us in one go. Then like that no one will ever stand in your way lar. U want to get rid of all the "VIRUS and DISEASES" like us rite? If this is not Army, I think even u pay me $10000 a month, I rather quit then to see your stuck-up face everyday lorz.

Don't u ppl think this "MR BOON" is so farked up?

And u think u r GOD or CHIEF OF ARMY izzit? Pls lorz, who do u think u r to say u wan ppl to leave the army just like that. This year will be my chief's 25th year in the army liaoz. She work in army, I think u still in pri sch lorz. And who do u think u r to want my S1 to go Ops, and become OC instead of PXO? Wah kaoz, WAKE UP UR IDEA LAR. Not everything GOES your way okay!

In case and SAF ppl wanna CHARGE or SUE me for anything....

READ THIS:

I NEVER MENTION A SINGLE BIT OF ARMY INFORMATION HOR! THIS WHOLE ENTRY IS JUST A SIMPLE BITCHING SESSION ABOUT THIS ONE GUY. AND I NEVER MENTION WHO THE HELL HE IS, AND ALSO ANYTHING THAT WILL PUT SAF AT RISK HORZ. SO DON'T SAY WHAT SLANDER OR WHAT FARK ARZ!>

Haiz, can the Audit faster END!? Piangz, still must wait till 29th Jan. So sianz. I'm juz so sick of checking stuff over and over again, only to realise that there ARE still mistakes here n there. Guess I'm juz too careless arz. But whatever, I think at the most get farked by Ah Boon then after that OUT he go from 4SIR!

Using my boss's personal's office comp is so fun arz. The moment he goes home, I will be one of the first few to dash to use his comp w/o any1 watching since the rest are all outside. But then once a while some idiots will obviously come and disturb. And have restriction to many websites like FRIENDSTER (which I donno y), I've only resort to blogs and MSN to keep myself entertained.

Talking about blogging, I realised that nowadays, me and my friends will go to Wendy's(xiaxue) blog and keep reading it. Guess we r just TOO bored arz. But seriosuly, after watching so many LAME episodes of "Girls Out Loud" every Mon night 10pm, host by Wendy and Rosalyn, I guess we r juz starting to get "used" to the style she use in communicating with ppl. Although many ppl may say that she's too "bitchY" or "sLutty" or what have u, I guess she's still okay afterall. (Nope, I'm not being bias) Instead, I guess I quite admire she can be so frank and BITCH abt ppl so openly although there are like tens of thousands of people reading her blog everyday. Lolx.. Okay, enough of her, in case any1 thinks that I'm ATTRACTED to her. Like I said, I juz find her okay with an unique style.

Haiz, so boring lar. Life's so sianz....................

Haiz.

I'm in such a dilemma.

Should I or Should not go to Taiwan?

Some say shld go as it's an experience, but then some juz told me it's a waste of time to go there. But it's so demn long lar. 34 days. And I go there is MAINLY to do "sai kang" lorz, as what my officer has told me. Right now I think I can ask one person to substitue me arz, since my chief clerk wants me to stay back in Singapore to help her. And from what I heard from those who had gone to Brunei last month, that Ah Boon eveyday also keep farking all the battalion HQ ppl. Wtf lar, until alot of ppl there so pissed off with him. So if I go there also 100% confirm everyday kana disturb by him 1. Haiz. so sucks lar.

ARGZ!!! I donno lar! Sure decide tml lar!

I was reading an article abt lasik surgery in Singapore a few days ago n I juz feel so TEMPTED to go for tt operation lar. Apparantly it costs typically between $3K to $4K bahz, for both eyes (I also donno y they wan to charge based on PER eye, which is dumb in my opinion). Okay lar, the price is reasonable I feel, at least it FREES u from wearing contact lens/glasses perm for the rest of ur life unless u get short-sighted again.

So I started searching the net for all the available clinics tt offer Lasik Surgery. HmM.. most r around the same price lar, so I juz hope tt I will be able to go for tt before I start uni in 2008. Maybe after I ORD but before sch starts. Although my parents have agreed to sponser me, but I think I shld also start saving some $$$ lar. Maybe I pay 1K to 2K and ask my parents to pay the remaining. But looking at my PATHETIC NS pay now, I think I can 4get abt saving tt much lar. Maybe shld faster go find a job when I ORD n save up. But haiz...it's still a LONG way to go till 2008. Sighz.

Wtf, for wat shit issue me 1 stupid pager. Kns. Just don't ever beep during weekend.

I was standing there next to the MRT door when I saw her enter and stand next to me.

Yes, I've not mistaken.

For that split second, my heart started beating real fast. I keep thinking what am I gonna to do.

After awhile, I feel that it's best that I just pretend nth has happened.

Having passed a few stops, while standing next to me, she turned around to look at me.

She turned back to the front, and suddenly turned again to look at a second time.

I guess she has seen me.

At that moment I feel warm as if I've just gotten sun-burn.

And like me, we pretend we didn't encounter at all.

That feeling sucks.

After 2 weeks working in 4SIR S1 Br, I would say that I'm really happy and satisfied with my current working environment. Everything is going smoothly. I can work with my superiors in my branch, and also the other servicemen in my branch. I don't know if it's cuz that damned *Ah Boon* is not around at the moment which makes life more peaceful. But whatever it is, I think I don't mind staying at S1 Br as a docu clerk till the day I ORD.

Although many politics still exist in this unit, especially in battalion HQ which involved that *Ah Boon* in causing the 4 different branches to fall out and leading the battalion towards self-destruction, I just hope that he get's transferred out ASAP next year. In fact, everyone in my branch seems quite united against this *Ah Boon*, which I think is the main factor that casued us to feel closer to each other. At this critical time whereby there's gonna be Audit check in Jan 2007, and the livelihood of my chief being at stake, all of us will try our best to do well for the assessment and not giving *Ah Boon* any chance to fault us.

