Okay, let's just face it. This is gonna be a bitching session which really pisses me off and all my branch ppl off.
I think last week was one of the most xiong week for preparation for audit. I booked out on Fri night, booked in next day Sat morning then worked until sat night 11pm go sleep, and then worked the WHOLE sunday from morn till night, before I finally finished my documentaion.
And the real examination came on Monday. Before my HR audit started at 9am, this MR BOON gave us an "opening speech". And I swear I nearly puked when I heard his words. Omg, so FAKE lar, u think we all 3 yrs old kid izzit. Wtf. Okay, I could remember some of the words he said, such as:
"I know u people have put in MUCH effort for this coming Audit. However, the real exam has come. I know some of you are not prepared for it yet, but NVM, I am NOT CONCERNED about the outcome. Before the auditors check, maybe u just declare what fault do u have. Do not try to smoke your way out. You know, I DON'T LIKE to CHRAGE people who have their heart for the unit, but left me with no choice but to really CHARGE you. Like I said, HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. Don't try to BEND BACKWARDS or whatsoever." Okay, it's just something along those lines.
Then the audit took place from morning till afternoon. Okay lar, I also can't disclose much in case SAF intends to sue me for leaking out secret information. Whatever fark, I also have no interest in the info. Anyway, my branch has done our best for this audit.
Okay, here comes the part whereby all of us feel PISSED by this "MR BOON". At the end of the Audit for the debrief, all us have to come together, with the auditors, and this "MR BOON", whereby the auditors will brief us on all the mistakes and errors that they found in this audit. Then whether the mistakes are big enough to minus points or izzit small enough to juz close one eye lar. Then actually we can debate our way thru if we wan to argue, but apprantly we ain't senior enough to dare to do such thing. Whatever it is. The auditors actually mentioned that MAJORITY of the mistakes are quite minor, so actually can put them under "Areas for Improvement"(AFI), so that means NO NEED to minus marks one lorz.
Then guess what?
In normal circumstances, usually the "BOSS" will help to fight for our own unit. But this MR BOON, is juz the opposite lar. He WANTS the audiors to PUT BACK all the errors under "Areas for Improvement" back into "Observations" (meaning will minus marks if under observation).
Wtf rite!?
If he doesn't want to help my branch. So be it lar. Actually it's not that we "xi han" his sympathy or whatsoever. The ironic part comes into play. When the audiots left the unit, that MR BOON gave my S1 and Chief one GOOD fuck, and for goodness, he actually asked my S1 to go call the auditors the next day to beg for them for leniency and put the errors back to "AFI" so that we won't get deducted that many marks. Fark lorz, what a blardy hypocrite.
Nvm, and that's halfway through the story.
Then on Wednesday, he sent an email to ALL the audiors and chief clerks from other units, and obviously to us also, and that email is so disgusting lar. Obviously the former part of the letter is for auditors, and the latter part for my branch ppl.
"
Dear auditors, would u mind sending me a soft copy of ALL the mistakes there were found out during the audit?
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.
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I realised that our unit's health status is not very healthy, indeed. There's much much more to be improved. I would need to do use medicine to CURE our status, so as to get rid of all the DIESASES and VIRUS.
.
.
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I want an explanation of ALL the faults during audit within ONE week. If it is due to systematic errors, then I can understand. However, if it is due to HUMAN errors, then I will not HESITATE to put in BIG STICK...."
Sometimes I wonder if he is dumb or wat lar. Pls lorz, if it is EVER due to systematic errors, then we won't even need to plea to the audiots watz, and obviously like that they also know that it's not our fault, and won't record them down.
BUT HUMAN ERRORS????????
Firstly, U SOUND AS IF YOU NEVER KNOW THAT MY BRANCH ALREADY QUITE FARKED-UP since many yrs back lar. If u look at the record, my unit always get last or 2nd last unit in Singapore 1 lorz. I mean pls lar, if ur sec sch is the LAST in Singapore, then ur sch principal suddenly said wants to aim to thrash RI or RGS, u as a student of tt sch confirm will feel 'pek cek' to have such LAME goal lar. And at least in MOE, they still got GOOD PROGRESS AWARD or smth like that lar. Even though u r not the top, if u made a significant improvement, then at least ppl recognised u for ur hard work. Haiz. Nvm, forget it.
Hello....... YOU NEVER MAKE ANY MISTAKES BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE MEH? Wah kaoz, I also doubt all the other S1 Branch in ALL other units in Singapore get 100% lar. Then it's not as if the "king of the unit" will demand them to explain why didn't they get PERFECT score. If you never get FULL MARKS for ur examination, then your teacher asked u to explain why u made all the errors, u also confirm think that teacher is insane lar.
And u say u wan to put in BIG STICK? O pls lar, u ever since before the audit, u have been threatening us that if we screw up this audit, u will punish us one lar. I think now God has granted u your wish lorz, U can make use of this chance to get rid of us in one go. Then like that no one will ever stand in your way lar. U want to get rid of all the "VIRUS and DISEASES" like us rite? If this is not Army, I think even u pay me $10000 a month, I rather quit then to see your stuck-up face everyday lorz.
Don't u ppl think this "MR BOON" is so farked up?
And u think u r GOD or CHIEF OF ARMY izzit? Pls lorz, who do u think u r to say u wan ppl to leave the army just like that. This year will be my chief's 25th year in the army liaoz. She work in army, I think u still in pri sch lorz. And who do u think u r to want my S1 to go Ops, and become OC instead of PXO? Wah kaoz, WAKE UP UR IDEA LAR. Not everything GOES your way okay!
In case and SAF ppl wanna CHARGE or SUE me for anything....
READ THIS:
I NEVER MENTION A SINGLE BIT OF ARMY INFORMATION HOR! THIS WHOLE ENTRY IS JUST A SIMPLE BITCHING SESSION ABOUT THIS ONE GUY. AND I NEVER MENTION WHO THE HELL HE IS, AND ALSO ANYTHING THAT WILL PUT SAF AT RISK HORZ. SO DON'T SAY WHAT SLANDER OR WHAT FARK ARZ!>
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