Totally enjoyed myself during the outing with my HQ platoon. The so-called "platoon cohesion day", whereby we are supposed to go some place and play. I got the chance to sit in my OC's car to Yishun SAFRA in the morning while the rest took public transport. Lolx... We played CS, bowling, and arcade for like 4 hours or so. And lunch at a western restaurant was a treat from my OC, same goes for the bowling. I think perhaps the most fun day of my life in 4SIR. If only we can more of such outings.... Okay, back to the lousy side. I just wan to curse these ppl.

This morning one F**KER officer only know how to kpkb till my armskote spec cried. What a blardy farker. Only know how to pin-point ALL the fault and start digging back old wounds. Knn... If he's not an officer I swear I sure whack him up and down. Farker, only know how to threaten us with LOTS of extras. CB, I cursed that u get lots of EXTRAS till ORD still cnt clear. What a pretence who know how to boot-lick in front of higher ranking officers. Kns.

And on Wednesday it was a MILITARY POLICE spot-check. Knn... I shan't say more, but some of my friends would know abt it. I would only blame it on my blardy BAD luck that has sticked to me ever since I entered the cursed land of 4SIR. Ever since this incident I juz feel so AWKWARD to even look at my CSM and OC. Haiz, I must have greatly disappointed them. Whatever it is, I juz take it as an lesson learnt and gladly accept my punishment (if there's any), although I know my angelic OC will sure try his best to cover my ass. Sometimes I juz feel so guilty that my OC treats me so so sooooooooooooo WELL and yet I give him lots of problems, be it armskote or the MP incident. I think I'm juz one big bastard trouble-maker. Haiz.

And some CCB armourers who only know how to complain how DIRTY weapons are. Nabei, I tolerate this particular armourer for a long time, so are the armskoteman of Alpha, Charlie and Support coy. Don't force us one day the 4 of u give u one good whacking then u can learn how to stop barking like a farking mad dog. If u wan complain anything juz go find my OC lar. Stop farking threaten me wat complain to my OC or CSM. U think I SCARED izzit!? U only work Mon to Fri, 8am to 5pm, then still wan to REQUEST ppl to stay back in a SUNDAY MORNING to clean arms!? Are u NUTS!? Why not u try BURNING ur weekends consecutively and see how that FEELS!?

And I think the 2 person mentioned above, both the officer and armourer seem to not understand the meaning of TEMPORARY armskoteman.

HELLO!!!!!!????????

I NEVER EVEN ATTEND ANY ARMSKOTE COURSE AND MY ARMSKOTE SPECS ARE EVER SO BUSY TO TEACH ME ANYTHING....

PLEASE DON'T ASSUME I KNOW EVERYTHING OKAY!?

IF I KNOW EVERYTHING THEN MIGHT AS WELL ASK SAF TO ABOLISH THE ARMSKOTE COURSE!?

*Phew........* Feel so shuang after cursing these ppl. I juz hope that the both of them can get KNOCKED down by car and DIE!!!!

I think next time when I'm on OFF or watz I shld juz switch off my HP so that NO ONE will call n bother me. This morning I received 5 missed calls from my unit and when I call back, no1 actually confessed in calling my HP. Fine.

And juz a few mins ago, some i-dot called me again.

Armourer: Hi, can u open the armskote room now? I'm coming over.
Me: Huh? Who r u?
Armourer: Armourer.
Me: Sorry arz, I'm on OFF now, go call my armskote spec if u wan. BYE!!!

And subsequently hung up my phone.

Last night I was blog-surfing again, and I happened to chance upon some of the blogs of juniors who were ex-haisians and of course those even more junior that r still in haising. And from 12am till abt 3am, while reading some of the random blogs of these ppl, I started recollecting my sec sch days. The fun that I had with my sec sch friends, from sec1 all the way to sec4.