I'm prepared to be treated as a 3rd or 4th class citizen in this camp. Like my chief said, our beloved *Ah Boon* hates clerks to the core and always push all the blame to the clerks when anything goes wrong. And I heard that this *Ah Boon* nearly wanted to charge my upper study in my branch, just because of a few MINOR mistakes like nv update the details in proficiency booklets properly. Ain't he insane? It's akin to a teacher saying that she wants to cane a student juz becuz a student nv does his homework. And I can't believe *Ah Boon* actually said to the R&D clerk that he wans to increase the CHARGE rate in my camp. It's like "HELLOOOOOOO!!", do u just so enjoy charging people or sending ppl to DB? Ain't he a SICKO? I believe so.

My chief warns me that I have to be mentally prepared if I stay in S1 Br, because *Ah Boon* enjoys coming to S1 Br almost everyday and start farking all the clerk, before he goes back to his office. And he doesn't seem to realise that we r "respecting" him because of his rank on his shoulder, and not because of who he really is.

I must learn to treasure life in 4SIR w/o *Ah Boon* around. Literally, all of us just feels so happy w/o HIM around.

Haiz. I'm still waiting for my death note to drop down from heaven, so that *Ah Boon* can have the greatest honour in me writing his name first in it.

Imagine u r watching TV halfway and suddenly someone from your camp calls to tell u that you've just gotten 3 EXTRAS. And thanks to some idiot who don't seem to understand simple English and can't even count properly.

THANKS to this person.

Well done.

Sometimes I really can't trust ppl with low intelligence level. Not that I'm saying mine is high or wat.

From today onwards I swear I shld juz give a "bo-chap" attitude. If any1 wanna complain abt my work attitude, so be it. I also don't give a farking damn.

Sometimes it's simply not worth ur effort contributing tt much. When all the trouble comes, u r still the one who get it. And all the credits go to those HIGHER up there. What a farked up system.

Totally enjoyed myself during the outing with my HQ platoon. The so-called "platoon cohesion day", whereby we are supposed to go some place and play. I got the chance to sit in my OC's car to Yishun SAFRA in the morning while the rest took public transport. Lolx... We played CS, bowling, and arcade for like 4 hours or so. And lunch at a western restaurant was a treat from my OC, same goes for the bowling. I think perhaps the most fun day of my life in 4SIR. If only we can more of such outings.... Okay, back to the lousy side. I just wan to curse these ppl.

This morning one F**KER officer only know how to kpkb till my armskote spec cried. What a blardy farker. Only know how to pin-point ALL the fault and start digging back old wounds. Knn... If he's not an officer I swear I sure whack him up and down. Farker, only know how to threaten us with LOTS of extras. CB, I cursed that u get lots of EXTRAS till ORD still cnt clear. What a pretence who know how to boot-lick in front of higher ranking officers. Kns.

And on Wednesday it was a MILITARY POLICE spot-check. Knn... I shan't say more, but some of my friends would know abt it. I would only blame it on my blardy BAD luck that has sticked to me ever since I entered the cursed land of 4SIR. Ever since this incident I juz feel so AWKWARD to even look at my CSM and OC. Haiz, I must have greatly disappointed them. Whatever it is, I juz take it as an lesson learnt and gladly accept my punishment (if there's any), although I know my angelic OC will sure try his best to cover my ass. Sometimes I juz feel so guilty that my OC treats me so so sooooooooooooo WELL and yet I give him lots of problems, be it armskote or the MP incident. I think I'm juz one big bastard trouble-maker. Haiz.

And some CCB armourers who only know how to complain how DIRTY weapons are. Nabei, I tolerate this particular armourer for a long time, so are the armskoteman of Alpha, Charlie and Support coy. Don't force us one day the 4 of u give u one good whacking then u can learn how to stop barking like a farking mad dog. If u wan complain anything juz go find my OC lar. Stop farking threaten me wat complain to my OC or CSM. U think I SCARED izzit!? U only work Mon to Fri, 8am to 5pm, then still wan to REQUEST ppl to stay back in a SUNDAY MORNING to clean arms!? Are u NUTS!? Why not u try BURNING ur weekends consecutively and see how that FEELS!?

And I think the 2 person mentioned above, both the officer and armourer seem to not understand the meaning of TEMPORARY armskoteman.

HELLO!!!!!!????????

I NEVER EVEN ATTEND ANY ARMSKOTE COURSE AND MY ARMSKOTE SPECS ARE EVER SO BUSY TO TEACH ME ANYTHING....

PLEASE DON'T ASSUME I KNOW EVERYTHING OKAY!?

IF I KNOW EVERYTHING THEN MIGHT AS WELL ASK SAF TO ABOLISH THE ARMSKOTE COURSE!?

*Phew........* Feel so shuang after cursing these ppl. I juz hope that the both of them can get KNOCKED down by car and DIE!!!!

I think next time when I'm on OFF or watz I shld juz switch off my HP so that NO ONE will call n bother me. This morning I received 5 missed calls from my unit and when I call back, no1 actually confessed in calling my HP. Fine.

And juz a few mins ago, some i-dot called me again.

Armourer: Hi, can u open the armskote room now? I'm coming over.
Me: Huh? Who r u?
Armourer: Armourer.
Me: Sorry arz, I'm on OFF now, go call my armskote spec if u wan. BYE!!!

And subsequently hung up my phone.

Last night I was blog-surfing again, and I happened to chance upon some of the blogs of juniors who were ex-haisians and of course those even more junior that r still in haising. And from 12am till abt 3am, while reading some of the random blogs of these ppl, I started recollecting my sec sch days. The fun that I had with my sec sch friends, from sec1 all the way to sec4.

Then I started thinking of some of the "nicknames" that we gave teachers like "kang-kong" and "black hitler". How some ppl like to imitate my Emaths/Amaths teacher's high-pitch voice. About my "lightningS and thunderS". I missed the days when we will stay back after sch to do all the decos for the noticeboard at the back of the class. And I think up to now I still dislike the phy lessons and teacher. And I know during then I was basically CRAZED over my beloved BoA until some of my friends are tired of me saying BoA every now and then. I will never 4get the event when SQ or darrell or was it Denzil who kicked the empty bottle down from the 4th level right down to the 1st level outside HOD and was caught by tt "mo-peng" Colin Ting and Maths HOD. And to think that they seem to be LAUGHING even more when they were being scolded. I think tt's loose nuts arz. Then talking abt scolding, I will not 4get tt "tooT" NG TIAK KEE who's like so kpkb, name tag majiam everyday need to check like tt.

And guessed wat? I suddenly remember I actually have the 2003 graduation CD!! So I started spending roughly 10min searching my whole room for tt CD b4 I finally found it. Phew, luckily I didn't lose it. And while I was watching the 32min video, all the sweet old memories juz keep coming back lar. I seriously miss my sec sch days! Although it's been like 3 years only, but then it seems like a long time has passed. Those happy moments seem so distant in my mind, as I try to recall everything I could of my sec sch days.

But before I realised, I'm kinda zapped back into reality and to admit the fact that I'm now serving the farking army and I simply HATE and DREAD going BACK to tt cursed camp. I'm so sick and tired of army life.

JC life was disaster.
Army life was EVEN MORE disaster.
What's next? To be frank, I don't really look forward to Uni life either, unlike some of my friends who r in army now who actually look forward to this next phase of life after ORD for them.

Me?

Partly maybe cuz I've heard from friends in Accoutancy/Business course in NTU abt how disaster the modules they r taking can be. And the fact that I'm the stupidest compared to them make me feel that I'm NOT gonna make it and confirm do much worst as compared to them. I'm juz a stupid ass I feel.

Most importantly I juz hope to slack, slack and nua and slack and nua.... Until I *shuang*, but when will I get to do tt? After ORD? Haiz, tt's like 15 months to go. I juz wish to go overseas now for some break or watz, but then the STUPID army leave system is so corked up until I donno how it works.

But one thing for sure. I'm so looking forward to the end of 2006 and start of 2007.

Currently on my OFF for today and tml which my darn unit owes me. So my OC has officially told me that he has put my name up for POSTING OUT of this camp... YES!! U didn't c wrongly, I hope I'm getting OUT of this camp SOON!

And I donno wat the FARK those S2 branch ppl r. They seem to enjoy asking LOTS of questions majiam they r like interrogating sum1. Fark, if they r not officers I swear I sure ask them to STFU. And it seems currently my name is in the process of being taken OUT of the Brunei trip. Phew, thankfully I don have to go to Brunei and feed the mozzies my blood.

ARGZ!! I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO GET POSTED OUT OF THAT CAMP AND GO SOMEHWERE ELSE!!!!

Sometimes I really wonder why am I wasting my off days juz like that? Lazing at home n rotting, and b4 I realise, it's BACK to camp. Gosh. How sucks can this vicious cycle be? And I juz remember today's my 7th month anniversary is ARMY. Wtf, I still have 15 months to go. Haiz, that's like 66% of the way to go!

Haiz, sianz sianz sianz!!!!

Holding on to that LAST glimpse of hope..... I shall endure!

Come!! Whack me with all the farking armskote stuff! So what if it's only 3 to 4 hours of sleep a day!? As long don't faint can already! Hurry up and give all the "sai kang" to do!! The enthu "sai kang" warrior!!

BUT if I'm NOT gonna get the fark out of tt stupid camp....................................................

I think I can go fark spider liaoz.

SighZ

IT'S BoA's 20th BIRTHDAY!!!

ARZZZZZZ!!!!!

I FEEL SO HIGH NOW!!

Ok...I'm mad.

Fark. Am I jinx or watz? Why when smth good has happened, some fark suay thing juz has to take place next? Fark fark fark!!

Sianz. End of the 5 days break liaoz. Gonna get confined this coming sunday for some stupid 'live' firing. Haiz.
On Saturday went ngee ann city kinokuniya book store to find some books on elementary Japanese. I'm such a kuku. Only manage to find it after like 30min like tt, and best thing is it's actually right at the entrance from where I enter. Fantastic arz. Bought 2 books which cost me$30. Okay arz, i think it's reasonable arz, compared to going for jap courses which can cost around $200.
Then yesterday I spent another $60 on a PC game: Heroes of Might and Magic V. Wah kaoz, I spend nearly 10 hours playing it yesterday lorz. From 3pm to7pm and then 8pm to 2am. Play until shiok. In total I think I spend $150 or so during this long weekend arz. Feel so SHUANG. I donno why, I don feel heartpain at all, but instead think it's necessary to "pamper" myself once awhile.
In the past when I'm still schooling, I might think twice when I buy smth, but then donno y ever since come into army I juz spend w/o thinking 1. Somemore I'm juz getting a PATHETIC $450 a month. Haiz. But whatever arz, now I'm juz so looking forward to the next public holiday, which is CHRISTMAS!?That's like 2 months from now. Sianz sianz sianz! And those ppl in my camp will keep saying "ORD ORD ORD ORD>....." Wtf lorz, ORD then ORD lar. Like tt keep saying can make ppl feel so jealous 1 arz. Haiz, nvm, but I think 1 yr from now I will also be in the "ORD" mood lar. But it's still a long way to go. Haiz, clear 2006 1st then talk.

So fun!!

So I am currently in NBS comp lab using MSN... And b4 that I went to crash my friend's course, AB105 lecture from 230pm to 430pm. My gosh, the lecture is SO boring lar! I yawned like donno how many zillion times. But understadable, as the module is wat organisation behaviour, which I feel in my opinion is quite a stupid n dumb module. Anyway, then pretending to help my friend carry her statistics textbook n walking around as if I'm a student there. Hahaz.. and b4 the lecture I went to the library to explore around..the lee wee nam library... but then I find it quite small arz as compared to what I initially expected.