Then I started thinking of some of the "nicknames" that we gave teachers like "kang-kong" and "black hitler". How some ppl like to imitate my Emaths/Amaths teacher's high-pitch voice. About my "lightningS and thunderS". I missed the days when we will stay back after sch to do all the decos for the noticeboard at the back of the class. And I think up to now I still dislike the phy lessons and teacher. And I know during then I was basically CRAZED over my beloved BoA until some of my friends are tired of me saying BoA every now and then. I will never 4get the event when SQ or darrell or was it Denzil who kicked the empty bottle down from the 4th level right down to the 1st level outside HOD and was caught by tt "mo-peng" Colin Ting and Maths HOD. And to think that they seem to be LAUGHING even more when they were being scolded. I think tt's loose nuts arz. Then talking abt scolding, I will not 4get tt "tooT" NG TIAK KEE who's like so kpkb, name tag majiam everyday need to check like tt.

And guessed wat? I suddenly remember I actually have the 2003 graduation CD!! So I started spending roughly 10min searching my whole room for tt CD b4 I finally found it. Phew, luckily I didn't lose it. And while I was watching the 32min video, all the sweet old memories juz keep coming back lar. I seriously miss my sec sch days! Although it's been like 3 years only, but then it seems like a long time has passed. Those happy moments seem so distant in my mind, as I try to recall everything I could of my sec sch days.

But before I realised, I'm kinda zapped back into reality and to admit the fact that I'm now serving the farking army and I simply HATE and DREAD going BACK to tt cursed camp. I'm so sick and tired of army life.

JC life was disaster.
Army life was EVEN MORE disaster.
What's next? To be frank, I don't really look forward to Uni life either, unlike some of my friends who r in army now who actually look forward to this next phase of life after ORD for them.

Me?

Partly maybe cuz I've heard from friends in Accoutancy/Business course in NTU abt how disaster the modules they r taking can be. And the fact that I'm the stupidest compared to them make me feel that I'm NOT gonna make it and confirm do much worst as compared to them. I'm juz a stupid ass I feel.

Most importantly I juz hope to slack, slack and nua and slack and nua.... Until I *shuang*, but when will I get to do tt? After ORD? Haiz, tt's like 15 months to go. I juz wish to go overseas now for some break or watz, but then the STUPID army leave system is so corked up until I donno how it works.

But one thing for sure. I'm so looking forward to the end of 2006 and start of 2007.

Currently on my OFF for today and tml which my darn unit owes me. So my OC has officially told me that he has put my name up for POSTING OUT of this camp... YES!! U didn't c wrongly, I hope I'm getting OUT of this camp SOON!

And I donno wat the FARK those S2 branch ppl r. They seem to enjoy asking LOTS of questions majiam they r like interrogating sum1. Fark, if they r not officers I swear I sure ask them to STFU. And it seems currently my name is in the process of being taken OUT of the Brunei trip. Phew, thankfully I don have to go to Brunei and feed the mozzies my blood.

ARGZ!! I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO GET POSTED OUT OF THAT CAMP AND GO SOMEHWERE ELSE!!!!

Sometimes I really wonder why am I wasting my off days juz like that? Lazing at home n rotting, and b4 I realise, it's BACK to camp. Gosh. How sucks can this vicious cycle be? And I juz remember today's my 7th month anniversary is ARMY. Wtf, I still have 15 months to go. Haiz, that's like 66% of the way to go!

Haiz, sianz sianz sianz!!!!

Holding on to that LAST glimpse of hope..... I shall endure!

Come!! Whack me with all the farking armskote stuff! So what if it's only 3 to 4 hours of sleep a day!? As long don't faint can already! Hurry up and give all the "sai kang" to do!! The enthu "sai kang" warrior!!

BUT if I'm NOT gonna get the fark out of tt stupid camp....................................................

I think I can go fark spider liaoz.

SighZ

IT'S BoA's 20th BIRTHDAY!!!

ARZZZZZZ!!!!!

I FEEL SO HIGH NOW!!

Ok...I'm mad.

Fark. Am I jinx or watz? Why when smth good has happened, some fark suay thing juz has to take place next? Fark fark fark!!