So after the lecture went to visit my friend's friend's hostel, to see how "big" the hostel room is. Also quite disappointes that NTU hostels are quite small as compared to NUS ones. Hmm.. Somemore NTU only allow double bedrooms for year1s.. piangz... so sucks lorz.

From what I know business/acct students will need to do LOTs of projects. My gosh, that's so sucks arz. I prefer working alone. Haiz, but thinking again, next time go out work also need to work with other ppl. So that's y we need to learn "Organization behaviour" which teaches u how abt HR skills.

Now waiting for my friend to discuss finish her project then can go back liaoz. Lolx.. To certain extent living in hostel is like living in army camps. U see alot of ppl carry their "barang barang" as it's FRIDAY and every1's going home. Hmm... I would say it's an interesting experience today at NBS!

So here I am, on my off for tml, and 2 days of weekend, and deepavali off on Monday, then hari raya holiday on Tuesday. Arz... It's been LONG since I enjoy such a long break.

After tolerating some of the nonsense for a period of time, I talked to my OC abt it, and surprisingly, he's so understanding! Phew... Seriously, sometimes it's becuz of commanders like my OC, for example, that makes life in NS memorable, And pls, I don mean it in a sarcastic way. He's one commander that really knows how to earn not only my respect, but also every single other ppl's respect. If not for the CORKED-UP system in 4SIR, I think personally I won't mind slogging my life for someone like my OC. And I think I will give my 101% if required, as at least I know he appreciates wat I've done. On the other hand, some commanders r such BIG time losers. Kaoz, sometimes I wonder if their degenerative brain is malfunctioning or watz. which can't seem to understanding y so many ppl loathe them.

Seriously, I feel that be it in NS or outside NS, if someone (commander/leader) wanna fark someone, maybe the person shld really think thru in the 1st place whether it's their LOUSY guidance that cause the followers to do or react the wrong way? For example, how can a teacher have the cheek to scold a student if the teacher doesn't even know how to perform his duties well?

But on a lighter note, I'm surprised that quite a few commanders in my company will be going to NBS (Nanyang Business School) next year to take Business or Accountancy. Ok, my so-called future "seniors-to-be". Nice bunch of ppl to mix around with. And of course one PC in my coy who graduated from NTU business, who's ever so nice and say if I next time in uni need any help I may juz find him.

Deep down from the bottom of my heart, such commanders are SO SO HARD to get by. Sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing in disguise to be posted then to Bravo coy of 4SIR. Yes, my coy is okay, but the unit's policies n stuff simply turn me off. Haiz. But thinking thru, I feel that I really need a change of environment. Now I can ony leave my fate to the hands of those twinny-pea brain HQ ppl liaoz.

Being an armskote man.. SUCKS to the core! Fucking piece of shit.... Any idea what does being armskote man means>?

1) Waking up the the EARLIEST and sleeping the LATEST because u have to get ready all the stuff when they wan draw items and start arranging back the items when they return.

2) Getting farked for no apparant reason such as DIRTY sign in/out books cause of the OILY-stainted hands of the soldiers when they sign on the books.

3) And farking hell, some idiots, which include commanders who ALWAYS seem to 4get to sign out, and I've to spend time and energy gathering them back to sign.

4) You will be farking irritated when u r the ONLY one in the armskote room when they draw items, and those SHITHEAD assitants wanna slack and don wan to help u to give the weapon. Fucks, so ALMOST every second, ppl will be shouting at u to hurry up and get them the items they wan, and at the same time ensuring these IDIOTs don't sign at the wrong row, which they seem to ENJOY doing it most of the time.

5) And this one is for SURE!! U will get HEART ATTACK and HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE easily. Imagine when some IDIOTS forget to return items like bayonet or magazines, u will be spending an hour or so COUNTING over and over again, but the figures don't telly. Then when u ask the whole company again, these idiots will be like "O... paisehz.. i 4get to return!" Wtf.... I have a very STRONG feeling that very soon, I'm either gonna get EXTRAs or SOLs or worse still, go to DB!!!

And I donno wat's the farking problem with those pea-brain idiots higher up there doing. Do they actually understand wat is "proper management of manpower"? How could they have like wat 4 ADMIN clerks, 3 STOREMANs and 1 BLARDY armskoteman? Seriously, there shldn't be too many admin clerks, cuz seriously I think at the most 2 is MORE THAN ENOUGH lar!

But I'm not going to voice all that out. I shld just first wait until 27th Oct to know my NEW pes status, then from there I will speak to my OC, S1 and the chief clerk to POST me OUT!!!! So I think now I shld be gathering 101 reasons so why they have to post me out. If everything fails, then maybe I've got to ask "external agencies" for help.

I seriously donno wat the FARK is the problem with the highper authority ppl UP there doing. Fark. I seriously can't stand my unit. Can u imagine when the CO OPENLY DECLARES that he DESPISED ppl with medical problems and will treat them as 2nd class soldiers? Farking piece of shit. And he seems to ENJOY spreading the propaganda to the WHOLE unit, all the way down to the lowest lifeform of men. How would u feel if ppl sometimes give u that "look", as u r juz some farking piece of shit that's worse than those blangadesh workers out there.

I don't know if they r waiting for CHRISTMAS or r they juz feigning ignorance by 4getting to post me out. I DIE DIE will try to get the fark out of tt fark place.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cursed or wat. Always getting all the suay shits.

I feel good...
Te ne ne ne ne ne ne....
I knew that I would...
I feel good....
Te ne ne ne ne ne ne...
I knew I would...
So good... so GOOD!

When I know how things r gonna work out for me from now till I get *toot*, I just feel so happy lar. It's just wait, rot, wait, rot, and then *poof*. So now I shall be a good soldier and give my very best in watever work I'm supposed to do.