Sianz. End of the 5 days break liaoz. Gonna get confined this coming sunday for some stupid 'live' firing. Haiz.
On Saturday went ngee ann city kinokuniya book store to find some books on elementary Japanese. I'm such a kuku. Only manage to find it after like 30min like tt, and best thing is it's actually right at the entrance from where I enter. Fantastic arz. Bought 2 books which cost me$30. Okay arz, i think it's reasonable arz, compared to going for jap courses which can cost around $200.
Then yesterday I spent another $60 on a PC game: Heroes of Might and Magic V. Wah kaoz, I spend nearly 10 hours playing it yesterday lorz. From 3pm to7pm and then 8pm to 2am. Play until shiok. In total I think I spend $150 or so during this long weekend arz. Feel so SHUANG. I donno why, I don feel heartpain at all, but instead think it's necessary to "pamper" myself once awhile.
In the past when I'm still schooling, I might think twice when I buy smth, but then donno y ever since come into army I juz spend w/o thinking 1. Somemore I'm juz getting a PATHETIC $450 a month. Haiz. But whatever arz, now I'm juz so looking forward to the next public holiday, which is CHRISTMAS!?That's like 2 months from now. Sianz sianz sianz! And those ppl in my camp will keep saying "ORD ORD ORD ORD>....." Wtf lorz, ORD then ORD lar. Like tt keep saying can make ppl feel so jealous 1 arz. Haiz, nvm, but I think 1 yr from now I will also be in the "ORD" mood lar. But it's still a long way to go. Haiz, clear 2006 1st then talk.

So fun!!

So I am currently in NBS comp lab using MSN... And b4 that I went to crash my friend's course, AB105 lecture from 230pm to 430pm. My gosh, the lecture is SO boring lar! I yawned like donno how many zillion times. But understadable, as the module is wat organisation behaviour, which I feel in my opinion is quite a stupid n dumb module. Anyway, then pretending to help my friend carry her statistics textbook n walking around as if I'm a student there. Hahaz.. and b4 the lecture I went to the library to explore around..the lee wee nam library... but then I find it quite small arz as compared to what I initially expected.

So after the lecture went to visit my friend's friend's hostel, to see how "big" the hostel room is. Also quite disappointes that NTU hostels are quite small as compared to NUS ones. Hmm.. Somemore NTU only allow double bedrooms for year1s.. piangz... so sucks lorz.

From what I know business/acct students will need to do LOTs of projects. My gosh, that's so sucks arz. I prefer working alone. Haiz, but thinking again, next time go out work also need to work with other ppl. So that's y we need to learn "Organization behaviour" which teaches u how abt HR skills.

Now waiting for my friend to discuss finish her project then can go back liaoz. Lolx.. To certain extent living in hostel is like living in army camps. U see alot of ppl carry their "barang barang" as it's FRIDAY and every1's going home. Hmm... I would say it's an interesting experience today at NBS!

So here I am, on my off for tml, and 2 days of weekend, and deepavali off on Monday, then hari raya holiday on Tuesday. Arz... It's been LONG since I enjoy such a long break.

After tolerating some of the nonsense for a period of time, I talked to my OC abt it, and surprisingly, he's so understanding! Phew... Seriously, sometimes it's becuz of commanders like my OC, for example, that makes life in NS memorable, And pls, I don mean it in a sarcastic way. He's one commander that really knows how to earn not only my respect, but also every single other ppl's respect. If not for the CORKED-UP system in 4SIR, I think personally I won't mind slogging my life for someone like my OC. And I think I will give my 101% if required, as at least I know he appreciates wat I've done. On the other hand, some commanders r such BIG time losers. Kaoz, sometimes I wonder if their degenerative brain is malfunctioning or watz. which can't seem to understanding y so many ppl loathe them.

Seriously, I feel that be it in NS or outside NS, if someone (commander/leader) wanna fark someone, maybe the person shld really think thru in the 1st place whether it's their LOUSY guidance that cause the followers to do or react the wrong way? For example, how can a teacher have the cheek to scold a student if the teacher doesn't even know how to perform his duties well?

But on a lighter note, I'm surprised that quite a few commanders in my company will be going to NBS (Nanyang Business School) next year to take Business or Accountancy. Ok, my so-called future "seniors-to-be". Nice bunch of ppl to mix around with. And of course one PC in my coy who graduated from NTU business, who's ever so nice and say if I next time in uni need any help I may juz find him.

Deep down from the bottom of my heart, such commanders are SO SO HARD to get by. Sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing in disguise to be posted then to Bravo coy of 4SIR. Yes, my coy is okay, but the unit's policies n stuff simply turn me off. Haiz. But thinking thru, I feel that I really need a change of environment. Now I can ony leave my fate to the hands of those twinny-pea brain HQ ppl liaoz.

Being an armskote man.. SUCKS to the core! Fucking piece of shit.... Any idea what does being armskote man means>?

1) Waking up the the EARLIEST and sleeping the LATEST because u have to get ready all the stuff when they wan draw items and start arranging back the items when they return.

2) Getting farked for no apparant reason such as DIRTY sign in/out books cause of the OILY-stainted hands of the soldiers when they sign on the books.

3) And farking hell, some idiots, which include commanders who ALWAYS seem to 4get to sign out, and I've to spend time and energy gathering them back to sign.

4) You will be farking irritated when u r the ONLY one in the armskote room when they draw items, and those SHITHEAD assitants wanna slack and don wan to help u to give the weapon. Fucks, so ALMOST every second, ppl will be shouting at u to hurry up and get them the items they wan, and at the same time ensuring these IDIOTs don't sign at the wrong row, which they seem to ENJOY doing it most of the time.

5) And this one is for SURE!! U will get HEART ATTACK and HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE easily. Imagine when some IDIOTS forget to return items like bayonet or magazines, u will be spending an hour or so COUNTING over and over again, but the figures don't telly. Then when u ask the whole company again, these idiots will be like "O... paisehz.. i 4get to return!" Wtf.... I have a very STRONG feeling that very soon, I'm either gonna get EXTRAs or SOLs or worse still, go to DB!!!

And I donno wat's the farking problem with those pea-brain idiots higher up there doing. Do they actually understand wat is "proper management of manpower"? How could they have like wat 4 ADMIN clerks, 3 STOREMANs and 1 BLARDY armskoteman? Seriously, there shldn't be too many admin clerks, cuz seriously I think at the most 2 is MORE THAN ENOUGH lar!

But I'm not going to voice all that out. I shld just first wait until 27th Oct to know my NEW pes status, then from there I will speak to my OC, S1 and the chief clerk to POST me OUT!!!! So I think now I shld be gathering 101 reasons so why they have to post me out. If everything fails, then maybe I've got to ask "external agencies" for help.

I seriously donno wat the FARK is the problem with the highper authority ppl UP there doing. Fark. I seriously can't stand my unit. Can u imagine when the CO OPENLY DECLARES that he DESPISED ppl with medical problems and will treat them as 2nd class soldiers? Farking piece of shit. And he seems to ENJOY spreading the propaganda to the WHOLE unit, all the way down to the lowest lifeform of men. How would u feel if ppl sometimes give u that "look", as u r juz some farking piece of shit that's worse than those blangadesh workers out there.

I don't know if they r waiting for CHRISTMAS or r they juz feigning ignorance by 4getting to post me out. I DIE DIE will try to get the fark out of tt fark place.

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cursed or wat. Always getting all the suay shits.

I feel good...
Te ne ne ne ne ne ne....
I knew that I would...
I feel good....
Te ne ne ne ne ne ne...
I knew I would...
So good... so GOOD!

When I know how things r gonna work out for me from now till I get *toot*, I just feel so happy lar. It's just wait, rot, wait, rot, and then *poof*. So now I shall be a good soldier and give my very best in watever work I'm supposed to do.

Now I believe in one thing. Birthday wishes do come true afterall! =)

Some commanders r juz so disgusting. One can actually say: "O...do u know why I give u all so much work to do, whereas ppl from other company r more slack than u? There's a reason behind this. Am I right to say that last time when u all were still schooling, ur teachers give u all lots of homework so that u all can do well in exams? The same thing applies here! I'm giving u all lots of work to do so that u all will be more skillful next time when u all ORD."

It's something along those lines.

WAH LAOZ! KAOZ! PLS LORZ! DON'T MAKE ME PUKE LAR. WE DO ALL THE WORK THEN U R ALWAYS WATCHING TV IN THE MESS, IF NOT U R SLEEPING IN UR OFFICE SLEEPING IN THE DAY! WAN TO SLACK JUST SAY SO LAR! IT'S NOT AS WE R SO NAIVE THAT WE WILL BELIEVE WAT U SAY LAR. BLARDY HELL.... SIMPLY "NATO".