Now I believe in one thing. Birthday wishes do come true afterall! =)

Some commanders r juz so disgusting. One can actually say: "O...do u know why I give u all so much work to do, whereas ppl from other company r more slack than u? There's a reason behind this. Am I right to say that last time when u all were still schooling, ur teachers give u all lots of homework so that u all can do well in exams? The same thing applies here! I'm giving u all lots of work to do so that u all will be more skillful next time when u all ORD."

It's something along those lines.

WAH LAOZ! KAOZ! PLS LORZ! DON'T MAKE ME PUKE LAR. WE DO ALL THE WORK THEN U R ALWAYS WATCHING TV IN THE MESS, IF NOT U R SLEEPING IN UR OFFICE SLEEPING IN THE DAY! WAN TO SLACK JUST SAY SO LAR! IT'S NOT AS WE R SO NAIVE THAT WE WILL BELIEVE WAT U SAY LAR. BLARDY HELL.... SIMPLY "NATO".

**NATO = NO ACTION, TALK ONLY.

And I realised smth. Some ppl arz, I think the 3SG or the 2SG, when they do COS, they think they r really (COS = Chief of Singapore), and if u r a blardy PTE doing COS, ppl will treat u as (COS = Company's Only Slave).

Fark lar. Some commanders really really wanna make me PUKE lar. Er xin to the max. Pieces of shit. They make themselves as if they r angels when in actual fact they r juz so shitty.

Nvm, I swear I will get out of tt farking place. They think they can do me in!? No way!!

So I'm down with 6 COS duties for the month of Sep. Haiz. Okay, I must say I think I'm quite used to doing COS already, since I've already done so many. And I think right now I'm better at using the microsoft and the programming. Actually some of these things r simple but juz tt I'm such a comp-i-diot that I've to learn all these SIMPLE stuff.

I think this month will be quite peaceful as 99% of the ppl will be busy going to Changi Airport EVERYDAY to be luggage-porters and hence, me being not involved, hopefully can slack abit.

And this morning I nearly fainted during flag-raising. Thanks to my CSM who has done a good job by asking him to accompany him to TALK COCK becuz he couldn't sleep. N so we ended up from 12+am "talking" all the way till 4am b4 he says he wanna sleep. N throughout tt period he was doing ALL the talking, abt his life stories and moral values n I will be like nodding my head saying "Hmm.. yeah yeah.. ya..ya" So he was mentioning abt how "some commanders" who appeared to be friendly on the outiside r actually very scheming. Wow.. I was rather shocked y on earth will he tell me such thing. But wellz, it's true lar. This is a "dog-bite-dog" world, u will get eliminated if u r the weakest link.

And today n tml I'm being FORCED to apply my precious leave. Fark. That means end of the yr I can only apply lesser no. of days of leave.

So now I shall hopefully "enjoy" life while I can, although I seriously doubt any1 can really enjoy in such a god-damn camp.

Money and nothing else shapes my destiny. With money, u can do virtually anything that u like. With money, I shall decide my own fate.

Don't try to give me some kind of "CME" lesson. Really, u ppl r farking worse than me, and stop acting as if u ppl r demn "zai" in front of the men. And farking hell, pls stop comparing me with some pea-brain idiots. They deserve to die.

I wish I have great spening power. I need money. More money. I don need anything else.

Don't blame me for your mistakes. Blame youself. So what if I'm despicable>? It doesn't matter to me anymore. Your downfall ensures my survival. This is the real world. Face it! Even if u manage to get rid of me, I make sure I will have my revenge. The smile in me hides a daggar behind. Stay away from me or I'll make sure ur life gets as miserable as mine.

Sumtimes I donno wat's the farking problem with this particular SGT who's so demn blardy against JC ppl. Or shld I say, farking against me. Kaoz, n the joke is tt he's from TPJC last time. He would say things like "wah laoz, u JC student can don disgrace JC student's face anotz. Can u put in more effort anotz?" or "why u can down PES arz? wtf... i think I also wan to down PES lorz, since u now here so SLACK n do nth"

Farking hell, he's really really getting on my nerve, or shld I say a few of my other friends' nerves as well. N he was asking me why DIDN'T I wanna choose to go command sch when I was in BMT. So I replied "don wan lar, kaoz, pls lorz, so many ppl go command sch is either they do well in A-levels if not is their wa-yanging skills are demn good. Owellz, since I possess neither, for wat I waste my farking time go. Kaoz, NO PRIDE lorz. Alot ppl go command sch no leadership skills lorz, I think any1 also can go if they wan." N he was speechless. Guess he knows sacarsm's dripping from my words.

N it took me so long to understand a simple saying which is "Please fight for wat u really want."
Guess I'm juz retarded or wat. Anyway, really, if u really wan smth, fight for it even at the expense of literally anything. It's all right if u r DESPICABLE. There's always sum1 who is more scheming n cunning than u.

I think I can be an asshole jerk if I want to be. -_-'''

Everyday I will look up the sky and I will wonder to myself... ...

WHEN WILL I GET THE SH*T OUT OF THIS FARKING HELL PLACE!? Arzz!! I really wish tt I can have wings n fly the hell out of this unit.

Then I will heave a sigh n I know it won't be tt soon. Kns.

O..And "somebody" who's equivalent status to tt of Mr Kim Jong Il of North Korea in my camp started talking rubbish which really pissed some of us off. Wellz, it's the same old scolding again. Things like whoever always on status will get all the WEEKEND duty, if not he said smth like he DISPISED ppl who r always on status all things like tt. I donno wtf is wrong with this idiot. It's either he has no brain (most likely the case) or brain tt doesn't work. Farking hell, the sight of him really irks me much.

But on a lighter note, I seem to enjoy the company of my new platoon's ppl. SOmetimes it's really interesting to hear abt their life b4 NS. These stories u don really get to hear from typical JC/poly ppl who spent most of their time in sch in the past. Instead, I'm really fascinated by some of the encounters they have, their experiences etc, n I will go "wow" most of the time. Staying up in the night to hear them tok cock to me, whereby I'm always doing the listening most of the time. N I think it's really much better than being in a platoon of pure JC/poly ppl, u will get bored to death cuz there's nth exciting to hear abt.

And frankly speaking, initially I was really excited to be involved in IMF. But now, I really wish I'm not involved in it. Kaoz, we have to do 12 hours shift EVERYDAY during the IMF period, then will go back to camp to rest, n then go back airport again. The worse thing is that our duty is to be LUGGAGE PORTER. It's not tt I despise the job or watz, but I think my hands will break helping to carry all the luggage.

Haiz, COS duty on 27th Aug Sunday. Sianz! This means I will still be inside here till end of Aug!? Argz!! How long must I stay there!?

FARK LAR!!!

WHY I NEED TO BOOK IN LATER 8AM WHEREBY MY FRIEND WHO ALSO ATTEN C ON SUNDAY GET TO BOOK IN AT 9PM !? ARGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

AM I JUUST FARKING SUAY OR WHAT!?

Fark my unit. So juz now I went to CGH to collect my medicine, becuz it's not available in alexandra hosp, so I need to go CGH collect. Nvm, so I've been having quite a terrible runny nose these few days and so I was thinking since I'm at the hosp, I might as well go see the doctor and get some flu medicine. Okay, so it's juz some normal flu n I'll need to stay at home today and tml to rest, if not I will need to carry lots of tissue paper with me wherever I go. So I'm on atten C for 2 days.

Then I realised I need to book in tonight becuz there's 'live firing' tml (which I'm excused n I donno wat the hell I go back for.) Anyway, so I called back my coy line to tell the COS abt my new status, and I got farked.

Conversation :

Me: I'm on atten C, for today and tml, so may I know what time I need to book in tml(sun)?
COS: Do u know that OC has passed the rule that no1 is allowed to take MC outside camp?
Me: I donno... cuz I wasn't in camp this whole week, n I had no choice but to go outside camp to see doc.
COS: Wellz, whatever it is, u juz report back in camp tml 8am.
Me: But I thought the rule is that unless my MC is 3 days or more, if not I no need to come back camp to endorse it? Since mine is only 2 days, I thought I juz need to go back camp till my MC expires?
COS: @#$%^&*@#$%^&* No! U come back tml morning at 8am!
Me: Okay, I'll book in tml at 8am.

**Hung up the phone**

As the saying goes : "Lan lan SUCK THUMB!"

"I juz have to say I'm stupid and I do things w/o thinking thru my brain (if I have 1 in the 1st place) and I'm just a bloody loser who can't accept reality, who can't change his thinking and I wish to escape from all my problems. Fark it!"


I kinda feel that I've come to a state where I'm just trapped in my own narrow set of thinking, and I'm really really tired of "trying" to put on a "brave" front when in the first place I know I'm not able to take it. Worse still, I really sick n tired of ppl telling me encouraging words to motivate me. Yes, I know u ppl mean well, and to be frank, I can understand what some of u r trying to say, but the simple fact is that I know all that u ppl r saying. I mean... Well... I do watch TV dramas and the actors/actress will always use such motivating words to encourage. But haiz, I don't mean to offend any1, but seriously, I've GIVEN UP n I wish I can just escape. Yes, escape. I'm juz trying to escape from reality, and pls, sometimes I really wish I can just sleep forever....... For eternity.......

"Dear Lord,
I'm a sinner, and I know I've sinned too much. I know I deserved to be punished for my sins. But if You have to mete out any punishment, does it have to be like this>? "

"Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken me."

Some idiots in my bunk who r just so inconsiderate.

They could talk from 1030pm to almost 1am, and they juz talked non-stop. Wtf. Worse, they can actually smoke inside the bunk with the rest of us inhaling their second-hand smoke. I thought that's the end. It's when I thought I was "dreaming" as I started hearing music and I woke up at around 330am. Yes, sum1 turned on the radio to FM 933 and played the music rather LOUDLY all the way until it's time to wake up for day, which is around 545am for me.

Fark. How on earth can any1 sleep in peace like this. I will bring along a ear-plug next time. Damn these ppl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RulEUl-rMB0

Okay, lots of changes this week. So those in HQ platoon present last week were made to choose between "1st class soldier" or "2nd class soldier". Wellz, guess I know the real difference now. For "2nd class", u juz need to stay in coy office WHOLE day n do admin stuff n to be more exact, do nth lorz. If nth to do can go to the mess n play games n watch TV. For "1st class" soldier, we need to take part in training n supposedly to go field camp today arz. Even u wat broken leg, broken hand or watever thing also must go field camp. It's like... .... ... ... .. .. **no comments**

O... N I was posted to "bravo" coy aka mono-intake coy. Hmm... My bunk ppl r quite interesting I'll say. Tattos, vulgarities like greetings n all smokers even though some r younger than me. Haiz, n I kinda feel tt I can't adapt well. Yesterday when I was juz posted there, i was greeted by asking me to go pack my standard field pack as we r goin off to field camp today. It's like "wow...", ain't it "abit" too soon?

And on Monday someone in my my new Bravo coy had chicken pox, and so some bunks were asked to "quanritine"(donno how to spell). Yaz, lucky mine doesn't have. And most interesting of all, my PS is 1st SGT melissa. Yup, is a female. She has the IPPT logo on her rank showing her IPPT is very good... and I can only say she's like the "modern" version of Hua Mu Lan, those super chiong sua 1. Her platoon ppl always make fun of her by calling her "mother love".Wow... And when she shout, her voice tend to go abit high pitch n my ears hurt. Well, a totally new environment. Haiz, also donno wat lies ahead.