**NATO = NO ACTION, TALK ONLY.

And I realised smth. Some ppl arz, I think the 3SG or the 2SG, when they do COS, they think they r really (COS = Chief of Singapore), and if u r a blardy PTE doing COS, ppl will treat u as (COS = Company's Only Slave).

Fark lar. Some commanders really really wanna make me PUKE lar. Er xin to the max. Pieces of shit. They make themselves as if they r angels when in actual fact they r juz so shitty.

Nvm, I swear I will get out of tt farking place. They think they can do me in!? No way!!

So I'm down with 6 COS duties for the month of Sep. Haiz. Okay, I must say I think I'm quite used to doing COS already, since I've already done so many. And I think right now I'm better at using the microsoft and the programming. Actually some of these things r simple but juz tt I'm such a comp-i-diot that I've to learn all these SIMPLE stuff.

I think this month will be quite peaceful as 99% of the ppl will be busy going to Changi Airport EVERYDAY to be luggage-porters and hence, me being not involved, hopefully can slack abit.

And this morning I nearly fainted during flag-raising. Thanks to my CSM who has done a good job by asking him to accompany him to TALK COCK becuz he couldn't sleep. N so we ended up from 12+am "talking" all the way till 4am b4 he says he wanna sleep. N throughout tt period he was doing ALL the talking, abt his life stories and moral values n I will be like nodding my head saying "Hmm.. yeah yeah.. ya..ya" So he was mentioning abt how "some commanders" who appeared to be friendly on the outiside r actually very scheming. Wow.. I was rather shocked y on earth will he tell me such thing. But wellz, it's true lar. This is a "dog-bite-dog" world, u will get eliminated if u r the weakest link.

And today n tml I'm being FORCED to apply my precious leave. Fark. That means end of the yr I can only apply lesser no. of days of leave.

So now I shall hopefully "enjoy" life while I can, although I seriously doubt any1 can really enjoy in such a god-damn camp.

Money and nothing else shapes my destiny. With money, u can do virtually anything that u like. With money, I shall decide my own fate.

Don't try to give me some kind of "CME" lesson. Really, u ppl r farking worse than me, and stop acting as if u ppl r demn "zai" in front of the men. And farking hell, pls stop comparing me with some pea-brain idiots. They deserve to die.

I wish I have great spening power. I need money. More money. I don need anything else.

Don't blame me for your mistakes. Blame youself. So what if I'm despicable>? It doesn't matter to me anymore. Your downfall ensures my survival. This is the real world. Face it! Even if u manage to get rid of me, I make sure I will have my revenge. The smile in me hides a daggar behind. Stay away from me or I'll make sure ur life gets as miserable as mine.

Sumtimes I donno wat's the farking problem with this particular SGT who's so demn blardy against JC ppl. Or shld I say, farking against me. Kaoz, n the joke is tt he's from TPJC last time. He would say things like "wah laoz, u JC student can don disgrace JC student's face anotz. Can u put in more effort anotz?" or "why u can down PES arz? wtf... i think I also wan to down PES lorz, since u now here so SLACK n do nth"

Farking hell, he's really really getting on my nerve, or shld I say a few of my other friends' nerves as well. N he was asking me why DIDN'T I wanna choose to go command sch when I was in BMT. So I replied "don wan lar, kaoz, pls lorz, so many ppl go command sch is either they do well in A-levels if not is their wa-yanging skills are demn good. Owellz, since I possess neither, for wat I waste my farking time go. Kaoz, NO PRIDE lorz. Alot ppl go command sch no leadership skills lorz, I think any1 also can go if they wan." N he was speechless. Guess he knows sacarsm's dripping from my words.

N it took me so long to understand a simple saying which is "Please fight for wat u really want."
Guess I'm juz retarded or wat. Anyway, really, if u really wan smth, fight for it even at the expense of literally anything. It's all right if u r DESPICABLE. There's always sum1 who is more scheming n cunning than u.

I think I can be an asshole jerk if I want to be. -_-'''

Everyday I will look up the sky and I will wonder to myself... ...

WHEN WILL I GET THE SH*T OUT OF THIS FARKING HELL PLACE!? Arzz!! I really wish tt I can have wings n fly the hell out of this unit.