P.S Pls don ask me what I'm doing here in a Wed afternoon.

I did alot of thinking yesterday and today. I mean literally lots of "thinking", but mostly senseless ones. I had this feeling of jealousy, envy and hatred in me. Things like what have I done to deserve to deserve all these fark up nonsense, why my camp is so fark up whereby some of my friends' camps r better than mine. I was talking to denzil and louis on msn ystd, and they r in OCS, yet they think my camp is ridiculous. They were like asking things how I wash my clothes when we cnt bring clothes back etc. Kaoz.

I'm getting pissed off for no particular reason. Life's not fair. I'm not even going SISPEC or OCS. I'm juz a bloody man. Why the fark do they wan to have all these shit. And one thing I'm quite annoyed. I mean... Most of my friends in their units r basically undergoing courses which require them to do studying, some lectures, and maybe abit of PT to "even" things out. My camp? I think they r like juz training a bunch of roborts to be in tip-top condition as if we r goin to war now.

And I guess not many ppl understand ppl understand how I feel. Many ppl would tell me "O.. u r only left with 19 mths of NS arz.. Just get it done with and everything will be fine. Blah blah..."
Easier said than done. Just look at my coy's current status n u shld have a "rough" idea smth is wrong. 4 weeks into it and 50% of the ppl r on status.

Haiz, I juz hate life as it is. Later must book-in. Haiz, I really dread going back to the camp. N pls don tell me things will change for the better. It's a fact that now it's juz the starting n things will get much tougher. I admit I cnt take it. To be frank, if right now u ask me to join back the main fighting force after 2.5 weeks when I didn't exercise, I think I will juz die. Literally die. Yes, the exponential increasing insanity of the training, I can tell u ppl in the SAF tt I won't be able to take it. U can take my life if u want.

P.S. I'm juz venting some anger. Pls don get irritated if anything I mention have offended u.

I was away from 4SIR for 2 weeks, and so so so many things have changed, for the worse of course. And cuz of my condition, I have to be transferred out of scouts and put in a so'called temp platoon, called "HQ platoon". From morning to night is just area cleaning, area cleaning, and more area cleaning. Okay, I seriously don mind doing it for the rest of 17 months.

Right now, the chin-up regim has increased from 16 pull-ups b4 each meal(that was when I was "fighting fit" 2 weeks ago) to that of 24 pull-ups b4 each meal. Well, that adds up to 72 pull-ups a day, and NOT forgetting the hundreds of standard/close up/spider push-ups everyday. And starting this week, the scouts platoon needs to have their FBO on the whole day, from the first parade when they fall in till the last parade when they announce RO. That includes going to cookhouse for meals and so on.

**FBO = SBO + standard field pack + 2 EXTRA 1.5 litres water bottle juz to add weight

On Thursday they wanted to have their 1st SOC trial run. And before that, they had some kind of "warm-up". The warm up includes stretching and of course the 3km run with SBO, helmet and rifle. Yes, that's warm-up. I was the usher, and as I saw my friends run, they were all like crying out to me that they wan to die when they run past me. And luckily on tt day, by the time they run finish, the weather was too hot, and so they decided to cancel the SOC. I nearly had another panic attack when I saw them run past me, the expression in their faces.

For those fighting fit ones, this week is simply PT, PT, PT, PT and more PT in the morning and afternoon. No lectures, no nth. Just purely train on PT. And for those in the HQ platoon, which is my platoon, whole day just do area cleaning. Everyday stand-by toilet, stand-by bunk, stand-by ground floor compound and all the stand-by.

As far as yesterday was concern, this is my coy's status now:

1) 47 ppl in HQ platoon.
2) 22 ppl on atten C, medical appt or operations out of the 47. (which means ystd left only 25 ppl in HQ platoon in camp)
3) 30+ ppl pending downgrade out of the 47.
4) 4 ppl needs to walk using clutches n their conditions r so bad that they r asked to go back home to rest cuz it's very "unsightly" to see them like tt according to the OC.
5) Left only 50+ ppl fighting fit.
6) Support coy is SO lack of manpower that we have to transfer ppl from alpha, bravo and charlie coy (mono-intakes) to help fill up the "vacancies".

Currently I juz changed bunk, from 4th level to 2nd level, which is the HQ platoon bunk. Out of the 14 beds, every night only got 3 ppl sleeping, 2 of them r storemans, they r going to ORD soon, and actually they not really considered the "main" manpower. In other words, I'm like the only 1 left in my bunk. The other 11 ppl r obviously on atten C. And everytime I was in bunk I have to be on the high alert for instructions, in case they juz shout for fall-in or wat then if I never hear then die liaoz. Kaoz.

Yesterday the CO came down personally to talk to the 25 of us in HQ platoon. He was REAL pissed off at the status as like so many ppl on status. He scolded us that we r wasting the nation's time, nation's resources and nation's money. Say wat every meal we eat cost $5, n we r like not contributing to the nation and blah blah. He made us write a confession, to write whether we want to be 1st class or 2nd class soldiers, how we can contribute to the unit, and how can the unit help us. And he said the 47 of us belong to the "gray shade". N he said he will investigate to make sure all of us will turn from "gray" to "black n white". In other words, if for example u have injury, he will make sure ur injury is so serious that u r going to have injury for the rest of ur life (which means even physiotherapy will not work), if not u must join back the main fighting fit force. All of us were so shocked and scared. No ones dare to say or do anything. We r juz stunned.

Wellz, 15 ppl chose 1st class, and 10 ppl chose 2nd class. I chose 1st class (obviously). For 1st class soldier, he will try to accomodate in to our request n MAYBE post us out to donno where, For 2nd class, they will remain in support coy n do all the "sai-kang", such as do COS duty, guard duty, which means MOST of ur weekends will be burnt.