Then I will heave a sigh n I know it won't be tt soon. Kns.

O..And "somebody" who's equivalent status to tt of Mr Kim Jong Il of North Korea in my camp started talking rubbish which really pissed some of us off. Wellz, it's the same old scolding again. Things like whoever always on status will get all the WEEKEND duty, if not he said smth like he DISPISED ppl who r always on status all things like tt. I donno wtf is wrong with this idiot. It's either he has no brain (most likely the case) or brain tt doesn't work. Farking hell, the sight of him really irks me much.

But on a lighter note, I seem to enjoy the company of my new platoon's ppl. SOmetimes it's really interesting to hear abt their life b4 NS. These stories u don really get to hear from typical JC/poly ppl who spent most of their time in sch in the past. Instead, I'm really fascinated by some of the encounters they have, their experiences etc, n I will go "wow" most of the time. Staying up in the night to hear them tok cock to me, whereby I'm always doing the listening most of the time. N I think it's really much better than being in a platoon of pure JC/poly ppl, u will get bored to death cuz there's nth exciting to hear abt.

And frankly speaking, initially I was really excited to be involved in IMF. But now, I really wish I'm not involved in it. Kaoz, we have to do 12 hours shift EVERYDAY during the IMF period, then will go back to camp to rest, n then go back airport again. The worse thing is that our duty is to be LUGGAGE PORTER. It's not tt I despise the job or watz, but I think my hands will break helping to carry all the luggage.

Haiz, COS duty on 27th Aug Sunday. Sianz! This means I will still be inside here till end of Aug!? Argz!! How long must I stay there!?

FARK LAR!!!

WHY I NEED TO BOOK IN LATER 8AM WHEREBY MY FRIEND WHO ALSO ATTEN C ON SUNDAY GET TO BOOK IN AT 9PM !? ARGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

AM I JUUST FARKING SUAY OR WHAT!?

Fark my unit. So juz now I went to CGH to collect my medicine, becuz it's not available in alexandra hosp, so I need to go CGH collect. Nvm, so I've been having quite a terrible runny nose these few days and so I was thinking since I'm at the hosp, I might as well go see the doctor and get some flu medicine. Okay, so it's juz some normal flu n I'll need to stay at home today and tml to rest, if not I will need to carry lots of tissue paper with me wherever I go. So I'm on atten C for 2 days.

Then I realised I need to book in tonight becuz there's 'live firing' tml (which I'm excused n I donno wat the hell I go back for.) Anyway, so I called back my coy line to tell the COS abt my new status, and I got farked.

Conversation :

Me: I'm on atten C, for today and tml, so may I know what time I need to book in tml(sun)?
COS: Do u know that OC has passed the rule that no1 is allowed to take MC outside camp?
Me: I donno... cuz I wasn't in camp this whole week, n I had no choice but to go outside camp to see doc.
COS: Wellz, whatever it is, u juz report back in camp tml 8am.
Me: But I thought the rule is that unless my MC is 3 days or more, if not I no need to come back camp to endorse it? Since mine is only 2 days, I thought I juz need to go back camp till my MC expires?
COS: @#$%^&*@#$%^&* No! U come back tml morning at 8am!
Me: Okay, I'll book in tml at 8am.

**Hung up the phone**

As the saying goes : "Lan lan SUCK THUMB!"

"I juz have to say I'm stupid and I do things w/o thinking thru my brain (if I have 1 in the 1st place) and I'm just a bloody loser who can't accept reality, who can't change his thinking and I wish to escape from all my problems. Fark it!"


I kinda feel that I've come to a state where I'm just trapped in my own narrow set of thinking, and I'm really really tired of "trying" to put on a "brave" front when in the first place I know I'm not able to take it. Worse still, I really sick n tired of ppl telling me encouraging words to motivate me. Yes, I know u ppl mean well, and to be frank, I can understand what some of u r trying to say, but the simple fact is that I know all that u ppl r saying. I mean... Well... I do watch TV dramas and the actors/actress will always use such motivating words to encourage. But haiz, I don't mean to offend any1, but seriously, I've GIVEN UP n I wish I can just escape. Yes, escape. I'm juz trying to escape from reality, and pls, sometimes I really wish I can just sleep forever....... For eternity.......