Yesterday my HQ platoon had to book out one hour later than the fighting-fit ppl, cuz our area cleaning is not good. Some of us wanted to "smuggle" clothes out to wash. the CSM saw one guy's bag was so bulky, he quickly said he give us chance to own-up and go back bunk to put back all our clothes, and if later he spot-check our bag got clothes, he will CHARGE us for cheating. So all of us went back bunk and put our dirty clothes back in our cupboard and then come down to get ready for book-out. There was a new PC, he was here for like 1 or 2 weeks only, then we heard him asking the CSM izzit we cannot bring clothes back, then the CSM was like "yes sir, they r not allowed to bring clothes back". The sir had that shocked face and stunned. Kaoz.

I'm home-sicked. For the first time I really really feel that it's so shiok to be back at home. I've never felt much better. Even 7 days of field camp is nth compared to how our dear SAF has treated us NSF guys.

These few days have really made me learn to cherish so many things. Really, and most importantly kinship and friendship. If not for my parents, especially my mum who had been coming everyday to visit me, and becuz of me she had very bad sleeping patterns and lost 5kg in a week. That's like..."wow..." really... I really thank God for placing such a nice and caring mum in my world. Definitely not 4getting my father and sister as well. Also, thanks to my many friends who took turns to visit me. If not for u guys, I think I would have committed suicide and died.

I remember when I was still schooling, I used to have a simple plan for my future. Do well for A-levels, serve NS, get into uni, go get a decent degree, get a good job, start a family and take care of my parents. I believe many ppl may also have such a thinking, I donno. Whatever it is, these things seem so distant now. I can't even imagine if I will be able to reach the day when I can call myself an "uni undergraduate", n obviously anything further down the timeline seem even more impossible.

These few days I've been questioning myself. How much does one human life cost? Is it cheap or is it priceless? I donno. And I believe in one thing. If u r like the junk of the society, ur life is definitely cheap and worthless. No one even cares abt ur existence. On the other hand, if u r like the jewel of the society, contributing much to the society, ppl will show great respect to u, and if u ever die then many ppl will moan over ur death.

Ask urself this simple ques. Which category do u belong to? If u belong to the former, then I encourage u to just go and die. Stop wasting earth's resources in keeping u alive. If u belong to the latter, then good for u, may ur life ahead be smooth.

Life's a mess now. Fark it. I also donno what's gonna happen to me.

WORLD CUP 2006 IS GONNA START REAL SOON!!!

I'm so gonna root for Japan and Korea for world cup!! But seems like Japan's fate is more or less sealed since she's in the same group as Brazil. Haiz, tough luck for Japan. Nevertheless, I really hope Korea can kick some asses of france, switzerland and togo. Muhahaha, hope it comes true!

What's so great abt POP? No offence, but I seriously don understand y some ppl can make such a big hoo-har over such a minor event. If it's "ORD" we r refering to, then I will have no comments, but for goodness, it's only 'POP' we r refering to! End of POP would mark the start of life at another unit for ur remaining 1.5 yrs of NS life for some ppl like me.

Someone has certainly pissed me off which I shouldn't elaborate much on it. I seriously hope that I won't ever ever get to see that person in my whole life, and definitely not in my new unit. Nevertheless, this guy has certainly given me the chance to make me do things that I've never done b4, which includes pointing my long middle finger at this person in front of the whole section n shout "F*** OFF LAR LOSER!" till every1 goes "OMG! WeiYang is pissed off alas!". Sometimes I really don't understand brain that doesn't work. How can sum1 be so ignorant that when the whole section is making "eye signal" as we talked bad abt him RIGHT infront of him and yet he seems enjoy scolding himself by interupting with nasty comments abt "whoever" we r toking to. And afterawhile he would ask if we were toking abt him. Manz. Can sum1 just invent a machine that can analyse brain that ACTUALLY works! That would be a great contribution to the human society I supposed.

For now, I shall just ASSUME I'm a civillian and "enjoy" life while I can. Haiz. It's still a long way to go b4 I get my ass out of NS.

Just came back from a tour agency with my family. Will be going Thailand Bangkok for 3 days next Sun 11th Jun till 13th Jun Tues. Arz... Can relax liaoz, but I hope there's no last min changes that require me to go back tekong on these 3 days. Even if there is...I think most likely I will AWOL or atten C or maybe ask my "beloved" PC to refund me my $$$ since he's the 1 who granted me permission to go overseas. And I juz realised that on Thurs will be my day1 status and so Fri is my stupid NE trip. So that's only left with Sat, which I hope there's NO 24km route march. Even IF there is....I think I will..... *censored*

So it's 4 more days to POP, don't know if I shld feel happy or sad. Happy as BMT is coming to an end and I get to slack for around 10 days or so b4 being posted to my new unit. Why sad? Cuz it's getting very slack now and I wish tt this can continue for the rest of my NS life (in my dreams). It's even better if u r excused for 7 days of light duties till the day I POP next wed. Arz... Why have I become so slack nowadays!?

But on a lighter note, I'm fortunate to be selected for MP! I hope I did okay for the interview, and with so many ppl wanting to go command sch, hopefully my chance of going MP is higher. And I really hope to be posted to some guard duty unit at some camp so tt I can go home almost everyday! Although nth has been confirmed yet, I really really wish I'm not posted to 1st Guards or some other horrible units.

Surprisingly, I managed to clear all the 11 obstacles course during my SOC half run-down. And for the first time, I cleared the jacob's ladder w/o stopping at the top and "moon-walked" for 5 min or so. Phew... And on Wed was the disaster cuz I had my 16km route march while others have their 24km. It's quite fun to walk in the night although it's not cooling at all and most of us were like totally covered with sweat. Started from 330pm and ended at 1pm. Although it's only 16km, I really hope that it's gonna be the LAST route march and SOC in my whole life if I'm posted to MP. Haiz... I'm really starting to worry abt my posting result.